Friday, 4:00 A. M.

It has been five days since I last texted him, all this time, I had been so busy with my new jobs. It feels like I am going under and this time there's no one to save me.

I opened my text book but my eyes were so filled with tears that I could not read a word. The crystals fell down my eyes on the creme pages forming, rosettes of the ink. I need somebody to hear, somebody to know, somebody to have, somebody to hold. It's easy to say, but it's never the same. I guess, I kinda liked the way he numbed all my pain.

But now, the night comes with the darkness it carries and no one's here to get me through it all. I placed my head down on the table, contemplating all that happened today, slowly letting myself loose in the stream of emotions, my eyes were heavy with all those nights I have gone through sleepless. The dizziness was taking over me as I closed my eyes letting the soft tears out of my eyes.

My dizziness was shaken away by the ringing of the doorbell. I had no idea who could it be at this time of the night. Ominous thoughts grew at the back of my mind.

Should I wake Patrick up?

I slowly measured my way to the entrance with a baseball bat in my hand. I slowly opened the door only to encounter the least expected person.

Ryan saw me, I could see through his teary eyes that he had been suffering. My eyes refilled with tears but somehow my heart didn't flutter at the sight of him as it used to do. Within a blink of an eye, I could feel his body pressed against me as he was hugging me, I lost the grip on the baseball bat and it fell on the ground creating a sound loud enough for someone to wake up, except for Patrick.

Even though he was hugging me and letting his tears moist my shirt, I could not make myself to hug him back. He parted from me and examined my expressionless face. I was not able to move a muscle, my heart was ringing in my ears but I could not hear it, all I was hearing was Ryan's nervous breathing.

It took me a minute to come back to reality and realize how close he was to me. In the heat of the situation, I pushed him, hard enough for him to loose balance and fall down. He looked at me with disbelief, I know what he thinks of me- a stupid, persuasive girl?

"What are you doing here, Ryan? Go to Sasha!" I snapped.

"Please don't say that, Kaylie.. Please."

I can't believe this man, he was the one who humiliated me, dumped me, married my best friend, and now asking me not to say this?!

I just want to slap him right across his face but I just cannot muster up the courage. My hands were trembling and my heart whimpering. I feel so fucking stupid to be this way.

Ryan got me and held me by my shoulders, staring right into my soul through my eyes. His eyes were so lonely, as if wandering on some dry land, they begged for support, which unfortunately, I didn't possess. I broke the eye contact to look in the other direction.

"Please help me, Kaylie. It's the last time I am asking something of you."

Brown guilty eyes and white lies, what else does he have. I should be disgusted at his face but I felt exact opposite, I wanted to help him, ain't it funny? I sighed and looked back at him with more resolute eyes," No! And get lost", I shrugged off his hands from over my shoulders to sit back on my seat, opening the text book to I don't know what page.

"Close the door once you leave." I said, not even sparing him a glance, restricting myself.

I heard his footsteps retreating when the sound ceased, I looked at him standing on the door, "I'll wait for you right here, till you come", he said.

I rolled my eyes as I got up and banged the door on his face.

It has been an hour now, he probably had left. I got up to check, I opened the door a little, and he was still there. There was slight drizzle which I did not realize, leaving him soaked not only with water but with the loneliness. It makes me want to help him even more.

It's not love, it's pity

I asked him to come inside as I saw him shivering in the cold weather. He came in without any hesitation a d sat on the sofa making it all wet, I sighed once again. I sat in front of him waiting for him to start the conversation but he was so full of guilt, his head as if stuck looking down.

"Speak or leave" I said.

"My mother..." he stopped as he joined his hands and looked at me.

"she wants to meet my wife."

"I think you mixed up the girls. Your wife is Sasha not me." I said maintaining my cold tone.

"S-Sasha.. she left me." he said almost as a whisper. My eyes widened to take in more light than I expected. I could not comprehend what was happening in front of me.

"Please Kaylie, please help me this one time.. Please pretend to be my wife for one day."

"Are you fucking crazy? I will not be a part of this filthy plan. Just tell her the truth or beg in front of your wife." I yelled.

"Please-" his watery eyes made their way to my heart, somehow affecting me. I don't want to do it and I will not!

"Kaylie please, my mother is a heart patient and she won't be able to take the truth. I request you."

I gulped my still beating heart. He just knows where to hit to make me soft. I could not even look at him, only I know, how much I hated him for this. It makes me feel pathetic that I want to help him.. like I got no self respect.

I glanced at him crying, it's the first time in three years I has seen him this miserable. I cannot but accept his unreasonable plea and he left saying uncountable thank yous and sorrys but none reached me. I sighed a hundredth time as I closed the door, I leaned my back towards the door and fell down, hugging my knees, only to think what I have gotten myself into. I closed my eyes and didn't even realize when I slept on the entrance, behind the door, with moist eyes.

Pathetic. I thought but I was too tired to care anymore.