AUTHORS NOTE: I am really sorry I haven't been writing more chapters. This week I am taking way too many test and it's hard to study and write chapters (it takes me a long time to edit and write upcoming chapters). But my winter break is in a couple days so I will be writing a lot with all the free time. Enjoy this chapter for now!!!

🚨🚨this chapter involves rape and if you are uncomfortable with that topic, do not read the section that is written in italic font.

"She did WHAT?" Grace asked angrily, clenching the french fry in her hand till it was completely smushed.

It has been a week since my unfortunate in counter with Heather and Derek. I couldn't tell Ryder about what happened and I didn't want to. So the only person I can trust at the moment is Grace, who seems to be taking this a little too extremely. Maybe telling her this at a resturant wasn't a great idea considering the fact that people around us are glaring at Grace's loud yelling.

"Relax, Grace. It's not that big of a–''

"Yes it is a big deal, Autumn!! You don't understand. If Heather threatens you in any way, you should be careful...she's dangerous."

So am I. I'm dangerous because I know how to survive. I've been through and still am going through tramatic events. Of all the things, how could Heather do damage?

I rolled my eyes, "why are you all so afraid of her? She needs to be put in her place."

Grace leaned in so no one around us could hear. "Please just be careful, ok? There must be some sort of chemical in Heather's brain because she's done some terrible things to people."

I rested my head in my palm. "Hmmm let me think. Maybe somethings wrong that no one knows about and the only way for her to cope is by being mean to others?"

Grace shrugged and popped a french fry into her mouth. "I dunno," she mumbled as she chewed.

As we sat quietly for a few minutes, I couldn't help but think about what Grace said. Should I really challenge Heather or be careful (as Grace recommended) and stay away from her? What if Heather continues to bully and torment me? What should I do? Should I just stand idolly by and let her or should I stand up for myself by making sure she doesn't test me again?

She might even be planning her next move now! Like what if she's—

Her phone. The picture of my arms.

My eyes widened. I need to get ahold of that phone.

"Grace? Do you know where Heather lives?"

"27 Arch Avenue." she replied almost instantly.

My mouth dropped in suprise, "woah. How did you know that address like you have been memorizing it forever?"

"One time I had to drop her off at her house. Don't ask why I'm not in the mood to explain the whole scenario."

When she turned away, I quickly unlocked my phone and typed the address into my notes so I wouldn't forget it.

The plan I've already made up might get me into a bigger fued with Heather or might actually save me. Just depends if it works or not.

"So," Grace changed the subject, "Halloween is in two days and you're coming with me and the girls to a party. No if's, and's, or but's because you're coming even if I have to force you."

My body shivered at the word 'party'.

I can't go to a party. Not now, not ever. Especially because of what happened last time...

Gulping nervously, I scratched the back of my neck, "maybe you should go without me, I don't even have a costume and–''

She waved her hand, "don't worry girl, I already bought you a costume. Before the party you will come to my house and we will get ready together, sounds good?"

"Grace–''

She put her pointer finger on my lips and shushed me. "You are going. Please Autumn it would mean so much if you went."

Even though every atom in my body was telling me no, I sighed, giving in to her puppy eyes. "Ok fine I'll go."

The smile that formed on her lips was enough to make me happy. "Thank you Autumn!" She looked at her watch and her eyes widened, "shit! I have to go babysit my neighboors kids. I'll see you at school tomorrow!" She winked and rushed off.

I rested my face in my hands and groaned. Why did I agree?

***

I sat down on the bottom step of the long staircase. I squinted my eyes tightly shut and massaged circles with my fingers on my temples.

I shouldn't of drank all that alcohol. My headache became worse but the pain in my stomach lessened. I didn't have to throw up at all which is the only good thing so far.

The music was booming in every corner of the house. People on the dance floor were dancing and grinding all over eachother. Others drank in the living room and some were smoking or playing beer pong outside. This house is massive but with all the people in it, it seemed very tiny.

As I looked around I realized that parties aren't even that great. My head throbbed even more as people began to scream and chant along with the music.

I need to find my boyfriend. I need to find L–

"Autumn? What are you doing sitting here alone?" A familiar voice asked.

Lifting my head up, I sighed in relief.

My boyfriend stood in front of me with a questioning look on his face.

Gathering all the strength I could, I stood up and lunged myself into his arms. "L-luke *hiccup* can we leave *hiccup* please? My stomach hurts and my head–''

"Woah woah woah," he chuckled, "are you drunk?"

I hiccuped a 'yes' and closed my eyes as he held onto me tightly.

Luke easily picked me up bridal style. "Don't worry, I got you."

He started walking to what I thought was his car but as I opened my eyes, I was thrown onto a bed. The music wasn't as loud in this bedroom so I assumed we were on the second floor.

"Luke I dont want to rest I just want to go home," I told him but he didn't seem to hear me.

Without responding, he closed to the bedroom door and locked it. When he turned around to face me, his eyes held lust that even sober me would think is scary when he possessed it.

He slowly but dangerously stalked towards me like he had just found his prey.

I am the steak and he is the famoushed lion.

The sober me would have been able to figure out what he was doing in an instant but drunk me couldn't quite solve it as fast. "L-lukey? What are you...doing?"

Carefully, I crawled farther and farther back onto the bed until my back hit the fancy headboard.

He got on the bed and crawled on all fours towards me. The way he was acting scared me. I know he wasn't drunk because during the party, he never once had a drink in his hand.

In a swift moment, he got on top of me and pinned my arms above my head. His nails dug into my wrist and I shut my eyes tightly in pain.

"Luke please whatever you're going to do, p-please don't. You're scaring me."

His left hand wrapped around both of my small wrist and his right hand started to unbutton my shirt. "Shut the hell up Autumn. If you say another word I will slap you."

My eyes widened in fear as he finally finished unbuttoning my shirt. He yanked it off, exposing my black lace bra. After staring hungrily at my chest for a couple seconds he tossed his shirt to the floor as well.

We have never done stuff like this because I wasn't ready. Obviously he was due to the fact that whenever we went on dates, he constantly would beg me to have sex with him and said that all couples do it no matter how long they have been together. No matter how hard it was to resist his pleads sometimes, I always said no. Who could blame me? I wasn't ready to have sex with him and he was supposed to respect that. The only thing I've ever done was kiss and that was never good enough for him.

His ice-cold finger tips grazed my stomach creating goosebumps, making me shiver. As he moved his hand down to unbutton my skirt, my breathing quickened in panic.

My breathing stopped for a second when I realized something. Even though I was drunk, I still knew he was doing this because he knew that sober me would never agree. He brought me to this party only to get me drunk so he could have sex with me.

He's going to rape me.

I squirmed under his grasp and when he noticed my sudden urge to free myself, he slapped my face with tremendous strength.

I bit my lip in order to stop the sobs as the pain stung my cheek.

He grabbed me by the neck with both hands and I tried gasping for air. "You will not disobey me! If you do so much as squirm again you better believe I will hurt you even harder."

He let go of my neck and slipped my skirt down my legs and threw them onto the floor. The drunk side of me couldn't break free and all I could do was obey and stay still.

I felt so weak. So terribly weak.

Luke knew I was a virgin but he obviously never cared as he stuck his hand in his jean pocket and pulled out a condom.

As he pulled his pants down, I rubbed my eyes and wiped away any tears visible on my face.

I gulped at how big he was. This was going to hurt; especially for a virgin which I am. But there was nothing I could do.

Nobody was coming to help me because nobody knew. Not a single soul dancing in the bodies of drunk teens in this household knew what was about to happen to me.

He held the condom wrapper with his teeth because his hands were too occupied with unclasping my bra and removing my black lace panties.

All of me was exposed to him and all of him was exposed to me. I imagined my first time to be magical and the best night of my life.

But this, this is definetly the worst night of my life.

Once finished undressing me, he ripped open the condom rapper and put the condom on himself.

"Is this going to h-hurt?" I whispered in fear as he spread my legs open so he had full access to my entrance.

He evily laughed, "ofcourse you dumb bitch." Luke looked into my eyes and smirked, "well for you at least."

I wanted to say 'if you love me, then please do not hurt me'.

But that's he thing: he never loved me. No matter how many times Luke told me he did, truth was he never actually meant it. This boy that I've been so loyal to for the passed six months has never been the boy I always thought he was.

I always thought he was the sweet little lamb that everyone loved but now as I look into his terrifying eyes, I understand he is really the murderous, deadly lion that everyone fears.

Before I could prepare myself, he shoved his member all the way inside of me.

The screams that came out of me are screams louder than any banshees' voice. I screamed bloody murder at the pain of him forcing his member into me. He didn't even let me adjust to his size as he already started pumping in and out of me hard. My body was shaking violently with every painful thrust.

I opened my mouth to shriek again but his hand immediately covered my lips with force. The cries and yells were mumbled under his hold but it didn't matter; no matter how loud I screamed, no one would hear. The music was too loud and the house was way too big for anyone downstairs or even upstairs to hear. I bit down on my lip so hard to prevent more cries that I caused blood. Since I was laying down, all the drops blood from my lip would slip into my mouth.

My tastebuds shuddered at the metallic taste. I needed water and I needed to get away from this monster that I call my boyfriend.

His moans of pleasure were mixed with the sound of my muffled cries. His thrust became sloppy as he reached his climax and he collapsed on top of me. I found it hard to breath as his 160lbs body laid on top of my 115lbs body.

After a few minutes he took the condom off, tied it, and threw it into the trash can in the bathroom that was inside the large bedroom we were in. Luke got off the bed, picked up his clothes, and put them on.

Luke started walking towards the door, but before he opened it he looked at me with cold, heartless eyes. "You will never tell a soul about this or you are dead. I'm leaving, you can walk home or do whatever the fuck you want I don't really care."

He closed the door behind him, leaving me alone. I can't believe I trusted him with all my heart. The boy I've been dating is really a devil...a monster.

My body trembled, my heart was pounding at an alarming rate and my insides hurt like absolute hell, especially down where he tortured me the most. There was blood coming out of my womanhood from the pain it had to go through, and it hurt to even stand up. My legs wobbled as I put on my clothes.

Remember earlier how I said I didn't need to throw up at all? Forget I ever said that because after what just happened, I puked my guts out in the bathroom.

My weak arms tried to haul me up from the bathroom floor, and when I finally was able to stand up, I looked at myself in the mirror.

My hair was a tangled mess, the life was drained out of my skin which made me look like a ghost, my swollen eyes were puffy and red from crying, my bottom lip stained dark red from the blood, and my cheeks were bruised.

The happy girl with hardworking parents, many friends, a boyfriend, good grades, beautiful looks, and a great life was not the girl I saw looking back at me in the mirror. That girl that I used to be is gone somewhere floating around in the void of the forgotten.

The girl I see in the mirror now is a betrayed, damaged, terrified, scarred, defenseless, weak, broken, lonely woman.

My legs were sore from Luke's pounding and all I wanted to do was fall to the floor but I stood tall.

Tears fell down my cheeks, so my shaky hands tried wiping them away. I will never be the same girl again. Not after this.

I want to die. This — what Luke did — has ruined me.

I am broken.

I can't believe I was so stupid to trust him, so blind by his fake affection for me. When there were no more tears left for me to cry, I screamed at the top of my lungs with anger, sadness, pain, and horror.

All I can do is scream.

My eyes fling open as I sit up from my laying position. I gasp for oxygen. Sweat drips down my forehead from the terrible nightmare I just had. That nightmare really did happen to me. There was pain inbetween my legs that made it feel like the rape happened not long ago.

I looked over to my right at the alarm clock on my nightstand. The alarm clock read 4:08am. I only had about two and a half hours until school.

Closing my eyes, I inhaled a few deep breaths and exhaled. Taking a few swigs of water, I repeadtly mumbled "it was just a dream."

I hardly dreamed about that night, but I think the thought of going to some Halloween party in a few days is what trigged me to dream about it.

I can't have something like that ever happen to me again. Never again.

Turning over to lay on my stomach, I buried my face into my pillow, trying to calm my breathing. Even after drinking water, my throat felt dry and hurts. My voice was shaky from the sobs and screams from my nightmares. I guess I was screaming out loud.

Unexpectedly, my phone started to ring so I picked it up. "H-hello?" I answered as best as possible but my voice came out wrecked.

"Autumn?" Ryder's sweet voice replied from my phone. "Are you okay? I could hear you screaming from my house."

So I guess I was screaming really loudly...oops.

"I knocked on your front door for thirty minutes but no one answered."

My heart fluttered. "It's fine Ryder I'm okay, really."

My breathing became even again as I heard his lovely voice. It made me feel so much better.

He was quiet for a moment, so I listened to his breathing. Is that creepy- listening to his breaths?

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked with a voice full of worry.

I smiled to myself. No one has ever asked me if I was okay in such a way Ryder does. "Yes I'm okay Ryder. You should really get some rest."

"I only sleep about 2-3 hours a night anyways so I've gotten all the rest I need."

2-3 hours? How is he so awake from getting so little sleep? Even if I sleep for 10 hours I am a total wreck.

There was a moment of silence until he broke it. "Can I come over, you know just to see if you're good?"

"No!" I said instantly, remembering my dad downstairs whose probably passed out on the couch. "Sorry if I said that rudely but my..." I didn't want to say the word 'father' because I could never call him that. "My uhh f-father is sleeping. He would get mad if you came over." I wanted to gag at how disgusting it was to call Michael my father. Gross.

"Overprotective dad, huh?" Ryder asked.

"Um no not at all. He's just...mean. Really mean."

"Oh..." he trailed off, not knowing what else to say. "So when do you wanna go to the animal shelter?"

I pretended to yawn, "Ryder it's four in the fricken morning. Can we please talk about this some other time?"

He laughed. "Fair enough. See you at school, princess."

Turning off my cell phone, I crawled back into bed with a frown on my face. Not from Ryder, but from my horrible nightmare. What if I get raped at the halloween party like I did at that party a long time ago?

My final thought before I fell asleep was that I can't go to that party.

I just can't.