I remember falling asleep on the couch. I remember Reece shifting me into his bed as I still slept. I remember him sleeping beside me, both of us taking an afternoon nap. What I don't remember is having this nightmare in almost an entire month. I sat up against his headboard, feeling extremely embarrassed. I wasn't even this embarrassed the first time he saw me naked. We've both been sitting in silence for a while now.

He got me water and everything when I woke up, panicking from the nightmare. "Jesus, are you all right?" He spoke up, scratching his head while turning to look at me.

I scooted forward and fell back, my head hitting the pillow while I closed my eyes, letting out a puff of air. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream," I mumbled, dragging my palms down her face. After another fifteen minutes of silence, which I really appreciate him giving me, I calmed down completely. "Anyway," I mumbled, kicking the covers off. "Now that I'm awake, I should just go home."

He clicked his tongue before grabbing my arm and pulling me back down. "You're not going anywhere. And anyway, Chloe told you not to come home. You should wait until she says Caleb's gone. You want to know what you're doing instead though?"

I turned to look at him.

"You're telling me what the fuck just happened. What was that?"

"A nightmare," I deadpanned.

He rolled his eyes before sighing. "What did you dream about?"

I rolled onto my side, facing him while he did the same, our bodies mirroring each other. "Aren't you supposed to avoid talking about something when you're trying to forget it?" I scoffed at him.

"Well... yeah," he said slowly. "But I want to know. Tell me. You woke me up too, I deserve to know."

I sighed again and stared at him, contemplating whether I should tell him about this or not. Only Chloe knows, there's literally nobody else in the world I've told.

"Indigo," he whispered, flicking my nose.

I looked at him.

"Tell me please."

"Okay," I mumbled. "When I was ten years old, this one time I went for a sleepover at my friend's house. She only lived a few blocks down from me. So, the next morning, my parents were supposed to pick me up, right? And then the morning turned into the afternoon and the afternoon turned into the evening and the evening turned into nightfall. And they weren't showing up."

Judging from the look on his face, he figured it out right about then. He realized that I was a child who didn't grow up around her parents. Who was neglected. That I've always been alone. Maybe he even figured out that's why I don't get emotionally attached to people. Because I always expect them to leave, and everybody so far has proven me right. Except for Chloe.

"Then my friend's mom told me that my parents were too busy with work to come pick me up. Nobody came to get me and they weren't dropping me home either. So, I grabbed my bag and I started walking home. And then um... I got hit by a car." I even winced as I said it. "I wasn't looking, I was skipping down the street. The couple from our neighborhood that hit me was rushing to the hospital because the woman was in labor. They didn't have time to call my parents so they just put me in the car and took me to the hospital themselves. I got pretty bruised up. Concussion, fractured ankle, broken nose. That's why I have a bump on it, see."

I touched the slightly uneven bridge of my nose. It doesn't look bad, it looks normal. People don't notice it unless I point it out.

He looked at it and then back at my eyes. "What happened next?" he asked softly.

"So, the doctor called my parents and asked them to come down. You would think they did. But nope," I laughed humorlessly. "I spent the whole week in the hospital, all alone. They didn't come to get me and they didn't come to visit me either. They were just too busy with work, work was just too important to come see their daughter who nearly died. After a week, my grandma found out and came down. She stayed with me and then took me home. I would be alone at home too, most of the time. There was one housemaid who would come to cook and clean and then she would leave too. So, my grandma stayed. Anyway, that's what the nightmare was. The accident. It was very scary."

He didn't give me the pitied expression I expected him to. He didn't react. He just listened intently and then said, "Obviously. You were just ten. That's like a baby, that's like Zach from the ice skating rink."

I chuckled, nodding. "I have this nightmare sometimes but it's usually worse. Usually, I see myself getting in an accident now. At this age, here in Boston. Where I really have nobody who can help me like that. No grandma here," I laughed softly. "It's scarier when I have that dream," I paused. "My parents never had time for their daughter. You know when I have a daughter, I will never let that happen to her."

"Never?" he asked.

I was a little surprised that he asked that, but I remembered he doesn't ever want kids, he never wants to be married. He probably never even wants a long-term girlfriend. I haven't seen him with the same girl for longer than a week. Maybe that's all I'll be too. "Never," I shook my head.

He blinked and then his brows furrowed. "Can I see your phone?"

I frowned in confusion but reached over and grabbed it anyway. I unlocked it and then handed it to him.

He typed away and a couple of seconds later, handed it back to me.

"What did you do?" I asked, putting it on the nightstand.

"I set my contact as the emergency contact. That way, if anything happens, you can call me. Or whoever finds your phone can call me. You should have someone in Boston too. Even if it isn't your grandma."

I sat up abruptly, looking down at him.

"What?" he mumbled, propping himself up on his elbow.

I shook my head softly. "Nothing." I bit my bottom lip in thought. I know I said we weren't having sex today. Or tonight. But after that, how can I not feel the urge to be as physically close to him as possible? But why is he doing such mushy-gushy, lovey-dovey stuff for me?

He's doing things that a boyfriend would but then he calls himself just a fuck-friend. This confuses me. It's the epitome of mixed signals. But mixed signals keep you curious and curiosity keeps you going and when you keep going... you keep wanting.

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his. He seemed a little taken aback but he kissed me back just as fast. I pulled away, looking at him.

"Didn't you say—"

I beat him to it, "I changed my mind."

All I can ask from him is sex. If I want to be around him, we have to have sex, right? Because he doesn't do relationships, he doesn't like me. I'm suddenly doubting my feelings. I wanted to do this 'enemies with benefits' thing with Reece for a reason. He's good at the whole 'no feelings' thing. He's good at letting you down but still giving you the sexual pleasure aspect of it. He's good at satisfying you without taking over your heart. Because he sets the bar high from the very beginning, so high that everyone knows they'll never reach it. So they never try. He makes it very clear from the beginning that he will not date anyone. He will not love anyone. He will not commit to anyone.

Then why didn't the same thing work on me? Why am I here, wanting his commitment?

He was already shirtless. My shirt came off pretty quick and within seconds, we were both naked with him on top of me. He was trailing kisses down my neck and I was staring at a spot on the ceiling. I want to ask him something. I want to know if I'm being a fucking idiot here. "Reece?"

"Yes, Indigo?" His lips moved against my skin.

I pulled my lips into a thin line, swallowing a moan. "Can I ask you something?"

He stopped and lifted his head, looking at me. "Hmm." He nodded, pecking my lips.

"You do this with other girls too, right? Sleep around?"

He nodded slowly. "But not with the same girl. You're the first girl I'm making this a habit with. Why? What's up?" he asked, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I better swallow my pride like I swallowed that moan and just fucking ask. "Have you slept with any other girl since you slept with me?"

He blinked once. Then twice. "Indigo."

"Yes?"

"You've been seeing me every damn night. When would I have time to sleep with another girl?"

"And if you did? Then would you sleep with another girl?"

"Which girl?"

I shrugged, "Any girl. Mm... Jessica?"

He licked his lip while thinking, staring at me.

"What?" I whispered.

"I haven't met a girl who I'm willing to sleep with more than once yet. Except you."

My face contorted into one of confusion. "And why me?"

"I haven't figured that out yet. Any other girl, I can't sleep with more than once. They get clingy, they want more than just the sex, they're around me all the damn time."

I stared at him. "But didn't you always think I was clingy with Landon?"

He paled a little and his eyes went wide. "You knew?"

"I'm not stupid. And I don't care because you're not wrong. I am a clingy girlfriend. I like being a clingy girlfriend."

"Why?" He sounded genuinely curious. He didn't come off as offensive.

"Because I never had anyone showing me they love me. Or even like me. So that's how I choose to show it. I give what I never got. So, it doesn't matter who I'm with. I am a clingy girlfriend, I'll always be a clingy girlfriend. But if you think I'm so clingy, why are you doing this with me?"

"Because you're actually not clingy. With me. Maybe that's because this isn't a relationship. Either way. I'm getting what I want without the extra baggage and so are you."

"Am I? You acted like a total boyfriend today," I mumbled, looking away from him.

"Did I?"

I looked at him. "You know you did. Why did you do that then?"

"Has a boyfriend treated you like that before? Or do you wish a boyfriend would treat you like that someday?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know Landon. And I don't know about your previous boyfriends, but Landon was a dick to you."

"So? It's not your responsibility to make up for that."

"I know. I won't do it again, okay?" We stared at each other in silence for a long time.

I lost my train of thought and started focusing on his eyes.

"What are you thinking?" he asked after a while.

"That your eyes look like caramel."

He laughed softly before leaning down and kissing my neck, finishing what I started.

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