"So uhm, Charlie and Haley came over that day-"

"Why did they come over?"

"I was tutoring him."

"Why were you tutoring him?"

"Montgomery asked me to."

"Why didn't you say no?"

"I don't know."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No, I already told you I didn't slee-"

"Did you want to?"

"No."

"Do you.." he trailed off, "do you still have feelings for him?" He asked.

"Adrian-"

"Honesty." He said.

I rolled my eyes, he said that word like it was some kind of a magic spell or something.

"No! God, no I don't have any feelings left for him, only you." I said, flashing the light at him, he didn't even turn to look away.

"Only me. Okay." He said.

"Okay? Does that mean you forgive me?" My mouth stretched into a smile.

"No, Emily, I will never forgive you for kissing that asshole but yeah, we're cool cause I totally fucked Lana." He responded, my mouth fell open and I gasped.

"You what?!" My voice echoed through out the woods.

"Kidding but I wish I had, that reaction was priceless." He was smiling.

"Jesus." I rubbed the back of my neck and relaxed.

We were staring at each other.

Now what?

He turned on the light above the car and looked at me again.

"Get in." He said, gesturing to the seat next to him, scooting a little to leave way for me.

I moved closer, climbing the SUV and trying to get on the seat next to him, I placed my hand on the leather seat behind him, our eyes met and I paused.

And just like that, the closeness, the power of eye contact and the hungry thoughts of our brains, it all turned into unbearable sexual tension.

He brought his hands to my hips, pulling me to his lap and resting my legs on his sides.

He shut the door, snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me closer, I gasped and he kissed my throat, his eyes traveling all the way down my body.

He placed his hands on my bare legs, smoothing his hands over them, "Why were you trying to hide them earlier?" He asked, I almost facepalmed at the memory.

"I don't know what you're talking about, why would I try to hide something that's already yours." I buried my fingers in his hair and tried to kiss him but he pushed his head back and stared at me instead.

"Mine." It came out with a trembling breath.

"Yours." I repeated.

"Are you ready for real, Emily?" He took off my Jean jacket.

Real? I was confused, what was real.

He saw that I was lost so he spoke, "We said talking about it would make it real, I don't think I want to wait until the end of summer for real, I want us to talk about it right now."

Except I didn't want us to talk about real, I wanted us to kiss like never before and fuck like never before.

"Adrian, no, not right now." I shook my head.

"It has to be now. You have to choose."

"Choose? Choose what?"

"We're gonna have to leave after summer ends and let's face it, it's probably going to be more painful than that stupid immature fight we had and we're kidding ourselves if we think we're going to make long distance work." He said.

He said so much yet so little, either way, I didn't like where he was headed.

"It will work." I whispered.

"Really? Are you telling me that you are willing to go four years without having an attraction? four years without falling for someone else? four years without making out with someone or having sex?" He asked.

I swallowed a lump as my heart started at it again.

"Yeah."

"You sure?" He raised his brows.

"Okay then we'll do an open relationship, we'll see other people." I suggested, matter-of-fact.

"You think other people will approve of it? You think I wanna hear you say that you met someone else?" He kept pushing, my throat became heavy and my blood bored.

"You don't have to hear about it, neither does the other person." I looked out the window.

He held my chin and made me look at him, "It's bullshit and you know it."

"So what do you want me to choose exactly?" I wiped my eyes.

"We break up right now, heal and not be as broken by the time summer ends or continue this, make the best memories ever and possibly shatter by the time-"

"Make the best memories ever." I cut him off.

"Are you sure?"

"Dude, if you want to break up with me then just say it." I snapped at him.

"No." He cupped my face, "I just don't want to give you false hope, Emily, I can't promise you forever, forever doesn't exist in my world." He said.

Another word that didn't exist in his world.

Love and now forever.

Two words that every woman wants to hear from a man she loves.

Yet again my mind was telling me to run, telling me to stop being a fucking lovestruck hypocrite and just run.

But I was still sitting on his lap, his hands still on my face and my heart just begging and begging me to kiss him already.

I wished I was heartless, I wished I was as guarded as he was, I wished I wasn't that... Weak whenever I was close to him.

"So did you get a new tattoo or something?" I changed the subject.

He stared at me with that concerned look. He knew exactly what I was doing. Avoiding reality.

He dropped his hands and sighed, looking away from me for a slight second.

"Yeah but I didn't tell you about that." He looked back at me.

"I kinda found out." I forced a smile.

"Fucking Cole." He leaned his head against the seat.

"Show me." I said, he smiled at me, I smiled back.

And just like that we both forgot about our realities.

He started pulling his hoodie over his head and I helped him, the shirt too.

I picked up his phone and turned on the flashlight again in order to read the words inked on his torso.

"My biggest failure is knowing I never tried"

I look up at him with narrowed eyes.

"My Dad used to say those words to me every time he was drunk, he would come up to my room, he'd even wake me just to say; remember, your biggest failures in life will be knowing you never tried, so try and try and then try again. I never paid attention at first but then that fire happened and I didn't even try to save them which is my biggest failure in life, but then again I used that same statement to accomplish other things so I felt like I should carry it with me wherever I go, besides. humans forget all the time." He whispered the last part.

"I think that's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard you say." I grinned.

"Not sad?" He asked.

"No." I leaned in to kiss him, he pulled away again. I rolled my eyes.

"There's one more." He announced.

"One more tattoo?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, on my back." He pointed to his back.

I had to hug him in order to see the tattoo on the back of his shoulder, I smiled at the decorated syringe tattoo.

I careened to look at him, "Am I inside it? Since I'm the drug."

"Yes, dude said he hid your name somewhere inside there, he was the one that did the first ones."

"I thought you hated me for the last-"

"I did hate you but I didn't get this tattoo for you, I got it for me. To remind myself." He said the strangest thing.

"To remind yourself of what?" I asked cluelessly.

"That once upon a time, I had a girl named Emily, she was a bitch at times but I was still into her, I was so into her that it scared me, I didn't want to lose Emily, I didn't like seeing Emily kissing other guys and I definitely didn't like their hands on her. Emily drove me crazy, Emily was my brain invader, Emily's kisses tasted different from all the other kisses, Emily made me feel like I was ready for marriage, Emily this and Emily that, everyday I'd think about Emily and I fucking loved it, I loved it so much I considered Emily as the only girl that would ever make me feel like life was worth so much more." He explained.

I didn't like him expressing me in past tense like I wasn't there, like I was this stranger he was storytelling with.

"So you got the tattoo so you wouldn't forget my name which is literally on your chest?" I trailed my fingers along the ink.

"No. Smartass, I got the tattoo so I wouldn't forget how this feels like. How you make me feel." He said, looking me straight in the eye. That was him reminding me it wasn't going to last.

It was too much, way too much, I wanted to feel something else, something other than heartache and sadness.

"Can we have make up sex now?" I asked, trying not to cry at the words he said.

"I'd love to but I really don't have a rubber on me." He said.

My mouth stretched into a shy smile.

"We're not having unprotected sex." He shook his head when he noticed my smile.

"My dad's girlfriend got me on the pill." I confessed, biting my lower lip, totally embarrassed.

The same embarrassment I had when she dragged me to a store two weeks ago, I didn't tell Adrian because well how and why?

"Why would she do that?" He stared at my lips.

"Because I'm a teenager who has a boyfriend." I said her exact words.

"True." He nodded. "So does that mean that I can.."

"Cum inside me? I think so." I nodded, he chuckled, shaking his head at me.

"I meant fuck you right now but that one sounds better." He said before finally slamming his lips on mine, moving hard over my mouth, his tongue darted to lick my lower lip before slipping into my mouth, I moaned. YES.

Now that's how a guy should kiss.

He pulled me closer to him even though I was already close enough, I moved my hips and he growled in my mouth, biting on my bottom lip and moving his hand to my ass squeezing, I moaned again.

I released my dress straps from my shoulders and exposed my breasts. His hand closed around my right boob as his mouth traveled down my neck.

"Adrian." I gasped as he grabbed my right nipple between his teeth, "oh, God" I rolled my eyes shut.

He breathed hard as his lips came back to my mouth, my nipples brushing his chest, we both immediately inhaled sharp breaths, staring at each other. His gaze searched my face, he looked like he wanted to say something but he just placed his hand behind my neck and pulled me back to his lips, kissing me so hard I felt so drunk by it.

My fingers unbuttoned his pants and reached inside. His breath hitched.

He was so big and warm and hard. I dropped beside him to take off my underwear completely then I was back on his lap again, getting ahold of his dick and slowly aging him inside me.

"Oh. Fuck." He rested his forehead on my collarbone once he was fully inside me.

Okay.

"I've never had unprotected sex before and.. WOW, you feel so good." He whispered softly.

Feeling like it was something, I smiled, "Me too."

I could actually feel him, all of him. But why did I feel like I was only getting myself into deeper trouble?

I started moving my hips, he held my hips and kissed my lips. "Go slow." He said and I nodded but even when I was going slow, he was breathing so heavily, his eyes were shut and his hands on me tightened.

"Tell me what you did while we were broken up for sixty seconds." He said randomly, his eyes still shut.

"Right now?"

"I need a serious distraction."

"Okay, I did a little bit of drawing-" my tone shaky and low.

"You draw?" He opened his eyes and stared at my face. I just nodded, couldn't speak anymore.

He didn't say anything, he just stared again, watching me.

"Okay now you're just teasing me. My turn." He laid me down on the seat so I was laying on my back and he was laying on top of me.

He pulled out of me, nudged the head against my opening and went in again, his eyes closed and his jaw was tight. He was beautiful. He thrusted once, twice and then he hit a spot that made me whimper.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He grazed his teeth on the inked skin on my chest.

I lifted my hips and he hit the spot again, this time it made my thighs tremble and he might have felt it cause he released a groan in the crook of my neck which gave me goosebumps, he was so deep, exploring and stretching me.

He moved his face from my neck to meet my eyes, "Tell me how it feels."

"It feels so good." I tightened my legs around him.

his teeth pulled on my lip, "Say it again."

"You feel so good." As soon as those words escaped my mouth he went faster, harder, deeper and all-ecstacy.

He did feel good, it all felt good and that scared me a little, what if no one was ever going to be as good as he was, what if only he could kiss my mouth like that, what if only he could find that spot inside me that made me feel everything, what if no guy could ever march up to Adrian's touch of fire mixed with ice.

What was I supposed to do then?

"Emily." He whispered, searching my eyes.

"Adrian." I kissed him, not leaving his gaze.

I felt the tension building between my legs, I wrapped my arms around him and exploded so hard I saw nothing but stars as I cried out a moan.

"Fuck, that was beautiful." He planted kisses on the length of my neck. "Now ask me to cum inside you."

"Please cum inside me." the words came out as a whisper beside his ear, he growled and his body trembled on top of me.

We stayed like that. Catching our breaths.

"Emily, quote this." He whispered softly against my neck and I smiled.

He was literally still inside me but okay.

My mind travelled back home to my bookshelf, searching through the romance novels and looking for the perfect quote.

I found it.

"You might not have been my first love but you make all the other loves irrelevant."