If you only knew

I'd sacrifice my beating heart before I lose you

-Shinedown

Damion

It's been two weeks since Catiyana arrived, and every chance she's had she has tried to make a move on me.

Her delusional father is still under the impression that I want to secure an alliance with him through the means of marriage. Little does he know i could just simply take his pathetic excuse of a pack.

These warriors they sent for training are a shame to wolf kind. The fact that he has to send them somewhere else to be trained speaks for itself. It will take more than 2 months to churn some kind of results, but that would mean having Catiyana here longer and I'm afraid that Gray will take control and kill her. Just thinking about her touching my skin repulses me. This mate bond is affecting me more and more each day. How I've managed to make it this long without touching her again, is making me lose it.

Everything still smells like her, my dreams are always about her, even watching her train makes my dick so hard, those cold showers aren't cutting it anymore.

I need to get a grip. Lycans in my family have never had a happy ending. That's not what our destiny is about, we kill and dominate everything around us. We don't have weaknesses. Our long lifespans don't allow a mate to stay by outsides, they will long be dead while we are still here, alone. My ancestors kept a woman around for one purpose, expanding the Lycan line for another generation. This is what was expected of me and this is what I will do.

Maybe I should just let Catiyana bare my pup. She's so desperate it's exhausting. Her father would be more than happy to let her breed the next powerful Lycan. A power play on his end no doubt. His eyes lust for power, he's been trying for years to secure any type of allegiance to me. I don't need anyone to support me, but everyone is determined to have my support for themselves. I know their games, their sad attempts at power. The key to ruling our world is the one who will continue the Lycan legacy. We don't have mates so she-wolves are always thrown at us to help secure their place.

My focus needs to be on my Lycan heir, and not allowing anyone to catch wind of my mate bond with Octavia. The second Catiyana or her father find out, will mean death for O. They'll kill her, or tell my enemies that I finally have a weakness. For the rest of her days she will have a target on her back.

Octavia will be ok after I reject her, maybe the moon goddess will take pity on her and give her a second chance mate.

I just can't be with her. I am already so consumed by her, if we mark her, she will be the death of me. I would die for her. Rejecting her isn't just for my benefit, but hers too. She deserves someone who doesn't have so much blood on their hands. I kill people without a second thought, hunting down prey, chasing after my enemies, killing so effortlessly. I don't regret it. I actually enjoy it. I enjoy that the last thing they see is my smiling face before I rip their throats out. I'm a monster, parents tell stories of me to scare their children into behaving. Tales that are more exaggerated the longer they are told, tales that I don't correct because I enjoy the looks of fear.

No one dares to cross me. No one would even stand a chance. I'm the biggest and strongest wolf alive. I fear no one.

No one till now

Octavia