𝒜𝒶𝓇𝑜𝓃

I can't breath

My chest feels too tight and my throat is closing up and I'm trying to shout and I can't, I can't stop panting, lashing my arms and trying desperately to breath but the effort is pointless. No one can hear me, no one will ever know im dying, he's going to kill me, I can't, I can't breathe-

"Aaron-Aaron, please, wake up, wake up"

I jerk up immediately as I look around

He's not here Aaron it's alright

I'm heaving in deep harsh, gasping breaths, I can't speak, can't do anything but try to exhale as much as possible, my skin is shaking and I can't steady myself, can't stop replying the memories, can't shake the nightmare, can't stop gasping for air

Jennie's hands suddenly cup my face as the warmth of her skin helps me calm me, and I finally feel my heart rate begin to slow

"Look at me Aaron" she says

I force myself to meet her eyes, shaking as I catch my breath, "Its okay, it was just a bad dream" she whispers still holding my face in her hands

"Try closing your mouth and breathing through your nose, its okay, i'm right here" her voice is so soft, so tender

I can't look away from her eyes, I can't blink, afraid to be pulled back into my nightmare

Closing my eyes, my heart slows to a normal beat, my muscles relax, my hands steady their tremble, I'm suddenly so exhausted, my eyes begin to water

Don't fucking cry Aaron, your not allowed to cry

Looking around I was still in Jennie's room, I must've fell asleep here, I need to leave, she can't see me like this

"Aaron are you alright" she says letting go of my face

"Yea Im fine, I need to go" I reply as I quickly get up and head for the door

"Are you sure, you can talk to me, I mean you don't have to but you can"

"I said I'm fine, um I'm going to go now alright"

Stepping out her door I can feel her gaze on me as I head for the front door

Getting into my car I started the engine as my hands were slightly trembling, I need to get home quickly

I couldn't help but hate myself for letting Jennie see me like that

I just needed to be alone right now

All I want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because it's killing me inside, but I can't

Pulling over in front of my house I spotted a car parked there and a figure in front of my door

Oh my fucking god

I step out the car heading towards my brother wondering why the fuck he's here right now

"The fuck do you want Carl" I say shoving him out of my way as I unlock my door

"Wow I come to check up on you and that's how you treat me" He replies as he comes in locking the door behind him

"I didn't invite you in, and stop acting like you give a shit about me"

"You should be grateful I'm willing to check up on you, I'm pretty sure no one else would want to"

"I don't need anyone, I have myself, and the only reason you come here is for yourself not me, you think coming here will make you a better brother"

"Yeah well you're lucky i'm here, no one in there right mind would after what you did"

"I didn't do shit, now get the fuck out of my house"

"You killed our fucking father, your a godamn monster, be grateful im here!" He says raising his voice higher

Your a monster

"Get out"

"What you don't like admitting to what you did!"

"Get the fuck out!" I say looking away from him

"Admit it! You killed him Aaron, you fucking killed him with no emotion in your face, your crazy!"

"Do you know why I killed him!" I say slamming him into the wall, "You do, don't you, because you watched, You fucking watched what he did to me Carl, he ruined me, he fucking ruined me and you watched it all!" I say again slamming my fist into his face

"Tell me Carl, tell me did he come into your room and do those things to you, huh? I was 6, goddammit I was 6 years old!, he didn't make you watch the things he did to our mom, he didn't fucking lock you in the basement for months, he didn't beat you everytime you cried! You saw it all happen to me, while he went to your football games, he laughed with you, he bought you stuff, he remembered your birthday, he watched movies with you, he showed you off to his friends, but what did he do for me?" I say as my hand is around his throat while tears slowly start falling out my eyes

Stop crying Aaron

"Look Aaro-"

"I'm not gonna say this again Carl , get out!" I yelled, shoving him outside my house and locking the door

I can't stop the tears from falling down my face

"Your a man stop fucking crying" his voice replays in my head

But I can't, I can't, it hurts so fucking much, that agony filled in my chest, I quickly bring my fist slamming it in the wall repeatedly

My hands start bleeding, but these wounds that never show on the body are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds

I need to get away from my mind

Screaming, breaking shit, crying, drugs, drinking, but nothing fucking helps

Nothing

Nothing will remove the damage I̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ my dad did to me

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I really don't know how I feel about this chapter I might edit it but I hope you guys enjoy it I love y'all

Also what do you guys think of Carl?

Make sure to vote loves