I hate getting flashbacks from the things I don't want to remember."—Unknown

[22]

, harsh feeling that everyone has felt. It's painful and it hurts because the only thought that runs through your mind at the time is how you're going to hurt someone or how you can just leave and never come back. I wanted something bad and I was angry. Maybe, this is about a Teddy bear? Teddy bears make people angry, right?

Well, for a seven-year-old that is.

"I want that teddy, Papa!" I scream, tears rolling down my face.

"Isabelle..." My Mama warns, giving me a pointed look. I shake my head and huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"No!"

"Isabelle!" My Papa yells frustratingly. I jump at the sudden noise and pout. I want that Teddy. I have to get that Teddy.

"No!" My screams fill the car. They're even louder than the crappy, pop music playing on the radio.

"Isabelle, you're going to cause a car crash if you don't shut up. Do you want Mama and Papa getting hurt?" Mama softly asks. I nod my head and glare at Papa.

"I hate, Papa," I whisper quietly.

"You don't hate Papa, you're just angry..." Mama grabs hold of my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"Honey, you need to breathe, it's nothing to be sad about, and you've got lots of Teddy's at home." I stare at Mama before silently nodding. "Okay."

Mama smiles and turns to look at Papa.

"How much further?" Mama whispers quietly.

Mama never understands that I don't get anything. She thinks that I'm loved and have every toy a little girl would dream of.

I don't have that Teddy though.

"Papa?" I quietly ask.

Silence.

"Papa..." I say a little bit louder this time.

Silence again. He's probably just deaf or something.

"Papa!" I shout.

Silence again. Papa is definitely ignoring me.

"Papa, Papa, Papa, Pa-" I'm cut off by Papa's loud booming voice.

"What, Isabelle!?" Papa turns around in his seat and glares at me. I don't like making Papa angry. Tears fill my eyes and my lip begins to tremble again.

"Papa I'm - " I was cut off by my body being thrown to the other end of the car.

It's funny to think that in such a short time, your life can change so dramatically. Mama was the only one who saw the car, but before she could register what was happening, it was too late.

Someone screams but I don't know who. Black dots my vision as I take in the scene in front of me. Flames dance around me, teasing my blue eyes as I take it all in. That was the last thing I saw of that night.

No dead bodies of the people I loved. Just flames. Horrible, red, burning flames.

"We didn't see the car coming, it just happened," I cry. "It's all my fault, Adam! If I didn't fucking scream for my father's attention, then maybe they wouldn't have died. Maybe we would've continued our lives like we had before..."

Sobs break through my mouth as I shake violently against Adam's chest.

"Shh, Prezioso, it wasn't your fault. You were just behaving like every other seven-year-old. It wasn't your fault, okay?" I nod my head and sigh.

"This isn't even the worst part..." I whisper. Adam nods his head for me to continue and so I do.

"Hello, Isabelle! How are you, my beautiful princess?" A voice yells from across the room. I jump up in surprise and grin at my Uncle.

"Uncle Gary!" I scream happily and run into his arms. "Did you know my Mama and Papa aren't coming back?" I whisper quietly, tears now clouding my vision. Uncle Gary nods his head, a sad smile on his face.

"You have to trust Uncle Gary and let him care for you, okay?" He asks. I nod my head and wipe my snotty nose with the sleeve of my jumper.

"I brought something for you, Princess," Uncle Gary tells me. I look up at him with my blue eyes and wait for him to tell me what. The door opens up revealing my best friend.

David.

"Avi!" I squeal. David runs up to me and hugs me tightly. "I missed you Belly," he whispers into my ear. I nod my head and hug him tighter.

A look back up at Aunt Kelly and wave. She waves back but doesn't smile, instead, she looks angry and sad.

"It's okay, I'll handle it," Uncle Gary says quietly. Aunt Kelly nods and looks back over to us.

"You ready to leave this hell hole, Princess?" Uncle Gary asks. I eagerly nod my head and run up to the door but a thought then pops into my head.

"Maybe Mama and Papa will come back...they don't just leave, do they?" My small voice asks. Aunt Kelly glares at me and scoffs.

"Sweetie, you know darn well they aren't coming back." I frown but nod my head. I miss Mama and Papa so much.

I just want them back.

I've been punished again. I don't know why I just know it hurts. My body hurts so much. I pull my knees up to my chest and cry, pain soaring its way through my body at the action. Uncle Gary doesn't like me very much anymore.

He said that I'm the reason Mama and Papa left and aren't coming back. I don't understand him very much though. He calls me mean names and then hits me.

A lot.

He now drinks a lot of alcohol. Papa never drinks alcohol because he says that it's bad for you.

My stomach sometimes hurts so much that I vomit. I have a lot of bruises on my body. All the kids at school compare the bruises on their legs and see who's got the best.

I have the best.

I'm not allowed to talk to other kids. Gary says that if I make friends and talk to people, he'll punish me and hurt me so much that I won't be able to move. I don't want that to happen.

I rub my puffy red eyes but wince at the contact. I always forget about the bruise on my eye, it hurts a lot though.

"Belly?" I hear a voice whisper. I slightly look up and see David in the doorway looking at me. I cry even more and hug myself closer.

"What did he do this time?" He asks. I sniffle and move over a little bit to fit him next to me.

"He - he punched me a lot in the stomach and said more mean words to me." More tears fall as more pain thumps in the pit of my stomach.

"Belly..." David whispers and gently hugs me. "One day, we'll run away together to a place where no one can find us." I nod my head.

"Promise?" I ask and hold my pinkie finger out. David smiles and looks me in the eyes.

"Promise."

"They abused you..." Adam states quietly. I cry into my hands and nod my head.

"Ye - yeah."

"Fuck!" Adam screams, punching the wall. "Why didn't you tell anyone!?" I scrunch my face up and look Adam in the eyes.

"Shit. I'm so sorry, Isabelle." Adam pulls me over to him and hugs me, letting me cry over his shirt. We sit on the couch, Adam holding me until I finally calm myself.

"Isabelle," Adam whispers. I look up at him.

"Yeah?"

Adam sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Did David ever hurt you?" I momentarily close my eyes before nodding my head again.

"Yeah..."

"Oh."

"He was the biggest support for me for years. It was only when I was thirteen did he first hit me. It was a total accident then but something clicked inside him that day and then it just kept happening. The first few times were 'accidents' until finally, he did it more than Gary. I was his punching bag."

Adam tenses up and looks at me. "Shit Isabelle..."

I frown and sigh. "Adam, please don't let them find me..." I whisper. "Don't let them hurt me."

"I'm not going to let anyone ever hurt you again, Isabelle. I promise you no harm will come your way as long as I'm around."

"Promise?"

"Believe me when I say this, Isabelle, I never break my promises..."