After I helped Alex into the shower, I played with Bruno for a bit on the couch. Alex stays in my mind, and I can't seem to get her out of my head.

This girl is my patient. She has an abusive mother, and had nowhere else to go. I felt the need to help her, so I took her to my flat. It does get a bit lonely sometimes, even with Bruno. I guess with how busy I've been at the hospital and school, love has never really been one of my focuses. My main focus is getting my degree.

Alex is just so...captivating.

I like to make connections with my patients, but this type of connection is different.

I pity for her as well, because the poor girl lost her father, and then some asshole named Austin came along, and her mother has been nothing but cruel to her since. I still feel guilty for telling her to go home and work things out between her and her mother because now she's even more hurt. Her mother faked everything, and I should've been able to tell. Looks can be deceiving.

I guess no matter what, some people never change.

I stare blankly into space, with the sound of Bruno snoring in the background. I can faintly hear the shower water running too, and Alex's naked body almost instantly appears in my mind. I swallow and shake my head. I shouldn't think of her in any other way besides a doctor and patient relationship.

Rian, stop. She's your patient, and she needed help getting undressed. There's nothing sexual about this whatsoever.

I think about how nervous she was when I first examined her bruises, and how her body was softly quaking with jitters beneath my finger tips. She always seems nervous around me, and I find it so cute. How she kind of fidgets and quickly looks away when I look into her eyes. Those chocolate brown eyes.

Rian, no.

I need to stop this. This infatuation with her, it isn't righteous or ethical.

I need to release.

I take some lotion, and a box of tissues and place them on the coffee table in front of me.

God, what am I doing?

I slowly slip my pants and underwear off of my waist, but don't take them off completely. I take my firm erection in my hand, and I move my smooth hand back and forth. I lick my lips, and tilt my head back and close my eyes. It's not long before I feel myself on the brink, and I moan somewhat loudly. I open my eyes, and I see that I've ejaculated on my hand a little bit on the couch.

I don't know why I just did that.

Rian, you know why.

"Fuck," I moan.

I swallow, and I pull my pants up and look around at my surroundings, and those familiar eyes land on mine.

Alex basically just caught me.

My whole body overheats with embarrassment, and I can feel my heart beating in my chest and I can hear it in my ears. Alex just quickly turns around, and hops up the stairs.

Why isn't she using her crutches?

I run up the stairs, and she's just making it to my room when I spot her. I know for sure that she's embarrassed by the whole situation, as am I. There was supposed to be a boundary there and I completely ruined it by being inappropriate in a time it was unnecessary.

"Alex?" I call out.

"No need to explain, Dr. Rian." She says, not facing me, and I feel an unfamiliar coldness.

Emptiness.

She always looks at me when we speak. Does she see me differently now that she just caught me?

"Alex, I'm sorry that you just-, well, saw that." I stammer.

I shake my head, and run a hand through my hair. The way I feel about her isn't right at all, and it's pretty obvious that I couldn't control it by doing what I just did. I don't want Alex to feel uncomfortable while she stays here, in fact, that's the complete opposite of why I brought her here.

My idea to bring her here and have her stay for as long as she needs until she's ready to go back home is so that she can escape the abuse that she's been enduring for so long. I wouldn't want to scare her or make her uncomfortable in the way that her mother has. She's safe here, and I want her to feel that way, which she probably doesn't at this moment.

"I don't blame you for not wanting to look me in the eye, and I shouldn't have done what I did." I admit.

"That makes two of us," she says under her breath. "I was looking for you because I need help getting this wrap stuff off of my leg." She says more audibly.

"Of course I'll help." I say, quickly changing the topic.

I was going to keep rambling about how ashamed I was for my actions, to be a gentleman and show her that my intentions are true. There's nothing more that I want than to provide for her and make sure she's safe. With the way things have been for her, she deserves nothing but the best. I'm trying my damn hardest to give that to her, and I feel as if I just took a huge step backwards.

I carefully unwrap her leg, making sure that the water won't drip onto the splint. I help her into her pajamas, and her eyes look up into mine. Her brown eyes always look curious, like there's so many things she hasn't discovered yet. It's a beautiful innocence.

Our glance is fleeting, but it still feels like it lasts a while. Her eyes look bigger, and the shade of brown is the darkest brown possible. Like a pool of dark chocolate. They're quite beautiful, which is something I shouldn't be thinking about, but I can't help it. There's something about her eyes that is just so irresistible, I can't look away from them.

Whenever I look at her and she instantly looks away from my gaze, I feel myself become a bit disappointed because I couldn't capture the look in her eyes on time. Alex's eyes have a quality that could hypnotize someone, and I'm definitely that person who's underneath her spell.

"I should uh-, get some sleep." She says, slightly stuttering.

"Oh, uh-, yeah. You're right. I hope you sleep well tonight." I say.

I still remember how petrified she looked after she had hallucinated during her sleep paralysis. How out of breath she was, and how her body trembled with fear while we hugged. This girl has been through so much. She's suffered through so much. The way she looked at her mother when she first walked into her hospital room is a look that I won't forget. The way her body completely froze in horror, and how her skin instantly went pale with fear.

I just want to comfort her the best that I can. That's why I took her here.

She's been through a lot. I just want to help her.

I want-, I need to be there for her.

I watch as she wraps herself in my blanket, and how she slowly closes her eyes. She looks so peaceful. Like nothing has ever happened to her. Part of me aches for Alex, wishing that I could heal the wounds from her past, but then I remember that there's no person relationship between us. I need to be careful and not cross a line with her, especially since she's so emotionally damaged, I don't want to be another person who disappoints her.

I quickly walk out of the room, and I shut the door behind me.

I've taken this girl into my house, cooked breakfast for this girl. There's so many other things I've thought of doing for her, and I'm beginning to realize just how ridiculous this really is. Over the span of a couple of days, I've completely developed feelings for someone who's just supposed to be my patient, and nothing more. Yet, I cannot stop myself from having these feelings and urges.

What's she doing to me?

I have no idea, but I like it.