Avocado , papaya, sweet potato, chaat masala and coriander dressing served on Boston sour dough. Alex finished writing down the last of her notes in the recipe notebook she carried with her and popped it into her bag. The clock in the mini-kitchen of the suite read 3:40pm. She still had another 20 minutes before she was meant to meet Gabriel and Theo in the lobby.

Her focus had been solely on food for the past few hours so Alex had managed to block any thoughts of her high-handed employer out of her mind until this moment. Gabriel Moncrief. Where did he see her red umbrella? She had brought it with her to Boston, but couldn't remember having used it.

Ah! What did it matter when there was a much bigger issue, namely that the man was messing with her equilibrium. Every time he got too close, her heart felt like it was going to burst, which was utterly ridiculous!

Feeling the need to move, Alex threw on her coat, slung her bag over her shoulder and left the rooms. Outside, her eyes were drawn to the details on the carpets, the fonts of the buttons in the elevator, the lattices on the corners of the mirrors. These were the things her parents had taught her to notice. 

Old habits died hard.

Alex stepped out at the lobby and took in the view. As winter's early darkness descended outside, different types of lighting turned on in the grandiose space; spotlights glistened off Christal chandeliers, chunky candles swayed on Swarovski tapers and slim lamps cast shadow-shapes over the designer seating. Cocktails were being had by groups of beautifully dressed women. Alex took a deep breath, focusing on the red liquid in the pretty glasses: lemon, pomegranates, cardamom bitters and powdered sugar. Sweet and sour with a bit of spice; it was a mix worth noting.

She was moving towards an empty seat near the front entrance when a voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Alexandra?"

Alex held her breath, trying not to smell the all too familiar mix of coffee, amber and musk. Her heart picked up its beat. It couldn't be. Not here. Not now.

"Alexandra?" The man said again as he moved to stand in front of her.

James. Her eyes ran over him, looking for all the changes she had missed over the years. Aside from a few tiny laugh-lines around his eyes and slightly shorter hair he looked the same. Comfortingly the same. She noticed the colour of the socks under his dark blue suit pants and realised he still couldn't tell navy and black apart. The fool. The handsome fool. Her hands itched to reach out, to embrace her only surviving family.

"I'm sorry, you have the wrong person," she managed to find her voice.

"I...but your voice," there was pain in James' eyes as he shook his head. "I know it can't be, but you, you look so much like her."

Not knowing what to do, Alex bit her lip and tried to stop the tears from gathering in her eyes. For years she had missed him. For years she had stopped herself from reaching out to him. But seeing him now, she couldn't for the life of her remember a single reason why she had hidden her existence.

"I know this is ridiculous, but can I...can I just look at you for a moment?" A single tear slipped from the corner of his eye. Alex drew in a shaky breath, her eyes fixed on her feet as she nodded.

Time seemed to slow down. People walked around them. Laughter sounded from the left. Someone dropped a suitcase. Finally, Alex couldn't stand it anymore.

"I have to go now," she said taking a step to the right.

James's hand shot out to stop her. The pain was instantaneous. It shot through her arms and into her center. And here was the reason she had been hiding. She was a monster. Alex cringed, her eyes pressing closed as she absorbed the burn in his stomach.

"Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes at the concern in his voice, recognising the worn bracelet on his wrist as one she had made for him as a child.

He withdrew his hand, "I'm sorry. I didn't meant to stop you, I just..."

"Chef Turner, we have been looking for you." Alex tensed as a hand wrapped around her arm and pulled her back. Gabriel's blue eyes were as cold as steel as he looked over her head at James. Take me away, she thought desperately. Please, take me away.

"Mr Blake, isn't it? We met a while back in L.A." Gabriel continued. Alex could feel the anger rolling off him in waves, but was too shaken to even attempt to make sense of it.

"Yes, I remember," James cleared his throat, trying to pull himself together. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Mr Moncrief."

"Is it now?" Gabriel's voice was low, his expression menacing.

"Gabriel," Theo appeared on Alex's side, with Eirik right behind him. The Hotel manager looked strained, his head slightly lowered as if he was afraid to look at them. "Shall we head out? We have a plane to catch."

Gabriel's grip on her arm tightened for a moment and she watched in confusion as the frigid look in his eye started melting away. "We will take our leave then," he told James but his gaze was now on her. "Eirik, you make sure Mr. Blake has everything he needs. Ms Turner, shall we?"

Alex looked back at her brother one last time. His shoulders were hunched, his lips pressed tight. She wished she could absorb his sadness the way she had taken his pain. She wished she could curl onto his lap and he would make everything better. Mom and dad would be alive and she would stop being a monster. But all of that was just empty wishing. 

She couldn't ruin his life by becoming his burden.

"Let's go."