"I-I don't understand...I am her? The girl from the crash?" Diávolos was sat on the chair that he brought from my desk to the opposite of my bed. "I-I'm confused." His eyes close, his hands lifts up the top of his mask and he bends his head down as he drags it off. He holds the mask in his hands, my eyes link with the top of his fallen head.

Dark black hair.

He raises his head.

Ares.

Ares is Diávolos.

It could not be. Ares closes his eyes. "It was you...it makes sense, Mr Johnson, you were in the room when I spoke about. Why did you kill him?"

"Because he touched what's mine." I shook my head in disbelief, grabbing onto the headboard.

"How does Cathy not know you? She has been my friend since childhood, and you are twenty-five! And my parents!" Ares did not utter a word, waiting for me to finish. I decided to be silent. And let him explain. I kissed Ares. He made it seem as if he did not know me. "You lied to me this entire time..."

"Firstly, I am twenty. Not twenty-five. Secondly, we kept it a secret from everyone in your family because you are catholic. If your parents found out, you would have never been allowed to see me again. Thirdly, you never trusted Cathy hence the reason we never told her." It made sense, and it fitted in. But I just do not remember anything about him or the accident. "And I did not lie, I just didn't tell you."

"Do my parents know?" I ask, knowing this question would break me into smithereens. Ares stands up and projects his tense body, I look down to the floor.

"They know. They saw me. They threatened me, and they were happy...that you lost your memory. They said it was a gift from god, to remove all you memories of sinning with me."

My own parents lied to me this entire time. They used me having a memory loss to cleanse me from my sins. How could they do such an awful thing? To their own daughter.

No wonder they treat me like a cage rat, this entire time they have been protecting me from becoming the way I used to.

"But I remember seeing you outside my window two years ago, you killed that man. Why? And you had different tattoos?"

I had so many questions stirred up in my mind, and could you blame me? The man I felt chemistry with turned out to be my boyfriend? I was in an accident, one accident costed me to lose my entire memory.

"Because he was taking pictures of you, you were naked." He answers every question i threw at him. I gaze up into his eyes, but he looks away instead of holding contact with me. "And I changed the tattoos each time I was Diavolos, I thought it would bring back your memories. But it seems that the butterfly got to you more...so I got rid of swords."

"Am I a virgin?" Ares taps the front of the chair.

"No." He responds. "I took your virginity." This is getting worse; I stand up from the bed and grab my jaw. I look around my room and then back at Ares who is also stood up. At a clear shot distance from me.

"I can't do this Ares. I am sorry but this is too much for me to handle...way too much. I need space."

"Alexandra...you had a flashback; your memories want to come back. They do...only if you let them." I shake my head; I cannot handle this. I am not strong enough for this. I am weak and brittle.

"I'm sorry Ares, I'm not her...you have to be mistaken because I remember nothing...I have no scars...go. Now. Please." I point to my balcony doors, tears dripping down my eyes. "Just give me some space..." His face falls, he steps forward and I step back.

He nods his head and grabs his jacket from the desk, he shuffles through the pockets and takes out an envelope. He settles it onto my bed.

"Read it when you're ready to remember and... you know where I am if you need me." He makes a leave and allows me to swallow the bundle of tears at my throat. I look at the letter, then back at the open doors.

I needed my best friend.

And she is not there for me.

I needed someone close to me.

I grab onto my heart, feeling it beating constantly as I glance at my desk to see the flat white letter. It could not have been me; I would have- no wonder he felt so similar. His eyes. I knew I saw them a long time ago. I make my way to the desk and lift the letter up, and what feared me the most-

was that fact that handwriting was on the top.

Ares, my secret boyfriend.

I put the letter back onto my desk.

I tried to fall asleep. The numbers on the clock changed and the sun rose.

I was up all night, my eyes were on the darn letter, unable to go to school in the morning, I received messages from Cathy. And one voice note from her, I lift my phone up from the side table and press onto the notification.

"Hey...I-Uh-I am so sorry about yesterday, Ali. I was drunk and my parents are having a divorce and I-I took it out on you. Fuck! I remember everything I said, and I am so sorry. Please answer the phone."

I drop the phone, and stare at the ceiling. Emptiness fulfils my heart; I lift my body up and stare at the unopened letter on my desk. My teeth sink into my bottom lip.

Open it.

No.

Open it, see what he means.

No.

Why? Stop making silly excuses.

No.

I turn away, grab my shoes, and throw on a cardigan that I made sure would cover my stomach. I add it with a pair of baggy joggers to cover my legs. The sun was rising, and I should be sleeping, but no sleep came to me. I had classes in an hour. I pick up the letter and tuck it into my pocket.

I open my balcony doors and my eyes lock with Cathy's. She stared at me with regret, sadness, and guilt. I look away and slip my shoes on, I make my way down the steps and for some reason she tries to catch up with me.

"Ali-"

"Do you feel better?" I question her, stopping.

She looks around, "what?"

"Do you feel better, now that you made me feel insecure? Is that not what you wanted? To put me down." She shakes her head, tears falling from her eyes. I continue walking towards the bus stop and hear her footsteps running after me.

"No! Not at all Ali, please...I was drunk! I needed you and you weren't there." I stopped. People surrounded us.

"Let us not go there Cathy, you weren't there for anything when I needed you. And do you know why? Because you are a self-absorbed, self-centred, and selfish human. You only care about what involves you, nothing else. And until you learn that the world does not revolve around you, then come to me and apologise. But warning, I will never forgive you." My bus stops in front of me, and I swallow the shocked look from her as I step inside.

I never went to class.

I sat in the toilets, staring at my lunch.

'Overweight'

I settle the tray onto the floor and slip the letter out from my pocket, i did not think twice before opening it. And taking the folded paper from the inside out.

I look down.

Dear Ares,

I think I love you; in fact, I have a love-hate relationship with the word itself because I enjoy many things, including museums, art, and pomegranates. I have always used the word to describe a particular fondness for certain things, so you can imagine how strange it feels to say the words "I love you."

I've yet to meet another human being who makes me feel the same way you do, the feeling of having another body consume the entirety of my thoughts. My entire muse is another warm body. It is a feeling I cherish and cherish well. There are no words in the English language that can express how I feel about you...except the words "I love you Ares."

From your one and only, Ali :)

My hands shook, and I had not noticed the tears falling from my eyes and onto the letter.

I unlock my phone and hold it towards my ears, after dialling the number.

"Ali..."

"I read the letter." I whisper, hearing him sigh. "And I want to try Ares, but...on one condition."

"And what's that?"

"If it doesn't work, I want you to leave me alone and forget about me. It will be the end of us."