"It's okay, she's gone. It's only me."

Theo's hug was the only thing keeping me in one piece. I let myself melt into his embrace, with his hand keeping my head held to his chest.

He's so worried about me, and I think he's blaming himself, but I know it's not his fault.

*

I closed my bedroom door behind me, stripping completely while I tried to think about anything but that. My hands travelled across my sore body, from spots that Matt touched. I almost threw up just thinking about it. It's all I can think about right now. I was actually into it, I took off my clothes willingly. He wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for the vibration of my phone, and I wouldn't have even known about the bet if it wasn't for Theo.

I grabbed towels and made my way to the bathroom, turning on the water in the shower. I only know of one way to ignore Matt. I need to get him out of my system.

I stood under the steaming water, letting it soak my hair and body. I ran shampoo across my scalp, thinking about nothing but Theodore. His hair... his eyes... his lips... what he did with his lips. I just thought about him.

My back pressed against the wall and I slid my hands down my body, cupped and squeezing my breasts. My mind ran in circles, recalling everything I've done with Theo. The late nights and early mornings...

The water from the shower mixed my wetness helped my fingers slip into my body with ease.

I stroked carefully against my walls, mimicking the way Theo did it, but it wasn't the same. I closed my eyes, picturing him in front of me, holding me down with his hands on my breasts and his thick fingers in my body.

Another one of my fingers slipped into my loosened hole, finally giving me pleasure. I let a moan escape my lips, knowing the noise from the shower will mask them.

I pinched my nipples, hoping it will give me something more. My climax slowly grew but I knew it would never be enough.

My thumb reached to circle my clit, making my body tingle. Picturing Theo's tongue, licking and sucking on my bead helped with the process.

My back slipped against the wall while my legs grew weaker, making me drop to the floor, sitting in a puddle with I carried on with my pulses.

I hit my g-spot, arching my back off the wall. My wet hair fell over my face and for a second I thought I heard Theo's voice saying my name. "Theo..." I huffed, rocking my body in hope that it will bring my climax.

My hand played with my breasts and my fingers carried on pleasing my cunt, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't finish. The thought of him isn't enough for me. I need him.

I accepted defeat, pulling my fingers from my body and rinsing myself off properly.

I turned off the shower, squeezing the water out of my hair. While I was patting myself dry I heard a few knocks on the door. "Camila?"

My back was turned to the door when I heard it open.

"Sorry." Theo turned away, staying leant against the doorframe.

"It's okay." I smirked, wrapping the towel around my body. His hand stayed blocking his eyes, but mine travelled straight to the apparent bulge in his school trousers. How long was he stood there for? Was he listening?

"I was just- I didn't know what you were doing so..."

"You can look." I giggled, picking up my hairbrush and keeping my eyes in the mirror, so he doesn't know I know. "I just needed to get him out of my system."

"And did you?"

"Almost."

He didn't take his eyes off me, not once. I could see him leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed, watching me like a hawk with eager eyes.

"Am I on suicide watch or...?"

"No- sorry. I'll let you finish. Should I make food?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

"Sure."

*

I heard my name being called as I was wrapping my hair up. It was frizzy from the hairdryer but hopefully twisting it in a bun will tame it.

"Coming. Thank you."

"No problem."

"I still have some of your clothes I stole if you want to get changed? They're clean." I sat down at the table, eying the meal he cooked us. I didn't realise how hungry I actually was.

"Yeah, thanks."

I hated how silent we were. Was it because of earlier or because he just heard me masturbating?

"Who told you?" I asked, not looking at his face. "-About Matt."

"I saw a notification on Joey's phone."

"What did it say?"

"Cam-"

"Theo." I gave him a stern look. He can't not tell me the full story, I need to know.

"He texted Joey to say he was taking you to his place, and joked about giving Joey his venmo. He had a video too, of when he kissed you, and Joey gave him twenty bucks for it."

"Twenty bucks? That's all my virginity was worth?"

I watched his face drop. His face was almost white and his jaw was clenched.

"Camila, did he-"

"No, no. He didn't. I just meant if he did..."

"Oh." He exhaled, relaxing his firmness a bit.

I left the table, cleaning up after myself to avoid anymore conversation. He told me what happened after the game and now I need to tell him.

I left the room, knowing he'd follow me. My feet pat off the stairs and I tiredly threw myself in the bed. I squeezed my pillow to my chest while I began to tell the story.

"We left school early because we were skipping class anyways, so we may as well have done something worth while."

We both lay down, and my body jolted when he placed a hand on the sore, almost bruised spot. "Sorry."

"No, its fine." I moved his hand back, resting my fingers on top of his. "He took me to the coffee shop, the same one we've gone to a few times. It was busy so he ran inside and got us hot chocolate-"

I bit my tongue, knowing I should've left that part out.

"I thought hot chocolate was our thing?" He muttered, but I could hear the sadness behind it.

"It is." I squeezed his hand, looking at him but he wasn't looking at me. "I think he knew that, and that's why he did it. A lot of what he did was to get between us, remember?"

He stayed silent waiting for me to carry on. "It was too busy to sit in so he suggested that we'd go to his house. He wanted me to help him study history, so I stupidly agreed."

"You didn't know-"

"We went to his room to study, and he acted like he needed help, even though I now know he's good at history. He wanted to play a game to help him remember the answers, and for some dumb reason I agreed to play truth, dare or strip."

He shuffled slightly, but didn't make any comment.

"I didn't think it would lead to anything and I thought that if it did, I could just say no. At first it was just truths, it wasn't anything bad, he just asked why I came and I asked why he invited me. He took off his shirt but I didn't want to strip off so I took off my underwear."

"I dared him to show me his phone unlocked, which now, makes a lot more sense as to why he stripped. He asked if I was a virgin and I knew things had escalated. I ended up taking off my shirt. He never saw me naked, and he wasn't going it. I didn't want him to. Then he dared me to kiss him but I didn't, and then he kissed me."

My voice cracked at the last part, making him look more concerned.

"He was on top of me and I kept telling him no, and that I didn't want it, but I couldn't push him off-"

Theo reached his arm across me, pulling my head to lay on his chest. I cuddled onto his warm body, sobbing slightly onto his chest while his fingers ran through my hair. "His hand was so close- but my phone buzzed and he stopped, and after I saw your message I ran."

His head rested on mine and his arms tightened around my torso. "Thank you for telling me."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't."

I know he's as mad as I am right now, if not more. "Don't apologise, for anything."

I kept my mouth shut, letting him hold me for what felt like a minute and forever at the same time. "I just feel so stupid. I thought he actually liked me-"

"Don't do that to yourself, Camila. He's an asshole."

"He just wanted my body." I cracked, making him pull my hair so I was looking at him. I glanced at him through my eyelashes, blinking away the tears.

I placed my hands under my chin, propping my head to look up at him.

"Don't ever think that. You're so much more than that, and if a guy doesn't see that, he doesn't deserve you. You're funny, and smart, and caring, and you're my-"

Don't say best friend. Please, don't say best friend.

I waited for a word to follow but he took his time to consider what his next words were going to be. "You're my favourite person in this world. And it fucking kills me knowing what you're going through, because I don't know what I can do to fix it."

My lips turned up into a smile, and his hand moved to cup my cheek. His touch soothed me like ice on a burn, and I ached for him to kiss me. He moved his face closer to mine, and my eyes fell to his lips. "You're my favourite person too."

Instead of colliding our lips, he rested his forehead on mine.

"How about I get changed and we watch a movie or something?" I could feel his breath on my lips and all it would take is a second to close the gap...

But neither of us did.

"Yeah."