France has a business trip to New York and I don't know when he will be coming back. He always called me at night to check on us and he told me he would go back home as soon as he can. It was better that France was not around yet otherwise I would face a trial by my own brother.

“Don't you have anywhere to go or to do?” I asked David while I was cooking for lunch. He was sitting on the couch playing with our son on his lap while watching cartoons.

“Nope.” He replied smiling.

I was reluctant to ask him of when would he be returning to London. I never wanted to hear his answer.

I bowed my head and spoke calmly.

“You know you cannot stay here for long.”

I felt him staring at me.

“Do you want me to go now?” He asked with a sad voice.

“David, we both know we are not getting back together.”

He looked disappointed.

“I want to stay here, with you and our son.” he pleaded.

“I will give you access to visit my son if that's all you want.”

“But I want to see you as well.” I was shocked.

“When you visit my son, then you will probably be able to see me.”

“No, I want to be present in your life and our baby everyday, forever.”

“David, stop this drama!” I interrupted. “I will not hinder you to see my son."

“Baby...”

“As for us, you are over a year late.” I almost yelled at him.

I was controlling my temper, especially my baby was around and he was smart enough to understand what was happening in his surrounding.

He got up from the couch and strode his way to me while still holding my baby. He touched my cheeks but I turned my head away.

“I am not going anywhere.” His voice was dark.

“Don't you understand. I'm not going back to you.” I yelled, causing my baby to jump in fear and he started crying.

The tears in his eyes made my heart swelled. I tried getting him from his father but he shoved my hand away and instead sneaked closer to his father's neck while sobbing.

I was shocked to my baby's reaction. He seemed to have understood our fight. I was feeling guilty of making him cry.

I cooed him while he was crying softly.

“Baby, I'm sorry. Please to come to mamma.” I was in the verge of crying.

He recognized my sweet voice so he turned around and extended his right hand to reach me.

I took him from his father and showered him with kisses all over his face.

David was not saying anything. He just stood there in front of us. His sorrowful eyes never left mine.

“I will go out for a while. I'll be back later.” He spoke in low tone.

I just stood still not uttering any words. When my baby noticed that his father was walking out of the door, he cried again extending his arms to his father. My heart was shattered upon seeing my son grieving.

I felt guilty and accountable for all the distress I caused to my son. I looked at David and I could see the tears forming in his eyes.

He walked back to us and he picked my son up and kissed his head.

“I love you son. Daddy will be back, okay?” He was trying to keep his tears.

David looked at me one more time and then, went out of the door.

I was not able to control myself this time. I cried and poured my heart out while hugging my baby closer to my chest. The pain during my labor was terrible, but this pain is unbearable. It's killing me softly.

“Baby, you are the only one that's keeping me alive. Don't leave me, baby. Don't leave mommy please.” I was sobbing hard and I felt million of needles pricking my heart.

I carried him to the bedroom. I was feeling tired of moving my limbs and my eyes were swollen. I was laying on the bed with my baby sleeping beside me. He was facing me and breathing softly. He was cuddling a white rabbit toy.

It was past 3pm when my stomach growled. I remembered I hadn't eaten yet since the fight with David.

I slowly got off from the bed and headed my way to the kitchen.

I didn't have any idea when would David be coming back, or if he would ever come back after how I treated him.

The pain I felt a year ago was slowly conquering and swallowing me back again. I vowed to never let myself fall into the same pit again. But it turns out, there is a different pit this time waiting ahead of me. 🎲