"I feel this is unnecessary." I admit out loud while sitting against the wall on the floor, "I'm an adult, I can stay home b-by myself." My voice turns into a whisper.

It's only been a couple hours after Esther had left. Yes, I cried for a while. Yes, it was extremely embarrassing but unavoidable. Sometimes I can't control the tears. I cried to the point where Klein gave me two Xanax, even though he wasn't supposed to.

Within 15 minutes, I calmed down.

"I don't want you by yourself, Lillian." He sits on the couch a few feet away, "Come sit on the couch."

I wiggle my toes in my hotdog socks that reach mid calf. Standing up, I pat my feet over to the couch and plop down awkwardly around 5 feet away from him.

He looks at me and sighs to himself, "I have some paperwork for you to complete in the morning while I go to the office. I wanted today to be a rest day for you."

"Once again, I'm so sorry for making you cut the ball short." I look down as he grabs the remote to put on a movie. The Xanax is making my head feel a little woozy, as usual.

I feel the couch slightly move, but I don't look up. The view of his legs appear in my sight, and stop right in front of me.

Klein lightly grabs my face and forces me to look up at him. We stay there for a second. Me sitting criss cross on the couch, and him standing in front of me, his head craned down.

"Stop apologizing." He clenched his jaw.

I nod and try to look down again.

He lightly yanks my head back up to him, "And use your words, please. Haven't I told you this?"

"Okay." I bite my lip with pressure, due to excitement and nervousness.

His eyes scan my face and rest on the view of my lips. He brings his large thumb up and releases my bottom lip from the teeth.

Klein seems to ponder in thought while looking at me. Almost as if he is holding something back with high extremity.

"Too early." He whispers to himself and sits down directly next to me.

No, like, directly. Directly next to me. Our legs are touching.

He begins to scroll for a movie again and I stay frozen. My head slowly turns to look at him. I've never really had anyone like this in my life. The tension could kill me at any moment.

"Just relax." Klein continues to look at the TV.

Unsure of what to do, I nod.

Immediately after nodding, I use my words, "Yes, sir."

He puts down the remote and inhales sharply, "You can't say that right now." I watch as he closes his eyes.

Unsure of what to do, I lay back on the couch directly next to him and unconsciously snuggle into his side, "Say what?" I pause, "Sir?"

He looks at me, his eyes switching from my eyes to my lips, back and forth, "God, fuck it." Klein says with urgency.

Klein immediately grabs my thigh farthest from him and swings it over his legs. A yelp escapes my mouth and I grip onto his shoulders as I am now straddling him.

"Klein?"

He tangles one hand in my hair and wraps the other around my waist. Immediately, I feel a pooling in my underwear. I try to close my legs, but his thighs are in the way.

He pulls my head closer to his with the grip in my hair, "Do you know how badly I want to kiss you? Pleasure you? Teach you everything you don't know?"

I feel an extremely hard, large object beneath me as my core rests on top of his very private area.

My eyes go wide.

He tilts my head back and exposes my neck, "It's driving me crazy, Lillian."

"I've never kissed anyone before, Klein. I don't know if the experience would be pleasurable for you." I heavily breathe out, feeling extremely tingly all over.

He very lightly laughs at my naivety.

Why am I feeling like this?

He pulls my waist flush to his torso. The room is dark and the TV shines a blue light on the back of my figure.

He rests his forehead just above my chest, "God damn it. I couldn't even hold myself to my own word. I said wouldn't touch you unless you asked-"

"Actually," I pause, "Kiss me, Klein." I say without thinking, "I think I'm ready."

He doesn't move his head from my chest. Instead, he slightly shakes his head in disagreement.

We sit there for a few moments, I could feel my heart sinking deeper and deeper inside my body. God, why did I say that?

"I mean-" I begin.

"I can't." He finally says in the silence.

"Why?" I question while sitting back on his lap.

He looks me in the eyes, "Lillian, I don't want to make you feel forced."

My mouth goes wide, but I have nothing to say. There's no thoughts in my brain, that's usually how the medication works.

He lightly lifts me up from the couch, stands up, and places me on the floor with ease, "Get to bed." Klein sighs.

I stand there for a second, before nodding and turning around. For some reason, I don't feel embarrassed. I don't feel regretful. I just feel tired. Really tired.

Maybe I should've told him that my typical dose was only one pill and not two.

I make my way towards the hallway where the room was without looking back. Klein stood there with his hands fisted, but silent.

I reach my hand up to my lips for a moment, wondering how it would've felt to press them aggressively against his. How it would feel to kiss another just as I've seen in TV shows and movies.

The process seems bizarre, but every time I imagine doing it with him, I feel all weird inside.

I press my lips in a straight line and walk into the hallway while rubbing one of my eyes.

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