Chapter 50:

I stood; leaning against the wall with my hands grasped in my hair as my eyes were closed tightly.

I felt an overwhelming surge of emotions; anger, sadness, regret, guilt, and more anger.

I regretted saying I didn't love Corey, I regretted saying most of the things I've said within the past half hour.

My mind kept replaying the look in his face when I said I didn't love him.

The look of hurt in his gleaming eyes made my heart ache.

After a few minutes my emotions slowly faded into an annoying feeling of irritation.

What I was irritated at I wasn't sure. I think just life in general.

I didn't regret saying it so much anymore-I didn't want to regret it really.

He deserved it, he was being a jackass.

And he burned down my fucking car.

The thought of it made anger prickle at my skin.

Plus he's the one who broke up with me, so what if I didn't love him anymore?

Why did he expect us to be all nice towards each other and still be madly in love?

He broke up with me on my wedding day and he's acting insanely jealous of me liking Reaver which in my opinion doesn't make since.

I have the right to be a little mad don't I?

Well hell if I do; I am.

As I ran my hands through my hair I caught sight of the tattoo on my arm.

I glared down at my arm.

Why did I let Drake convince me to get that damned thing?

I desperately wanted it gone; to be rid of it and have back my clear un-tattooed skin without any traces of his name.

Amidst my angst I walked to the bathroom and turned on the sink, getting a handful of soap and trying desperately and fruitlessly to scrub off the black ink from my arm even though-in the back of my mind I knew it was a hopeless and stupid effort.

I continued to scrub harshly at my skin, using tons of soap and my nails to try and erase the name.

I could faintly hear my cell phone ringing from my room but I was too lost in my helpless state at the moment to really even give the shrill ringing a fleeting thought.

As I felt my eyes fill with troubled tears I blinked them away, my arm stinging as I raked my nails over it repetitively.

I did this for minutes after minutes with my cell phone's ringing endlessly the whole time before I finally gave up and took my pleading fingers away from the tattoo, seeing the water run a diluted red from the blood from my arm.

I hadn't really given the stinging pain any thought while I was doing it, even when I saw blood start to ooze from the scratches my nails made I still kept going.

And now my arm was a raw, red mess but yet-the tattoo was still there.

I washed the soap from it as it burned the raw skin and wiped off my arm whilst more blood slowly crept from the scratches.

I took a moment to take in a few deep, steadying breaths before giving up at the sound of my phone starting up again.

I let out an aggravated noise and walked from the bathroom to my room, heading over to where my phone was.

I answered the phone without giving the caller I.D a glance: "What?" My voice sounded depleted.

"Bell?" I heard Mary say from the other line.

I sighed. "Yeah."

"What's going on? I've been trying to get a hold of you ever since I heard the wedding was cancelled."

"I just haven't had my phone on, sorry."

"So what happened? I mean the wedding-everyone's talking about how you and Corey aren't getting married anymore. Is that true?"

"Yeah." I replied bitterly.

"Oh...what-what happened? It's so unexpected..."

"He broke up with me."

"What?! Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"But why? I don't understand."

"Neither do I." I said acidly, beginning to pace.

"So what does that mean? Are you two like mad at each other? Did you get in fight or something and that's why he broke up with you?"

"No. Well I mean I'm mad at him now but I wasn't before."

"Well why are you now?"

I tangled a hand in my hair, my eyes stationed ahead of me as I redundantly traced the floor. "We got in a fight not that long ago. He set my car on fire. So, yeah-I'm just really pissed off right now."

"He did what? Oh my god. That's...What did you get in a fight about?"

"Ugh, I don't know just-" I stopped and sighed.

"I can tell you don't want to talk about it so it's fine. Another time."

I heard a knock on my door.

"Go away!" I said, leaning the phone away from my mouth.

"What?" Mary asked.

"Nothing just people being annoying." I expressed.

"You seem like you're not in too good of a mood."

"Really?" I said sarcastically as there was another knock on the door.

"Look, why don't we just talk later when you feel like it, okay?"

"Okay."

"Bye." She said and I hung up, letting my hand with the phone to fall to my side as I walked to my door.

I pulled it open to be greeted by the sight of Nick.

"Oh God, what do you want?" I said.

"Hello to you as well." He replied, a playful smile on his face.

"I'm not in the mood, Nick."

"Hey, I just came to see how you were doing. I haven't seen you since that one night and that whole thing with the wedding happened-which by the way is it true that your slave broke up with you?"

I cringed internally at his wording. "I guess, yeah."

"Oh! I'm sorry, Bells."

"No you're not."

"Okay maybe I'm not but I'm pissed at him for breaking up with you. Any guy that would do that is seriously stupid."

I sighed.

"Whoa Bells, what happened to your arm? and your hand?" Nick asked, his eyes on my newly wounded knuckles.

"I...punched something and my arm..." I looked at the marks riddled all over the red-tinged, tattooed skin.

"I...can't make up a good excuse for that." I sighed, putting my arm back down.

Nick proceeded into my room, glancing around before turning back to look at me.

"Come in." I said derisively, closing the door.

"So what did happen? To your arm?"

"I tried to wash the tattoo off." I breathed a humor-less laugh.

"Stupid, right?"

"Not necessarily. It seems the washing was a little rough though."

"Yeah,"

He went and sat down on my bed, patting the spot next to him.

I sauntered over, sitting next to him but not looking at him.

"Have you been getting along with Reaver?" He inquired.

I looked at him. "Yeah, how did you know about him?"

"I've known him for a little while."

"How?"

"Remember that demon I was talking about?"

Realization came across my face. "Oh,"

"Yeah, he's a cool guy, huh?"

"Yeah." I agreed half-heartedly.

Nick touched my hand, linking his fingers with mine and our eyes met.

"Look, Arabelle can you please try to put away your negative thoughts about me? I really am sorry for acting so stupid in the past but I really do mean well. I only want the best for you and I just didn't like that you were going to marry a vampire. I mean it didn't turn out to well did it?"

"I guess not." I agreed resentfully.

"So can you maybe consider giving me another chance? You do still have to marry someone...and we were going to get married at one point."

"But Nick, what if I don't want to marry you?"

"Well who else are you going to marry? Reaver?"

I glanced around.

"That wasn't an answer." He stated.

"I don't have to marry anyone. I have Reaver helping me- I'm fine."

"But what about spending the rest of your life with someone? Wouldn't you rather run the country with someone you love?"

"Honestly I'm so sick of relationships and love I'd be just fine with not marrying anyone."

"I get it. I'm sure you're still upset about the wedding. I just want you to know that I'm here for you anytime you need someone to talk to or just anything at all, okay?"

I nodded.

For once Nick seemed like less of a jerk. Like the Nick I used to be in love with.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.

"I still love you, Bells and I always will."

I returned the embrace, resting my head on his shoulder; I could smell the nice expensive cologne he always wore.

He pulled away slightly to look at me.

"Oh before I forget this came for you in the mail." Nick said, reaching into the pocket of his jeans.

He handed me a small white package. "I think it's from your Dad."

I took it from him. "Thanks."

"Yeah, so I guess I'll get going. Oh and Trey says hi." He stood up, his hand lingering on my shoulder.

I nodded. "Where is Trey?"

"He's around. I think you'll be happy to know I've become much more lenient with him. I hardly ever treat him as a slave anymore."

"That's good. I would hate it if he got treated badly; he's such a good person."

He nodded. "I've come to learn that. I'm sure you'll be seeing him around. I'll see you later. Come and get me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on my cheek. "Talk to you later, Bells."

I nodded and he left the room.

After a few minutes of sitting there in silence I decided to open the package from my Dad.

I ripped open the top and peered inside.

I reached my hand in and pulled out a thin gold chain with a gold cross with silver spirals dancing around it hanging from it.

My Dad loved the look of crosses and he always gave me cross necklaces when he found one he liked.

I smiled faintly, watching the gold gleam in the light as I dangled the necklace in front of me.

I reached out and touched the cross, as my fingers grasped the shiny surface I felt a burning seer through my fingers and I pulled my hand back, glancing at it.

The tips of my fingers that had brushed the cross felt like they were being held over a hot flame.

I shook my hand, trying to get the sensation to fade.

It gradually decreased over the next minute and I stared curiously at the cross.

What-do crosses burn me now? I'm not a vampire.

After a moment I touched the cross again and to my surprise I had the same reaction.

I looked at my fingers as they seared with the pain of heat.

Nothing looked wrong with them except they looked a tiny bit redder than normal.

I placed the necklace on my nightstand and bent down, pulling open the drawer.

I rummaged through the contents 'till I found what I was looking for; A small wooden cross.

Hesitating for a brief moment I picked it up, wrapping my pale fingers around the slender wooden cross.

Instantly I felt the same burning flare through my fingers and palm making me drop the cross.

It clattered onto the floor as I stood up, a deep confusion and worry in my eyes.

I need to be baptized.

I shook my head lightly. There has to be some sort of explanation for this.

I rubbed my aching head, sitting back down on my bed.

I mindlessly looked at my hands, the burning now ceased.

I noticed the veins in my wrists were more prominent than usual; I trailed a finger down the blue lines that popped against my white skin.

Maybe this is some kind of anti-christ flu.

I laughed softly to myself.

I'm being punished by God for loving a vampire. Just like that preacher had said.

Yeah, right. I thought as I took off my boots and got under the covers, pulling them over my head.

I sighed at the no longer presence of light, it made my head hurt a little less.

I'm going to start wearing sunglasses all the time from now on.

From under the covers I heard the ringing of my cell phone.

I sighed with annoyance and peeked out of the covers, reaching out to get the phone.

The noise grinded against my newly-sensitive ears uneasily; I need to turn this thing off.

This is what happens when I finally turn it on.

I looked at the caller I.D and saw it was Sam, a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile.

I decided to answer it and tapped my finger against the screen, pressing the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Arabelle." Sam said in her usual nonchalant voice.

"Hi." I settled back under the covers.

"So...tough break up, huh?"

"Wh-how'd you know?" I questioned.

"I talked to Mary."

"Oh."

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. I've tried texting you but I guess you've been preoccupied."

"Yeah, I-um it's just been a weird past few days. Plus I think I'm sick."

"Oh really? What's wrong?"

"Well I think I have probably the worst flu known to mankind-either that or I've been cursed by God."

She laughed. "Cursed, huh? You shouldn't have fallen in love with a vampire."

"I'm starting to think that."

"Oh you sound bitter. Are you pissed or just really sad?"

"First, definitely the first." I stated.

She laughed again. "Ah, I love anger, it's so passionate. So why're you pissed?"

"Ugh, too many things too count. I'm just hating life right now."

"Mmm, I gotcha. You've crawled in the whole of the grouch. That whole fuck the world attitude."

I laughed. "Yes exactly."

"So do you want me to oblige? I could come over and hang out. We could order pizza and watch romantic movies and laugh at their stupidity."

I breathed a laugh. "Sure."

"Good thing you said yes because I'm already on my way."

I smiled, shaking my head.

"So were you really going to marry Corey?" She asked.

My smiled faded. "Yes...why?"

"Nothing just he seemed like a freak."

I felt a pang of anger. "Hey, he's not a freak. He's...nice." I stated defensively.

Nice? Was that the best I could do?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. He just seemed weird, that's all. Maybe I just didn't know him well enough."

I stayed silent.

"You okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Alright well I'll be over shortly."

"Okay." I hung up the phone, my hand falling to rest on the bed.

I lay on my stomach, cocooned in blankets.

I felt a dull ache tugging at my chest but it wasn't physical- it was emotional.

For the first time since we broke up, I missed Corey.

I swallowed back the rising lump in my throat.

When started thinking about when we were together I drew the line.

I'm not going to lay here and start reminiscing about the 'good times'.

I wonder what Corey's doing right now...

Damn it! Stop thinking about him.

I swallowed; noticing a dry, scratchy feeling of thirst in my throat.

I pulled my head out from the covers, flinching at the harsh light and looked to see if I had any kind of drink in here.

I sighed; I didn't.

I suddenly had a craving for something sweet, along with my craving for something to quench my thirst.

I cursed to myself, not wanting to get out of my cozy cocoon.

I looked across the room to notice Nick had left the door open.

"Who doesn't close doors when they leave?" I asked myself.

I reached over to my nightstand to try turning that light off, so maybe it would be less bright in here.

I lost my balance trying to reach that far and fell onto the floor, still wrapped in blankets.

I glanced at the doorway; maybe I can just roll downstairs.

I wiggled myself free from the blankets and picked up my white sunglasses from the table and slipped them on to slightly relieve my eyes from the light.

I saw Corey walk past my doorway, holding a black mug in his hands.

"Hey, how's it going?" He asked in passing.

"Lovely." I muttered, waving a hand as he disappeared from sight.

A moment later he backed up; stopping in the doorway.

"What did you do to your arm?" He questioned.

I glanced down at it. "Eh, nothing."

"Sure doesn't look like nothing. Did you try to scratch your skin off? Cause that's what it looks like."

"Somethin' like that."

"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" He slowly stepped into the room.

"The light." I gestured towards the ceiling. "It hurts."

He nodded. "You seem less mad." He commented, taking a sip from the mug.

"Maybe I am."

"Well that's good. Maybe we can have a normal, calm conversation."

"About what?"

He glanced at the wooden cross on the floor. "About what's wrong with you."

"What do you mean?"

"First let me start by saying that I'm sorry for acting so...mean towards you and Reaver. And setting the car on fire was a little uncalled for. I won't act like that anymore, I promise."

"You are...forgiven."

He smiled somewhat. "Now where's my apology?"

"For what?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you not realize all the insulting things you said to me?"

I thought about some of the things I said. "Okay, I'm sorry."

"You don't sound like it."

"I'm very sorry, I didn't mean any of those things, including when I said I didn't love you."

He froze. "Really? You still love me?"

"Yes very much."

He exhaled deeply. "I feel so much better. You really do love me?"

I nodded. "More than anything."

He smiled and came closer to me, using his free hand to take off my sunglasses.

My eyes met his and I felt that overwhelming emotion I always seemed to be reminded of when I was around him; love.

"Hey guess what?" I said.

"What?" He smiled.

"I actually missed you for the first time."

"Oh it's about time I only missed you every second I was away from you."

"Exaggeration?

He shook his head. "Not at all."

I smiled. "That's sweet."

"So are you."

I bit my lip, holding back my smile unsuccessfully.

"You look so cute when you smile." He acknowledged. "I just want to squeeze your cheeks."

My smile widened significantly and I looked down feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Aww, damn it. Why do you have to be so adorable? I can't stand it." He claimed.

I looked back up at him and he beamed down at me.

"Even if we're not together," He started. "I still always want to be around you. I'll be your slave for the rest of your life. Which should be forever."

I tilted my head slightly. "Forever?"

"What would you say if I wanted to turn you into a vampire?"

I was slightly taken aback by his question. "I-I don't know."

"Answer truthfully: Do you want to be a vampire?"

"I don't know definitely not at this moment-or year."

"Hmm well maybe you won't react that well to this."

"What are you talking about?"

"Picked up any crosses lately?" He asked, his eyes looking behind me at the cross.

"Yeah, why?"

"Did it hurt?"

I wasn't sure why but I decided to lie. "No."

He walked over to the cross and picked it up placing his mug on the table and obviously ignoring the pain though I could still see it in his expression somewhat.

He walked in front of me, holding up the cross.

"What are you doing?" I asked nervously eyeing the cross in his hands.

I was very worried that it would hurt like before if it touched me.

He pressed the cross to my chest, the wood touching the bare skin of my collarbone and bottom of my neck.

I instantly stepped back as the pain burned at my chest like the cross was on fire when it touched me.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." I replied quickly.

"You sure?"

I nodded.