I brush myself off and ignore the pain, throbbing on the left side of my face.

"Yes I did." He gives me a blank stare and I return it. I feel dead around this man.

My mother gasps from behind us and his gaze moves to her. He steps pass me and my mom almost runs into his arms.

He hugs her, tight, it looks like and she returns it.

Something sinks inside me and all I do is sigh and look away.

How disturbing. I'm not surprised, though. I had a feeling she would be like this.

Maybe if they didn't have me, they would've still been happy. But they did have me, so they have to deal with me.

I move away to some random spot further from them and stand.

What now? He got me and Mom back, but what does he want from us?

I look over at them and blink.

What does he want from me?

Suddenly, my Dad passes me, holding my mother's hand. Caleb follows behind them, but stops next to me.

"Let's get in the van. We're going to have a talk at the house." Caleb motions me to come with him and reluctantly, I follow him.

The bitter feeling in my chest spreads. I don't want to go back in that house. I never wanted to step foot in that prison ever again.

Now I have no choice. Again, just like all those years ago, when my life was what my father decided it was.

I swallow.

It's okay. I want this. I have to face my father and now is that time. It doesn't matter if I would rather be in Ryder's arms, feeling warm and safe. No, I knew this day was coming and I'm ready.

If Ryder was here, he'd probably be next to me holding my hand, supporting me through this.

So I'll just pretend he's right next to me, squeezing my hand, standing tall, being my pillar.

I clench my fists and take a deep breath.

Exhaling, I shake my head and focus. Caleb holds open the car door for me and I nod to him as I step inside.

I'll keep fighting until I get back home with you, Ryder.

***

The ride was brief. Quiet, as side from a couple phone calls to Caleb and my Dad.

We get out in front of the main entrance of the house, while the driver takes off to park the car.

I sigh.

I wish I could go with him.

My father takes the lead and opens the door. Stepping into my old home, I breathe in the nostalgia of my childhood.

Looking around as I walk, my mind wonders back to when times were good.

Passing the staircase, I remember running down it to escape my Mom when we would play tag.

The blue walls I used to always scribble on now seem a lot shorter than they were before. That's what growing up does to you.

Taking the turn to the family room, I think of all the times I put puzzles together with my mother and father inside of it.

When I turned 8, that's when things started to fall apart.

We all get seated around a small table I don't recognize. My mom sits next to my father, across from me and Caleb sits at a chair next to mine.

The silence in the air surrounds us as my father's eyes meet mine. We stare at each other for a moment before he looks away and falls into a daze.

My eyebrows frow from confusion.

He looked away first...? That doesn't make any sense. He would never do that.

My father is a strong-willed man who'd rather give up his men than lose anything. Even something as petty as a staring contest.

He has changed. It's slight but my father looks worn out.

His brown hair sticks to his head and his bright green eyes seem dull. He slouches in his chair, instead of his usual straight, proud posture.

I look at his hand in my mother's.

He wasn't forgiving back then either.

I smile. I'm glad our absence made him suffer, even a little bit. He deserves ten times worse.

Caleb coughs and my father perks up as if waking up.

I'm not used to this, I don't think I'll ever try to get used to it. I don't care that much.

"We're here to discuss your marriage to Caleb." He states, meeting my eyes again.

I nod.

"It's not happening." I shrug and keep my eyes on his.

"Yes it is. It's been planned since before you were born. There's no backing out." He sits up a little straighter, seeming more like the father I knew.

The one I'm here to face.

"I don't want to marry him, so I won't." This is a joke. We all know what we should be discussing right now and this isn't it.

"I've heard all about that boyfriend of yours. I'm sure you'll compromise if I send a couple men to play with him." Saying this, he let's go of my moms hand and places both of his on his knees. Just like he used to.

This is the Dad who raised me.

Ryder. He'll kill him. My Dad doesn't hesitate to get those in his way, out. By all means.

It's okay, calm down.

I scoff.

"You're already trying to control my life and I just got back. I haven't even had dinner yet. I'm hungry." I adjust myself in my seat, getting more comfortable.

My father narrows his eyes at me and smirks.

"You're trying to change the subject, does he mean that much to you?" His smirk widens as I barely tense.

Relax. You know how this game works. So win it.

"He was a place to crash at so I didn't have to live with the bitch sitting next to you. He started liking me and I decided to have some fun. Sue me just cause I don't want him dead." I yawn.

You're doing good. Keep it up.

"Just like how I taught you, huh? You're doing alright, I'll give you that, but I've done this a million times. Don't worry I'll show you his dead body before I bury him." My father chuckles.

He means it...

My heart rate increases and a cold sweat covers my face.

My act drops.

"What the fuck do you want?"

My father genuinely smiles and laughs. Full out laughs.

This crazy fucker.

He calms down and grabs my mother's thigh.

"I want you to marry Caleb. Simple." I look over at Caleb and he turns away, avoiding my eyes.

"Sure." I say, clenching my teeth.

"But just to make sure you know I'm being completely serious...I'll send some guys to rough him up. Just a little."

My breathing stops.

"You wouldn't..." I whisper.

"You know I would."

My body jitters and my heart swells with hate.

Ryder can't- I won't let him. I won't.

I lunge across the table and grab my father by his neck, strangling him.

"I'll break your neck right now, you fucking monster! I hate you!" I press against his throat as hard as I can, feeling my mother's hands pull on my arms, but suddenly I'm ripped off of him.

"Fuck! Just let me kill him. Please!" I struggle against the person behind me, holding me back.

Breathing heavily, I bring my foot behind theirs and kick foward making them lose balance as I elbow them in the chest, pushing them off me.

I run up to my dad again, trying to finish the job but about 5 bodyguards appear from nowhere and grab my arms, legs and waist.

I'm stuck. Shit!

I scream out loud and feel tears behind my eyes. The pain inside me grows.

He's going to kill him. He's going to end the only happiness I ever found in my life.

I can't do anything!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

My eyes snap to my father as the tears overflow and slip onto my cheeks.

"If you kill him, I swear I'll fucking end you! I hate you! Why can't you just leave me alone?! Leave us alone!"

My Dad rubs his neck and coughs.

"Nevermind, I won't show you his dead body. I'll just stick him in the ground and let him rot." He chokes out, smiling.

I spit at him. It lands all across his face and he flinches.

As he wipes his face his smile is cleaned off as well and he approaches me.

I push and shove against the men but they hold fast.

I clench my teeth as he stops in front of me. He punches me in my face and my lips bust. I lick the blood off them and spit at him again.

He punches me again. I barely feel any pain. Ryder's all that matters. I left to protect him, I can't let him die. It would break me and he would be gone. His whole life wasted, because he decided to kidnap some girl from his school.

"If you want to kill me, kill me, just leave him alone." I breathe out, almost unable to hold up my head.

"I need you for this alliance with Busken. I'm going to enjoy seeing your face when he's died. I bet it'll look worse than it does now. Consider this your punishment for running away. Maybe then you'll learn how to listen to me. Take her to her room, I don't want to see her until her wedding day." He waves me away.

That's what this is about. Me running away. He's going to- because I- but I don't want- oh God.

This is all my fault.

"Please don't kill him! Please!" I scream as they drag me back.

My mother looks at me with pity and follows my father as he leaves.

"I hate both of you! I'll kill you! Don't kill him!!!" I shriek out, as my tears flow harder.

I couldn't protect you, Ryder. I can't do anything for you right now. I put you in danger instead.

Please survive. Come back to me.

The world's too cold to live in without the sun. I need your warmth or else I'll freeze to death.

______________________________________

872k

2/4/19

Hey y'all im at lunch again I had something I wanted to say but i forgot.

Ill tell yall later.

So I guess Ryder's dead. Maybe. Idk.

Until next time guys thx again.

Ciao.