Alexander's POV

"And how would you feel if you saw a man who you assumed to be your father stand in front of you?" the dimwit of a shrink asked me for the umpteenth time.

"I don't fucking know. My dad's dead already you know that. I just don't understand why we have to talk about this shit over and over again." I was having enough of this repetitive session already. I saw the time and was counting the down the few more minutes until I could run out of this hell hole.

Dr Augustine sighed at me and made some more notes in his notepad. "Listen, Alexander. I've been asking you the same question because you keep on detaching yourself from the situation. It's crucial to understand where Rachel is coming from."

I tapped my foot impatiently waiting for the clock to strike 12 so I could be out of here. "I don't... detach myself or whatever the fuck you're saying. I simply... you know... reserve my energy for something more useful," I waved my hands around trying to make sense of the words coming out of my own mouth. What the hell was I even saying.

"You told me that she is fragile as of lately. This is going to add to her inner turmoil and additionally it will bring out your harsh temperamental side. It's a natural phenomenon in your case. We've been doing good so far at eradicating that. I need you to delve in a bit deeper."

I rolled my eyes at him and made sure that he saw it. "I don't detach myself. It's not my thing to be overly sensitive. I maintain a healthy balance."

The man wasn't having it with me today. I was being really difficult.

Okay fuck it

"Fine. I don't know how to comfort or 'be there'. I do feel terrible for her though."

Hearing that he perked up at me but in a mocking sense. "Finally, Alexander. You admit out loud to feeling something."

I glared at the asswipe. "I get that my past shit has influence some of my behaviour today, but this whole comforting thing has never been a part of me. Like how do you do that shit? I hug her, touch her, say nice things and very often I end up fucking her."

"End up fucking her? Interesting choice of words..." He wrote some more nonsense in his notepad. What was he even making notes for? Was there a point to it?

"I'm no sex guide, but try making love to her. Not just fucking her. It will allow you to open up to her. Tantric sex... It will do you both good."

I took a sip from the complimentary bottle of water on the table and thought about his words. I shook my head no. "Tantric sex is not my thing and I don't believe in that love shit."

"But she does?"

"Well... I guess so."

"Then do it for her, Alexander. As for 'being there', there isn't a concrete definition for it. Everybody is different. But everybody needs support."

I slowly took in his words and pondered over it. I hesitated with my words, "I don't think I love her. I like her. I care for her. I know I feel something towards her, but I'm having trouble pinpointing the emotion."

Dr Augustine nodded at me and waved his hand gesturing for me to continue with where my thoughts where heading.

"But I disagree with your support statement. I made it to the top of the chain without any support. People are spoilt in that sense, wanting that support nonsense. You can do everything by yourself. There is no need to put your problems on others. Deal with it yourself," I said a tad bit arrogantly. It was a concept I would never grasp.

"Not everybody's personal network of themselves is enough to get them through life. We're humans. Primitive and social beings that more often than not require support of some sort." At this point Dr Augustine looked at me hopelessly. "I agree that you made it to the top of the chain without much support and because of that look where you're sitting right now."

I opened my mouth ready to retaliate but shut right up. I looked at the man in disbelief. I sat in silence for few moments disappointed at not having the last word. This idiot was actually correct. Look where I am sitting right now. In a fucking shrink's office.

I looked at the time and stood up stomping away from this session and the man in front of me. "This is the last time I set foot in here!" I said and opened the door running out.

"I'll see you next week, Alexander," I heard the fucktard call out from behind me.

I was dreading going home. Being the coward that I am, I stuck around in my office after the whole commotion that happened earlier and the came straight to my shrink appointment. I didn't know what to say to Rachel.

It's as if I'm her personal bearer of misfortune and bad news. First it was her grandmother's death, then finding out that she wasn't even her real grandmother. I seem to have a knack for physically hurting her at most given opportunities, then I allowed her to get triggered by the incidents with her mother by inviting Rick and Gemma over, and now this shit with who we assume is her dad. Who knows what else was waiting for her thanks to me.

"Goddammit!" I yelled and hit the steering wheel in frustration. Can she ever catch a break?

I walked into the house and threw my keys into the bowl at the foyer. A little touch of Rachel's when she took it upon herself to transform this house to a home – as she had said.

The lights were all off and her car wasn't in the garage either. I checked my phone to see if she had messaged or called but there was nothing. I knew she was safe because I had security following her discreetly after she left the office in a frenzied state but I respected her privacy and didn't ask to keep tabs on her.

I went upstairs and took a long shower allowing the water to wash away everything I was feeling. Angst, anguish, sorrow, guilt... practically every negative emotion there ever was.

I went back downstairs into the kitchen and heated up dinner that the help had prepared for us. I decided to call Rachel and check on her. My hand was almost shaking as I scrolled to her contact because I basically abandoned her today. I didn't go after when she needed me too. I was a real dickhead.

I finally found the little bit of courage I needed and pressed the call icon but immediately cut the call when I heard her ringtone getting louder. She walked into the kitchen from the garage door looking like she had just attended a crying fest. Her pretty brown eyes were laced red and her cheeks and nose all puffy. She looked rather cute.

I cleared my throat to break the silence when she stood before me looking down at the counter. "Where'd you go, princess?"

"Gemma's place."

"Gemma's place?"

Rachel shrugged. "She called me earlier and asked if I wanted to visit. She sent me her address. I met her children too. She has a beautiful little girl."

I didn't know how to have this conversation with her. This was one of the rare times where I was uncomfortable with Rachel. "Uh... yeah. I'm sure she does," I said and rubbed the back of my neck.

Rachel placed both of her hands on the counter to stop them from fidgeting. She stared at her wedding ring while she was at it. "She also told me about her own mother and how she was also abandoned... well kind of because her father did take her in afterwards. We had a moment there. She also told me about her marriage to Rick. Did you know that he forced her into marrying him? We have a lot more in common than I thought."

I was taken aback by her last statement. "I did not force you to marry me, Rachel," I said a little more harshly than I intended to.

She looked up at me emotionless. "No you didn't. I honestly probably would have killed myself by now if I hadn't married you."

I looked at her as if she had grown 2 heads. "What the fuck is going on with you?"

"Nothing, I'm going to sleep."

I took a deep breath to calm my temper tantrum that would occur soon. I just needed to control myself.

"I'm heating up dinner. It will be warm soon."

Rachel began walking to the stairs. "Already ate," she called out coolly and left me standing there utterly confused at her behaviour.

I was expecting her to lash out at me, maybe insult me and tell me what a bastard I have been for leaving her. However I definitely did not expect that.