The atmosphere is suffocating with tension and awkwardness only for me I guess because everyone seemed relaxed.

"No problem dear," Mr colt says with a smile that is so unusual coming from him.

We ate in silence. Well, I ate in silence feeling out of place being here, the food passing through my throat felt like stones almost bringing tears into my eyes, but I forced myself in taking every bite of the food even with my appetite gone.

Everyone shared dialogue with ease around me while putting in short words when needed.

This went on for a few minutes before Mr colt clears his voice gaining our attention with a smile full of pride on his lips" Chance and Sam's engagement party would be one week from now" he announces glancing at Chance and Sam with the same smile filled with pride glowing on his countenance.

"I feel the need to notify you, his friends since you all are like family to Chance," he says staring at everyone before his eyes lock with mine for a few minutes.

It's ironic how the heart can still get hurt by something you've seen coming and right now it feels difficult seating here when what I need is to close my eyes and forget my reality even for a few seconds.

I blink back the glimmer of tears in my eyes uncomfortable with the sympathetic looks I am currently receiving from Mum Elaina, Emma, Damien, and Louis.

Not being able to take it anymore I pull my chair back before clearing my voice from cracking when I speak " please excuse me I need to use the lavatory " I say before leaving towards the guests' bathroom.

I know it seems pathetic leaving in that manner but I need closure to calm my raging emotion before I bust out crying in front of everyone.

Pushing the bathroom door open I stepped in walking towards the sink staring into the mirror.

Maybe it still hurts because I had hoped there was a chance he still loves me even if it means ending the engagement but my hope came crashing down knowing his father is in support without acknowledging me being pregnant for his son.

Chance always heeds to his father meaning if his father is in support then I am fighting a lost battle, but my heart kept nagging me to hold on but then my mind seems to be the logical one.

I took a deep relaxing breath still staring into the mirror "so what happens from here?" I ask the question taunting me but receiving silence in reply.

I splash little water on my face before removing my makeup because I don't need to look pretty on a good day gone bad.

I breathe in to calm myself before leaving, taking my time walking through the hallway.

"Shiloh" Mr. Colt's voice calls walking towards me with a hard stare directed my way making me stop on my step.

He was dressed in his usual business clothes making him look intimidating.

I wipe my sweaty palm on my gown trying not to seem apprehensive when all I feel is running from here never to return" yes Mr. Colt" I say patting my back mentally for speaking confidently.

"Come with me," he instructs walking towards the stairs which lead to his office.

I walk fast to keep up with his long strides before he pushes the door walking into his vast office, and decorated with the best furniture.

I took a seat across from him, my heart thumping so loudly, I won't be surprised if he could hear it.

"I can see you are pregnant for my son, " he says locking his hands together on the table " but you see I have many plans laid down for Chance after he graduates this year," he says calmly but his words had hidden motives.

"And you think I am an obstacle to those plans," I say fighting back the urge to roll my eyes.

The Almighty Mr.Colt thinks I am an obstacle to his plans this means my life just became a rollercoaster.

A smile appears on his face almost making me creep out of his office not because I am weak but this means what is coming next won't be good " I don't think, I know so..." He says pulling the drawer of his desk open before bringing out a huge envelope " Take this" he says pushing the envelope towards me.

I stare at him confused" that a huge amount of money, take it, take care of yourself and the baby and leave Chance house and his life "

I stare at him in bewilderment and anger, how can he even bring himself asking me to live with my friends and family" sorry sir I can't take this but I promise you not to interfere in Chance life or force this child on him because Chance already made that clear"I say calmly before standing to leave this office and this house.

"Before you go remember Chance has a bright future ahead together with Sam by his side and the fact that they are both in love comes as a bonus and I was just helping you gain something from all this, " he says before I walk out of the room not ready to hear more heart pricing words.

Do you ever see or hear something that hurts so much, you can feel your heart shatter?. But guess what, that is how exactly I feel right now.

I trudge down the steps towards the dining room but no one was in there except for a few maids doing the clean up" excuse me where is everyone?" I ask gaining the attention of one of the maids.

"They are in the living room" I thanked her before leaving going towards the living room where laughter and voices could be heard. I felt like the biggest fool on planet earth.

I walk in gaining everyone's attention " are you alright because you look so pale ?" Emma asks worriedly.

I place myself beside her" yeah just allergies" I say acting nonchalant.

"I would like to take my leave now," I say glancing at Emma with pleading eyes before glancing at Mum Elaina who was already glancing my way with a smile on my lip.

"We should be going since it getting late," Emma whispers.

"Alright, thanks for coming for dinner, " Mum Elaina says.

I, Emma, Damien, and Louis hug her goodbye before making our way outside with Chance and Sam escorting us out.

Before getting into Louis's car I stare at Chance and Sam with a genuine smile on my lips or what I think looks genuine " I'm happy for you" I say hugging both of them before leaving the property in Louis's car.

That was the hardest lie to ever tell when your old love found someone new.

The ride was silent which I am grateful for I don't feel like saying anything because I might just bust out in tears.

Immediately the car came to a stop I step out hastily wanting to reach my safe heaven called my room but before I could escape Emma called me back since she and Damien arrived here before us.

"Shiloh I am not letting go without you telling me what is going on," she says holding her ground with her hands crossed over her chest.

Damien and Louis left towards their room leaving us in silence " I am just tired needing some rest and alone time" I say calmly as possible.

" for goodness sake stop acting complaisant and impervious," she cries out in frustration.

I regard her in silence for a few seconds before speaking once again calmly" just drop this and let's just go to bed"

"Shiloh, what am I to you?" She asks but before I could answer she continues" I'm your friend, no I'm your sister who is ready to hear you out and wipe your tears" she says lowly looking hurt and mostly angry.

"Okay what do you want me to tell you, that I am tired, frustrated," I say tears rolling down my cheeks" do you what to hear how much I hate this child because this thing here took everything from me, my father, my mother, my only sister and it took away Chance"I yell making hand gestures to make my point.

"I miss my mum and Sylvia so much. I can't help but think maybe if I didn't make this mistake maybe then I would be at home right now with my family maybe Chance would never love someone else or even be getting married but only to me" I say with tears rolling down my cheek freely.

Emma stared at me not knowing what to say and to be honest I don't know what I would tell myself" Emma, he is no longer in love with me"

She took my hands in hers giving it a tight squeeze " real feelings don't go away" she says softly.

"Maybe his feelings for me weren't real," I say taking my hands from hers "I feel like I'm waiting for something that isn't going to happen," I say wiping my tears away.

"I guess we'll never know how good it could've been, "I say leaving towards my room, and thank goodness she didn't stop me this time.

I don't think people understand how stressful it is to explain what's going on in your head when you don't even understand it yourself.

I plug my phone into the little speaker in my room before stripping off my dress into my pajamas.

A song by Camila Cabello, crying in the club blast through the speaker filling the silence of the room.

I can't get drunk with alcohol to forget my pain but music can keep my mind from thinking.

I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling lost in my web of thought " no more tears because I didn't lose him. He lost me" I say finding confidence in those words.

I place my hand in my belly remembering my hurtful words " Mummy isn't angry with you okay, I didn't mean any of those words"I say rubbing my belly.

"I will never be ashamed of you because even though I lost everything I still got you to love, "I say with a smile as the music plays.

If this is my ending it is still a happy ending because no one will love me the way you will. You only are the one who knows how my heartbeat feels from within.