Don't cry in front of them, please just fight back the tears. Please just don't let them see me cry...—Unknown

[4]

and bolt awake with sweat dripping down my face. Then they stop, and that is when I realise that I am the one screaming. Flashes of their faces vanish before my eyes.

Tears stream down my face as I sob loudly into my pillow. Make it stop. I hate crying, and I just don't want these nightmares anymore. Why doesn't anyone hear me? I thrash my legs around my bed and silently scream.

Save me. Help me. Take me away.

My cries slowly go away. I walk over to my wardrobe, grab my mother's old coat and slip it on, her smell faint but still there. I walk over to my mirror and pull out tissues to wipe the tears from my face.

When I look up, I stare at my reflection. Bruises cover the whole of my face. Tears fill my eyes again, but I quickly blink them away. I don't deserve to cry.

I grab my phone from my bedside table and look at the time.

3:15 AM.

Barely even got three hours of sleep. I'm not tired though, I can't sleep. I silently open my window and reach my arm out to the tree. I shut my window the best I can before climbing the rest of the way down.

I stuff my hands in my pocket and walk away from the house that I sleep in, but also haunts my dreams.

Mama and Papa would be disappointed in me for hiding all the time. They would have told me to just face my fears and do the one thing I must do.

Get help.

I'm not going to though. I deserve every part of this. If I had not been screaming and crying that one night, I would still have my parents with me. I'd probably be as normal as a teenager could get. My thoughts would not be on protecting myself all the time. Maybe I would even have had a boyfriend.

I don't care about those things though. I never have and never will. I only have one wish.

To be saved.

I curse in frustration and just scream. No houses, no people. Just the rocky cliffs and me. I scream and cry, a mix of both.

I just don't care anymore. I no longer want to live. I'm no longer going to have to put up with Gary and David. I will join my parents. I cry as I feel something inside me relax. I'm going to be rescued.

Except, by no angel, just me. This is how it's meant to be.

I walk over to the cliff edge and look down. It will be painless. I will save myself from everything; I am going to end these demons inside me. I take one last look at the cliff edge.

That's when I see him.

Everything inside me freezes in fear. He knows, but the look in his eyes tells me otherwise. Curiosity.

"What are you doing?" Adam asks. I shiver at his hard gaze.

He just ruined my chance to make peace with myself. Why is he even here?

"What are you doing?" I throwback. He narrows his eyes at me. I scoff and turn back around and stare back down at the river below. I would be at peace by now.

I let out a shaky breath and sigh.

"I was going for a walk, you?" He asks. I flinch.

'Don't lie,' I tell myself. I always end up doing just that though. It is the easiest way out of everything.

"I don't know. I needed air?" I say. I lied again.

My phone vibrates causing me to jump. I pull it out in fear of them calling me. My eyebrows knit together in surprise. It is only my alarm. How long was I out here?

After noting that our little talk is not going anywhere, I make a move to leave.

"Well, I should go. My parents," I hiss through my teeth, "will be wondering where I am. So, if you would excuse me..." I walk past him but he gently reaches out for my other arm that does not have as many bruises.

I look down at my arm feeling the warmth burst within. I yank my arm back. This time it's not because of pain, this time is different.

Adam looks just as shocked as I do. He looks up at me in surprise and so do I. Our eyes connect making my heart pick up its pace.

"What happened to your face?" He questions.

Shit! I didn't think I would be seeing anyone.

"I slipped on the wet tiles and hit my head on the counter..."

Adams' mouth forms an 'o' shape. I faintly smile, but it's gone just as quickly as it came.

"Anyway, see you later?" I quickly mutter before walking off in the direction of the house not waiting for his response. My hands are so shaky. I was going to kill myself today, my deathbed was right there. However, I didn't do it.

Adam ruined it, and now, he has destroyed my peace as well.

-

Lunchtime comes around quickly. My head is throbbing from my three-hour nap and the bruises from yesterday's beating are not really helping either. I groan and lean my head on the back of the tree trunk.

Loud laughing is heard from a table a few metres away from me. I look up to see what is happening only to lock eyes with his. Adam is not glaring this time; his eyes are like a replica of mine.

Empty and sorrowful.

I frown before taking in all his other friends. Most of them are laughing except Adam and one other person whose face I can't see. I turn my head back to Adam and stare back into his eyes.

I blink and look away over to the place where all the jocks and other shit are sitting. David is glaring at me. My body freezes. He doesn't look happy with me at all. I haven't done anything wrong today, well, I don't think I have anyway.

David makes his way over to me. I quickly stand up and brush my hands. Fear shakes within me, but I put up a smile and pretend we are just siblings.

"Isabelle..." His face shows kindness, but his voice tells me otherwise. I nod in acknowledgement before looking down at my fingers. My head tilts up rather harshly but still gentle enough for no one to realise what is going.

"What did I tell you about looking at people?" David's voice comes out in a hollow whisper.

"To not make eye contact and if I do..." I suck a breath in. "Look away."

David smiles satisfied. "Good, so you understand that having a stare off with Black isn't going to get you anywhere?" I nod my head silently before looking away from David's piercing gaze.

"Good!" David's hand clamps down on my shoulder. I hiss in pain as his fingers dig deeper into my shoulder of bruises.

"Please, David, stop..." I gasp for air when he lets go. My eyes fill with water. David smiles down at me and gives me a hug before whispering in my ear, "If I see you lay even the slightest look on Black again, I will choke you, and I may not stop this time."

He pulls away before walking off. The bell goes just in time. I keep my head down and don't look in Adams direction. I can't let him get to me. I will only be another girl.

I'm not going to feel. I cannot feel.