I sit in Vidar's office, waiting for Hacker to find something, anything to help us find her. I sit and try desperately to quench the burning rage that fires through my veins like I have everyday for the two months since he took her.

The bastard has been clever, he clearly had links in the police as every discernible piece of information on him has been wiped from existence.

It was as if he never existed, like she was gone. Lost to me forever.

"Come on bror, please. Have a drink with me." Viper begs me to come down to the bar, he tugs at my leather jacket and I snarl at him to fuck off.

I flinch after the words leave my mouth. "Shit I'm sorry bror, I-I didn't mean that."

He sighs softly and takes the chair beside me, Vidar and Hacker left about an hour ago. I haven't been able to move just yet. I'm consumed by the fear of what Elle is going could be going through at this very moment.

My fault. My fault. My fault.

"I know you didn't mean it bror, I get it. But right now you need a drink to get you through this."

I nod and reluctantly stand from the chair, my legs feel as heavy as my heart as I stagger from the clubhouse office, Viper following close behind.

The bar is packed with members and prospects flushed with the early evening buzz of alcohol and excitement. I see Astrid and Vidar sitting in a booth, one baby each. I pry my eyes away from the sight of them, happy together. The whole club is tense despite the alcohol. Most are worried about me, the ones who knew Elle are frightened for her.

I slide into the booth beside Bolt, he acknowledges me with a brief, curt nod before offering me the bottle of whiskey he'a downing. The way he does every night.

Gladly, I take it and drink down a long gulp. It's numbing and agonising at the same time. I miss Elle. I miss her like I never knew I could miss something. It hurts like I never knew hurt could hurt.

Bolt and I sit in companionable silence until we have collectively downed three bottles. My head thuds with alcohol and heat so I lay my forehead on the cool, slightly sticky table.

There's a gentle, feminine tapping on my shoulder, I sit up and look over at Astrid. I smile as much as I can manage. "Hey girlie, you ok?"

Her lips purse and she sighs deeply. "I'm so sorry Mouse, I really am. We'll find her." I shift along the leather bench of the booth and Bolt grumbles in frustration before clambering over the table to escape my closer presence. It's probably for the best, a sober Bolt is unpredictable and dangerous meaning drunk one is a force to behold.

Astrid slides in beside me and hands me baby Eira, who I didn't even notice she was holding. Before I met Elle time travelled at a different time, Liam somehow turned a year old and is now few months past that. Eira was coming in on four months now, it's terrifying how fast my little niece and nephew are growing up.

I rock little Eira in my arms, cradling her close to my chest, careful to tuck her little cheek under my cut so the zip doesn't scratch at her soft skin. Astrid leans her head and rests it on my shoulder.

"I'll be alright little sis, we'll find her."

"I know but it still must be hard."

I swallow hard and admit how I'm feeling. "I love her so much, I'm not sure how much longer I can be without her..."

My voice breaks and crackles, I desperately try to hide the tear that escapes me and cascades down my cheek. Astrid, of course, notices almost immediately and puts her arm around me.

Looking down, I notice my tears have dropped onto Eira's fluff covered head. I chuckle lightly through the pain and brush her hair into a funny looking Mohawk.

Vidar walks by, obviously looking for his wife and daughter. He misses us initially before healing one of Eira's adorable little burbles. His head whips around to us with predatory speed, I see in that very moment just how protective of his family my president is.

He walks back over to us and smiles slightly before offering his hand to Astrid. She takes it eagerly and he pulls her up and against his chest. They almost go in for a kiss, but they seem to remember me and my current situation so they stop and pull back. I wouldn't have minded if they hadn't. I'm just pleased my little sister is so happy, safe and in love.

Standing from my seat, I place a kiss on each of Eira's chubby cheeks and send Astrid a warm smile.

"Thank you for sitting with me little sis."

"Any time big bro," it's a nickname she's trying out for me, I love it because it makes us sound united, "if you ever want to come round instead of being in that room all day, you can."

I nod and swallow my sobs as I walk towards the bar, searching for more to drink.

My fault. It's my fault. All my fault.

Grabbing the nearest bottle, I practically tear the lid from the glass. I'm ready for another morning waking up remembering nothing, not even the cold space beside me where Elle should be. But, just as the rim of the bottle touches my lips Hacker bursts through the door. Causing everyone to look to him.

He stands panting and joyous, a triumphant grin spread over his face.

"I've found her."