As I felt myself waking up, I remembered everything that happened the night before. It was a terrible sleep, so I didn't even get much. The bed felt cold all night, the nightmares I'd have even if I did fall asleep

weren't worth it. Yet it wasn't even that, that had me scared. It's the fact that I hadn't had one since the first night Landon slept next to me, they only ever seemed to go away when he was with me.

Which only made my mind and emotions that much mixed up. I know what I saw yesterday, I know how I felt in that moment but, how I feel now is where I'm stumped. I'm torn between being afraid of Landon and relying on him for safety. Knowing Landon has the strength to do that and how Brad used to do that to me, made my whole thoughts on the situation blur.

Inside Mia was telling me Landon would never hurt us that he was our mate, our protector. I wanted to believe her, I did. Believe it or not I actually trust Landon but, with what I seen it brought me a step back.

After he left I was fine one minute and the next it felt as if I was with Brad. The only thing that could bring me out of the panic was hearing his name. Audrey said his name as a panicked whisper at first but, hearing it knocked me out of my ptsd state. Once she realized, she started to tell me about all these little stories about him.

Landon and his dad used to go fishing down at the river. When he was little he would throw a tantrum if you took his red truck away. Landon always needed a cup of juice before bed. It was crazy how I could remember those facts among my state yet, I did.

My senses filled with Landon's scent as I really took in the smell of his room. I brought the pillow into me more allowing his scent to fill my nose. Then a knock sounded through the room until I heard it open and I sat up quickly.

"Did I wake you?" Landon asked, with a slowness to his voice.

While we stared at one another I couldn't help but, think of last night with us. I know he wanted to kiss me but, how could I let him after what I seen. As I shook my head 'No' his face seemed to crease in worry.

Mia suggested quietly, while I disagreed.

"So, listen." he closed the door softly and moved warily over to me, watching my eyes.

I watched his movements carefully as he got closer until he sat on the edge of the bed next to me but, leaving space in the middle. From here I could see his brown eyes were bloodshot, with bags underneath. By the way his hair looks it seems he was running his hands through it. Overall he didn't look like he slept much, I could only imagine how I look, so I looked down.

"I just wanted to say, that I'm sorry." he spoke firmly yet softly, the scent of something else came from him when he spoke but, I couldn't quite make it out.

If I were a normal wolf maybe I could.

As he continued I stared down at the blanket nervously, "And I know that's not good enough, that I need to show you, I just want you to know that I will." The way he spoke, it felt sincere like he really wanted me to know he meant what he was saying.

Once he finished his sentence though the scent was more evident, alcohol. Is he drunk, or did he just start drinking. I was really wondering, wolves can hold there liquor especially alphas, so I wouldn't be able to tell. Now I questioned his whole apology.

Mia tried to say humorously.

"Please, say something." he spoke again pleadingly, and I looked up to meet his eyes.

They were filled with remorse and guilt, so much so that I couldn't even bring myself to believe it. Does that make me a bad mate? Of course it did sure, Mia growled at that but, I was scared and confused. Then he had to make it worse with drinking. Times like these made me miss my room where I suddenly had the urge to be.

"I j-just want to go back to my room." I muttered under my breath hoping he caught that which I'm sure he did.

A growl broke through the room causing me to scoot back. I halted my movement halfway when I heard a low whimper not even a second later. Did he just, my eyes slowly trailed up his body to his face, then landed on his eyes that were now a pitch black.

My breath hitched and my heart beat wouldn't slow for a second. Mia was itching and screaming for me to move closer to him but, I couldn't move. The way his eyes scanned me made my face heat up. Images of Brad and what I seen last night were flashing in my mind. Then he started to scoot closer to me so I backed up again.

"Layla." his voice sent goosebumps to erupt all over of me, and I halted my movement again, "I'm not going to hurt you." he spoke, while I dragged my eyes to the bed.

Something in me wanted to believe him, yet the memories of my past kept overpowering that. Was he going to hurt me, was he not. The lines were so blurred to me right now and the air felt suffocating.

"C-can I just go b-back to my room, please." I shakily said, still eyeing the bedsheet.

Was I being dramatic, I hope not I just really longed for some comfort and if I couldn't get it from Landon. I'd get it from my tiny room and my bed, heck even the wall with my tally's on them.

"Layla, I don't want you to go." he whispered, and I was stumped, "But, I get that you probably don't want too see me, so we can go right now if you want." he finished, which made me snap my eyes to him.

Once I nodded he got up from the bed, "Your shoes are right by the bed." he muttered, when I took the covers off myself I kept my gaze downwards, slipping my shoes on.

As soon as I stood up, I glanced up to see if he was walking out of the door but, he was just looking at me. I seen his eyes now a hazel color, his head dropping and he shook it before turning around to leave. When he did, I shakily released a breath I'd been holding, slowly starting to leave his room to follow him downstairs.

Once we made it outside I realized I should have told his mother goodbye and thanked her for dealing with me. I know I probably freaked her out with my whole ptsd episode. Considering she helped me though I was more than grateful. Yet I was battling with the idea of talking to Landon even if it was a message for his mom. I watched his back as he was walking ahead of me.

After the pack house came into view I started to get a bit anxious, so I caught up with Landon. Once I reached his side his head snapped towards me. I looked down and tucked some hair behind my ear.

Subtle Layla, real subtle.

"Uhm, w-would you tell your mom I-I say bye." My tone was timid and I hoped he heard me, "And tell her I say t-thank you."

Even though he didn't know what happened to me last night, I sort of felt like his mother told him. To me they seemed close, which I envied. I waited for his response and I seen the pack house coming up ahead.

"Yeah, I will." I looked to him, seeing his lips curl up into a soft smile, that involuntarily caused butterflies in my stomach.

Once we made it to the front of the pack house my nerves picked up, I was lucky no one was outside but, inside was a different story. Landon opened the door and allowed me in first, the house becoming eerily quiet. I froze, dozens of eyes looking at me including, Sara and Donna. My whole side went up in sparks when I felt Landon next to me and out of a weird habit I grabbed his hand. It was stupid of me and impulsive due to my anxiety kicking in from the stares but, I couldn't help myself.

"Again, with the staring?" he growled out, his hand wrapping around mine, as a breathe of relief left me.

Somewhere in me I thought he'd push me away. My head was just a big mess right now and my room would give me the space to think straight. Everyone turned away at his loud claim while we continued to make our way to my room. With both of my hands clinging to his hand. This didn't change anything though, I hoped.

Once we got there I slowly let go of his hand and went over to my bed. We made eye contact and he just gave a tight smile before shutting my door.

Just like that, leaving me alone with my thoughts.