Replaying the events in my mind every single day had me going mad. I couldn't stop the thoughts. It's as if they made it their mission to haunt me. Thinking about the state I saw Rachel in when I entered that cellar, thinking about how close William was to having his way with her, thinking about all the blood that poured out of Rachel when she got shot, thinking about the lifeless bodies of Jocelyn and Therese, thinking about the unfathomable torture I had inflicted upon William until he finally died in my hands...

She took a bullet for me.

If she hadn't pushed me out of the way, I'd be the one shot. Not her.

She took a fucking bullet for me.

Now here I was in the hospital suite watching over Rachel as she stayed asleep taking her own sweet time to awake. She's really putting me through the most, I just want her to wake up and come home with me.

It's been a whole 2 weeks and she refuses to respond to anything. Her body had shut down but I knew my Rachel was a fighter. I knew she's just punishing me for everything that I had done. She knows how mad I'm going without her and this little princess must be enjoying seeing me in despair like this.

I shook my head bitterly and looked outside the window feeling defeated. I've practically moved in this hospital suite with her refusing to go home. It's either I stay here with her, or she wakes her beautiful self up and comes home with me. Seeing that she decided to sleep for as long as possible, this hospital suite was my new home.

I haven't been to work and lord knows what the hell is happening with my business. I haven't charged my phone in 2 weeks and I was looking like a haggard 50 year old man at this point. I honestly couldn't care about anything except Rachel.

How would I ever survive without her?

I woke up from sitting on the windowsill and staring out at the bleak grey skies. I unwrapped the little mini cake from the box and set it on a plate. Red velvet with cream cheese – Rachel's absolute favourite.

I lit a lone candle and placed it in the middle of the cake walking over to her. I sat down and looked at her gorgeous yet pale face. She was so beautiful, a real sight for sore eyes. I just craved to see her amazing brown eyes staring back at me.

"Happy birthday, princess."

I simply stared at her and tried my absolute best to not break down again. How could this girl have such a great affect on me. How did she hold so much power over me?

"Happy birthday, princess," I said again and blinked rapidly trying to push the tears away.

"Aren't you going to blow out your candle?"

No response. No movement. Nothing.

"It's alright, I won't rush you. I'll blow it out for you okay?" I said and unenthusiastically blew out the candle for her.

"It's your first birthday with me and we're spending it in the hospital. We were supposed to do something special. I was supposed to go all out for you. Please just wake up, princess," I whispered with a tight feeling in my chest.

I set the cake down and rubbed my hands over my tired face. The hospital phone rang and I reached over answering it.

"Mr. Viotto?" asked the receptionist in a sickening sweet voice.

"Hmm?"

"Your grandfather has been trying to get in contact with you as well as the police. Should I forward your grandfther's-"

"No. Just leave it all alone," I said abruptly and hung up the call.

I went back to my original position on the windowsill staring outside. The police has been trying to contact me since 3 days ago but I've been avoiding them for good reason.

Huffing out a breath, I went and turned my phone on as I placed it to charge. As the various notifications flooded through, I looked away waiting for it to stop.

102 calls, 823 text messages and 1005 emails.

I ignored everything and went to my contact list looking for a certain someone. Tapping the call button, I sat through the monotonous ringing tone waiting for him to pick up.

"If it isn't the man all over the news," came out Vladik Russo's smug voice.

"I need your help."

"She must really be something for you to kill 3 people. I'll take care of it, you know my payment," he rushed out and cut the call.

I set my phone down and took a sip of water from the bottles that were set out in front.

Vladik basically had the entire police force under his payroll since he made most of his business from the black market. I'd simply give him his pick of gold and diamonds from my mines and he'll take care of the legal issues for me.

Liam walked through the double doors with a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a little gift bag in his hand. He was the only other authorised person allowed to step into this room apart from me and the medical staff.

"Man, you look like shit," he ridiculed me playfully. I gave him a hard glare because as soon as he entered he starts with his nonsense.

"Tell me something I don't know," I mumbled out frustrated at everything.

"I come bearing gifts for the birthday girl." He set the bag down on the table next to Rachel and placed the bouquet of multicoloured roses in a cup of water since there wasn't a vase around.

He held up the contents from the gift bag and showed me. "Isabella chose all of these."

I studied the contents that he was holding to see a pair of fluffy pink socks, essential oils and some stick diffusers.

"She told me to tell you that you should give Rachel a foot massage and put on the socks afterwards. Helps with circulation or some shit like that, can't remember. These here will make this nauseating antiseptic smell fade away," he said and pointed to the reed diffuser sticks.

"Thank you and tell Isabella that I appreciate it."

Liam took one good look at me and his face went from the usual happy expression to a sorrowful look. He walked over to me hesitantly and patted my back.

"Look," he began and looked away undoubtedly feeling pity for me. "Doctor's say that it's just a flesh wound, nothing was severely damaged so you know she'll pull through. It's just the shock of everything."

I nodded at him knowing everything he already said.

"Then why does it feel as if I'm losing her? Why does it feel like my chest is being ripped in 2 as I watch her lay like this?"

Liam gave me a somber look but then pepped it up with a genuine smile. "Because you love her."

Because you love her

"If this is how love makes you feel then take it far away from me because it's pain." Liam rolled his eyes at me and left after greeting me and Rachel goodbye.

I went over to the nightstand and looked at the things Liam had brought. I set up the reed diffusers carefully next to her and then got out the essential oils and socks.

I put some in my hand not exactly knowing what I was doing but I still went over to the edge of the bed by her pretty feet and massaged the oil deeply. My hand made contact with the little anklet that I had gotten for her on our wedding day and I smiled happily knowing that not once did she ever take it off. I got her wedding rings back and sent them for cleaning after that whole ordeal.

Satisfied with my little task of being a masseuse, I grabbed the pink socks and placed them over her delicate feet.

I chuckled knowing that she would have loved these socks. Pink, fluffy, warm and soft. Just like her.

It was already nightfall by the time I was finished and I washed my hands and took a seat on the stool next to her bed.

I felt like I was dead inside without her. She's right her next to me but at the same time she is so far away. I placed my head on the edge of the bed and closed my eyes hoping for a miracle to pull through.