I stayed at the lodging, refusing to leave even though Min had tried to get out. I kept in my room, trying to erase the memory of Wang Feng and his touch.

I felt ashamed for what I was feeling. I hated that I was so affect that I'm shaking in fear. Hiding under the covers, I stared up at the ceiling, trying to empty my mind. But the memories again resurface - memories I hadn't thought about for a long time.

Hou Rong was very much like Wang Feng - strong, beautiful, and arrogant. The difference was Hou Rong was a scholar - Wang Feng was a general. The two never cross path. And being with Hou Rong, I never crossed path with Wang Feng.

Zhou Family - specifically, my third uncle has good relation with Hou Rong. Third uncle had wanted one of his sons to be a scholar official, so he created close relation to Hou Rong in order to pathed ways for his sons. I didn't know that the time that I was a pawn - a stepping stone for third uncle's children.

My previous life, third uncle used my naivety - setting up that perfect first encounter. In the center of the Zhou family garden, an unknown man stood under the pavilion, writing a poem. I had fallen in love with Hou Rong at first sight. His intelligence captured me. His beauty captured me. His eyes captured me.

In tears, I remembered how frantically I tried to win his attention but he never looked at me. third uncle used my infatuation to trap me deeper and deeper. After years of chasing after the man shadow, I begged third uncle to help me. I wanted to with with Hou Rong. I wanted to marry Hou Rong. When third uncle was able to make Hou Rong agree to marry me, I had been happy - even if I had to marry through the back door as a concubine.

It was only after marriage that I realized just how foolish I had been. The man never cared. He married me like how he married others. It was all in name. I was only a decoration to his home. After years, the man still didn't know I existed in his home. He saw me and look right pass me. I stood in front of him and he walked passed like I was a ghost.

"No..."

I cried softly as I felt my heart aching like it did in the past.

Never again.

Curling in a ball, I gripped onto my head, trying to force the horrible memory of my past life. Closing my eyes shut, I repeated over and over that I'm now stronger. That I do not need to be afraid. That I will never love like I did before.

Never again.