"I simply cannot believe it," my mother was going on for the fourth time this week. I rolled my eyes in Emily fashion as I set down my cards and Madison started to shuffled them back into the deck. I told myself that I was annoyed at her repetition but in truth it was her words which wounded me. "I cannot believe that he would just take off like that, without warning, without so much as a goodbye. After all we've done for him. And he just gets on his horse and takes off home. Didn't even take Benthem with him."

The Duke had left a week ago. Just packed up his belongings and hit the road on his own. He hadn't said goodbye, hadn't thanked us, nothing. And I knew it was my fault. I had put too much pressure on him at the ball, assumed too much. Why had I said such a thing just days after convincing myself he felt nothing for me? Why did I always have to start such drama?

I threw down my cards again and cursed. Madison looked up at me the way she'd been looking at me all week. Eyes full of pity, lips pouting in our shared sorrow. I hated it. I couldn't stand it.

"Oh but at least our dear Emily has moved on," my mother finished her tirade the same as she always did. "I'm so pleased things are advancing with Colin so nicely. He's such a kind boy and with a nice familial estate he will inherit one day. A bit shy, mind you, not much of a talker that one but oh, he suites our Emily so well, don't you think, Ella?"

For the upteenth time, I forced a smile and gave a terse nod back to my mother who simply sighed and fell against the chair she was seated in, likely daydreaming of a beautiful fall wedding.

I was happy for Emily, truly I was. She deserved this after all she'd been through the last year and a half. But it was hard to hear about how in love my sister was and how successful her courtship was when I was mending a broken heart no one even knew needed to be healed. Well, no one but Madison and it was bad enough she knew.

Then there was the fact that it was becoming clear to us all that a proposal was coming soon on the Colin and Emily front which meant that, once my sister was engaged, my mother had nothing to do but to turn her full attention to me and she wouldn't stop until I was married off as well. And, as much as I hated to admit it, my heart just wasn't into the thought of matrimony. Not anymore.

"Are you alright, Ella?" Madison asked and I realized I hadn't played a card in some time. I blinked and cleared my throat before getting to my feet.

"Yes, I'm fine," I assured her. "I only- um, I think I need some fresh air."

Then I turned away and headed for the door, trying to ignore the sorrowful way my oldest friend watched me go. The hallway was quieter but it wasn't enough. I headed for the front door to at least get some fresh air but, as luck would have it, I came upon Elijah heading out as well. He said he was going to town. I told him that was perfect because I had another dress to order for the next ball. He invited me along without question and the short time in the carriage between home and Madame Francis' shop with my brother was far more invigorating than the last week in the drawing room with my mother and Madison had been.

Madame Francis came out of her shop to greet us as our carriage pulled up to the doors. I cocked my head sideways as I stepped out onto the street beyond. She'd never come to greet me before.

"Ella!" She exclaimed excitedly, gripping my hands in her own as I joined her on the sidewalk. "I'm so pleased to see you again. I've been working on some gowns that I think will look absolutely marvelous on you."

"How long will you be?" Elijah asked from where he remained in the carriage.

"Not long," I assured him. "Perhaps an hour."

He nodded and motioned for the driver to move on to his next destination. I may have imagined it, in fact I was certain I must have imagined it, because it almost seemed as if he and Madame Francis had exchanged a glance before he was on his way. I opened my mouth to ask about such an odd occurrence but Madame Francis was already speaking.

"I got this beautiful taffeta in from Spain," she was saying as she led me through the doors of the shop and toward the stairs in the back. "It's this lovely burnt orange color and I thought it might clash with your hair but maybe if we- Ella?"

We'd reached the landing of her apartment and she'd gone to let us in but then noticed the expression on my face in the lamp light and stopped, concern clear in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

It was all she needed to say. I hadn't been able to cry for a week, not when my mother fluttering about as if this were the happiest time of our lives, not with Emily finally experiencing love for the first time, not with Madison breathing down my neck asking if I was alright every second of the day. But here, I could. Madame Francis had never judged me. In fact, she'd always been far more understanding than she had any right to be. I thought that perhaps I should question that and why that might be but, in the moment, all I could think of was my own sorrow and how I might burst if I didn't tell someone how I truly felt the way I'd hoped he would have a week ago.

"I'm a fool, Madame Francis," I told her. "I'm the biggest fool in all of England."

"Well, I highly doubt that," she said, turning the key in the lock and admitting us to her apartment. I crossed the threshold with her and collapsed on her fabric covered sofa. "I personally know bigger fools than you. What happened, Ella?"

"I love him," I said.

It was silent for a moment. Madame Francis and I both just sat with what I had just said. I'd never said it aloud before, had never even admitted it to myself, but speaking it now, it felt like the truest thing I'd ever said, like a weight off of my chest that pressed back down a moment later when I remembered where that love had left me.

"Or I did," I muttered. "But he left."

Madame Francis still did not speak but her shoulders slumped marginally. I sighed and sat forward, dropping my head into my hands.

"Everyone wanted him and I suppose I fell right in with them," I groaned. "Just another half waited girl throwing herself at the nearest man with the highest title."

"Is that why you love him?" Madame Francis asked so quietly I had to look up to hear her. "Because of his title?"

"No," I answered.

"Because of his wealth?"

"No."

"His looks?"

"Well, they certainly help. But no."

She smiled.

"Then you aren't like the rest of them, Ella," she told me. She sat down next to me and took my hands in hers. "This was your first love, Ella. And now it's your first heartbreak. It always hurts but you will survive it and be stronger for it. You're no naive child. You know how the world works, how men behave, and now you just understand even better. He didn't break you, none of them can. They can only make us stronger."

She finished so fervently that I even started to believe it. I smiled back at her.

"Thank you," I said and I meant it. She had given me the gift of my own confidence and that was something that I could never have enough gratitude for. "Truly, Madame Francis. You have been so kind to me."

She waved her hand dismissively.

"Your brother will be back for you soon," Madame Francis said with some finality, standing up and wiping her hands on her skirts. "We should go back downstairs."

I nodded and followed her out of her apartment back to the shop below where she was immediately immersed with the new group of ladies who had just entered. I took my leave, waving a polite goodbye before walking out to the sidewalk and watching everyone passing by as I waited. Elijah pulled up with the carriage only a few minutes later and I climbed inside.

Neither of us discussed our business. We just fell into easy conversation about the other inhabitants of our town and who Elijah had seen out on the way home. When we arrived back at the manor, we noticed another carriage waiting in the drive. Elijah's jaw tensed as realization dawned upon him. I only hissed in a breath.

"Well," I spoke casually as we stepped out onto the drive. "Thank you for a wonderful morning, Elijah. I'll need the memory of it to get me through the next few hours."

"No," he snapped, tone cold and unfriendly but eyes not even glancing in my direction as he helped me from the carriage. "You won't."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he strode off toward the house. I followed after him, curious and confused.

Thomas Abney was waiting just inside the foyer, which his carriage parked out front had indicated and was no surprise to us. My mother stood proudly at his side, smiling wide as if the two of them had reached some sort of agreement while we were away. Elijah was fuming as he approached but he took a moment to attempt to gather himself. It didn't work.

"Sir Abney," Elijah spoke with barely restrained rage masquerading as feigned politeness. "I apologize that you've come all this way but we've got an urgent family matter to discuss and I'm afraid it isn't suitable to an outsider's ears."

"Actually, Sir Thomas may be family soon so-" our mother began but Thomas Abney, thankfully, cut her off.

"I understand," he took a bow. "I will leave you to your discussions."

He brushed past Elijah and approached me, leaning down to kiss my knuckles in a repulsive maneuver that made my lip curl up in a sneer despite my best efforts at a demure grin. Then he was gone.

"What is this?" Elijah snapped the moment he had left.

My mother, to her credit, held her chin high at being accosted by her own son.

"I wrote him," she said obviously. "Now that Emily is so well established-"

"Emily is still courting, mother," Elijah spat.

"I didn't see any reason to waste time with Sir Abney and Ella," my mother finished as if Elijah hadn't even interrupted.

"I thought we talked about this," Elijah replied, voice low in warning. I just stood there, watching my mother and my older brother glaring at each other, unsure of how or if I should get involved.

"We did."

"And you are determined to ignore my wishes?"

"Perhaps if you would tell me your reasons as to why-"

"There are certain things a gentleman knows about another gentleman that gossiping ladies should not hear!" Elijah shouted, our mother flinching at his outburst. "I told you that. I have no intention of tarnishing the man's reputation but trust me when I tell you that he is not suited to Ella. Do not let your own desperation to see your daughter married rob her of an appropriate match. For heaven's sake, mother, she isn't even debuted! Why are you so intent of being rid of her?"

Our mother's jaw tensed and she glanced my way. She had a reason, I realized for the first time. She truly did want rid of me. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear why. So I picked up my skirts and fled, taking the stairs two at a time to get away from this conversation as quickly as I could.

"Ella!" Elijah shouted after me a moment later but I ignored him as I rushed into my room, slamming the door behind me and leaning against it as the tears rolled down my cheeks.