Hugh was quiet the next morning- not the casual kind of reservation he was usually enveloped in, but a pregnant, anger filled silence that put his members on edge. He sat at the table, hands clenched into fists and dark hair in disarray. Deadeye sat next to him, coming over earlier that morning to talk with Hugh.

I fell out of bed, pushing up on my legs even though they shook slightly and making my way over to the table.

Ripper jumped up behind me, exhaling sharply when I grunted in protest to him picking me up. "I just want to sit next to dad"

Hugh's eyes snapped up to mine, softening as he gave me a small smile. Ripper helped me over to him, arm around my waist and pushing me along lightly- even though he had just woken up.

"Mornin' " I said as I sat down, leaning back in the chair. Deadeye nodded to me, taking a sip of his coffee before Hugh spoke. "Are you feeling okay?"

I shrugged then winced, a lance of pain spiking through my shoulders and back. "It won't take long for me to be on my feet again at least." Hugh assessed me again before gripping my hand in his. "You nearly gave me a heart attack girly" He beat his chest with his other hand, pain at possibly losing me plain on his face. I teared up immediately, squeezing his hand tighter.

"You won't lose me dad. I'm a trooper" He smiled, wiping his eyes before standing up and announcing he was going to make breakfast. Ripper's hands came around my waist as he kneeled behind the chair, pushing his face into the nape of my neck. I placed my hands on his arms and let myself enjoy the family that I now had.

Deadeye finished his cup of coffee before turning to me, a calculating look on his already hard face. "Where'd you learn to fight like that girl?" His one good eye ticked over, weathered face creasing as he narrowed his eye. "You been fightin' for a long time"

I stiffened slightly before relaxing, knowing Deadeye would be the last person to judge me for a past I was less than proud of. Hugh had turned to me, as had Ripper who was now slightly tense behind my back. I shrugged again, less painful this time, before turning to Deadeye. "Spent a few years in Japan, America and the coast of Brazil. Bianca was taken one time by some racists and beaten to a pulp most days- sometimes I joined in on the fun. One of the more humane gang members taught me to fight on the days I was lucid, and when we broke out of our holdings, I kept on practicing. Sanchez was his name- mean mofo with a wicked right hook, but he taught me to defend myself and to defend others"

I looked to the ceiling, hearing my heartbeat slow down. "I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of to survive, and most of those included beating people who didn't deserve it. Once you do something for long enough, you end up becoming good at it"

The room stayed silent after I finished speaking, the only sound the echo of my voice. Dead eye nodded finally, hand on my shoulder as he stood. "You're strong. Stronger than anyone I've met" And then he left, leaving the room shocked and me tearful again.

Hugh placed a large plate of bacon and eggs in front of me, patting me lightly on the shoulder. "You don't need to fight anymore"

I nodded my thanks, still feeling heavy with memories. "Just because I don't need to, doesn't mean I won't"

There was a dark streak in me, something that revelled in the blood I let from others, enjoyed their cries and grunts of pain as I beat them to a pulp. That was a part of myself I hated- a side I tried to hide. Ripper came and sat by my side and I knew he had heard what I said.

Ripper understood what I meant, and just by the squeeze of his hand over mine, I knew he didn't care.

We were different-but in ways I didn't want to acknowledge- the same.

Bianca was over and driving Beast crazy. Not only was the bullheaded man in love with her, but was also extremely pissed off with her.

Ah, how I have missed her. I watched them volley insults back and forth, Bianca hitting harder and harder with her passive, apathetic tone which only spurred on the furious Greek. Even though I wish I could record it, they were messing with Seamus' concentration- as we were currently playing Tekken Tag Team Tournament. The boy practically lived at our house now, his father actually visiting us when he wanted to see the blonde haired Romeo.

"Suck on my cyborg dick Lilly" Seamus yelled, furiously button mashing his controller. I rolled my eyes and paused the game, turning to the lovers who were now face to face and looking like someone was going to lose his balls.

It wasn't Bianca.

"Shut up, oh my fucking God. I'm trying to beat this piece of trash and show him who's boss"

Seamus scoffed and pushed my shoulder, rolling his eyes at my insult. Bianca let her eyes wander to mine and she nodded imperceptibly, flicking her hand up and walking out the door.

This was not Bianca behaviour.

I chucked my control at Beast who stood and watched her leave, face cracking with a shine of human emotion. "Play against beach boy. Don't crush my controller or lose my winning streak" Jumping up, I ran out of the room and followed the slow walking woman.

When I got to her, she turned before I could touch her. Her eyes were dark and watery, tears so close to spilling over. I immediately held my arms open and we hugged, gathering her small body up in my arms and letting her emotions spill onto my shoulder. She cried silently, small hiccups of pain running down her cheeks.

"I love him Cor. And I don't know what to do"

My arms tightened around her before I leaned back, searching her face. She sighed and wiped her nose on her sleeve, looking out to the road. "One of his old fucks came over yesterday, wanting to 'reminisce' on old times. She was there for a few hours and was just leaving when I turned up at his place." She threw her hands up and exhaled. "And he doesn't even want me to look at my past men. He's always like this, hypocritical and it just makes me...sad."

Bianca usually had that air of frustration about her, but never sadness. And she had gifted her love to that misogynistic prick, and he was seeing other women?

Why hello, you've reached I'm-going-to-kick-your-ass.

I gripped her shoulders and shook her gently, big, black eyes immediately coming to mine. "You are worth much more than that Bianca. You're worth more than the universe. now , you either give that prick and ultimatum and shove his ideals up his ass so you can be happy, or I will deal with that hypocritical prick"

And she knew what I did with men I hated. It involved a knife and castration. Oh, that must be castration. Bianca nodded, jaw clenched then raked a hand through her hair. "I ain't no sad bitch. I'm a mad bitch"

She stalked inside, me on her tail, and folded her arms in the doorway, Beast turning around immediately. She jerked her head, signalling for him to go outside and he got up slowly, warily walking past me as a wicked grin ate my face.

"You're in for it now big boy. Do you like your balls roasted or shoved down your throat?"

Beast glared at me but went a shade paler when he saw the indifference on Bianca's face, her eyes shut in a cold fury.

"What did he do now" Seamus piped, pausing the game from the couch. I sighed, plopping down next to him. "What didn't he do is more the question"

Seamus considered this then shrugged. "He might be VP, but he ain't got much brains if he's doing wrong to that lady"

I scoffed and agreed, taking back my controller. Too much time to waste before Ripper came back from his club business. Too much to think about too.

"Do you think I could get my tattoo tomorrow?"

Startled, I looked to Seamus who was staring at me intensely. "Sure. Come with me to work?"

Seamus nodded and then paused the game, our silence now filled. He clenched his fists together and avoided my eyes. I had never seen the boy look so angry- or nervous.

"The reason I was being beaten by Ripper was because I stole money from the club. A whole lot of money." His cerulean gaze flicked to mine, unrepentant. "It was for my brother who had to pay some debts he had from drugs. He took the money and left, probably lying to me about the reason he needed it"

Seamus was stiff, but I could see the deep hurt in his eyes caused by his brother. Just a teenage boy who had trusted his family- only to have them turn their backs on him. Apart from his father. "He's just like my mother. A liar, a cheater and someone who doesn't care what their actions may do to other people- selfish, gold-digging fuckers, both of them.

My mother cheated on my father with seven different men- and he gave her the world. I gave her the world. And she still didn't want either of us"

A tear slipped out of his eye, angrily brushed away with a grunt. I held my arms open, heart hurting for this old beyond his years teenager. Seamus refused for a moment before relenting, head falling on my shoulder as he fought the tears.

Moments later he lost the battle and cried into my shoulder, hands gripping me harshly as I held him close. "Why can't they love me Cor?" He sobbed, cries loud and heartbroken. Tears fell down my cheeks and I shook my head, rocking him as he sobbed. "Some people don't realize what they have. And even when they do, they take it for granted"

He kept his face on my shoulder, now needing comfort more than anything as he tried to stabilize his breathing. I stroked his head, still pulling him tight near me. He had taken a beating for his brother- knew what stealing that money would mean for him and still did it. I shook my head and pecked his hair.

"My beautiful, beautiful boy" I murmured, leaning back when he straightened, face slightly red and tear streaked. He searched my face for any hint of judgement, looking older than his years. Then he moved away slightly, laying his head on my lap and falling to sleep.

And even though I couldn't replace his brother or mother, I would care for him like no one else would.

Because he was worth it.

_________