"Uhhh, it isn't fair," I whine, practically stamping my feet as Liam sighs down the other end of the phone.

"I wish I could be here, Katie girl. I really do."

"It's just typical, my first New Years Eve with a boyfriend, and my father sends him on a run!"

"I know it sucks, how about tomorrow when I'm back we do our own countdown."

Still pouting, I finally agree that it's better than nothing, anything with Liam is better than nothing.

"Yeah that sounds pretty good." I tease, making Liam chuckle gloriously, then it stops.

"I've got to go, Katie girl."

I open my mouth to reply but the line has already gone dead, my guess is something urgent has come up.

Sighing, I place my phone on the bed and then walk downstairs to find my father. We always spend new year's together and I hardly want to break tradition tonight.

"Hey, Katie." My dad smiles from the sofa and opens his arms up for a hug from me. I hold him briefly, and then pull away.

A part of me resents him for keeping Liam and I in secret, and I wish he had let me live more.

Dad frowns at my actions as I settle on the other end of the sofa to him, but says nothing. My father is not the person I want to be curled up with now, I want Liam.

"Are you looking forward to New Years?" My dad asks, grinning at me. I shrug noncommittally at him and keep watching to television.

"What's up with you?" My father demands, looking bad tempered and fed up with me.

It's like I can never have an off day, never be quiet or reflective. I always have to be the same smiley faces little girl I was ten years ago, but I'm not that person anymore. Always pretending to be her, it's exhausting me.

"Do you blame me for mum?" I ask abruptly, the question has been gnawing at me ever since Liam and I celebrated my birthday, and now there's no stopping it. I've given it a voice, the question has taken hold of the room.

My father opens his mouth to respond.

Then he shuts it again.

Then he opens it again.

"Katie, where's this coming from?"

"So you do resent me for what happened then." It's a statement now, not a question.

"No, no, of course it wasn't your fault. It's just the way things were."

"Then why do we never celebrate my birthday?"

"You know why we don't Katie."

"I know now, but when I was three, I didn't. You just never gave me a birthday dad!"

"Where's all this coming from, Katie? You're 18 now, you won't be having any more birthdays at home."

"I've never had a birthday at home!"

I stand, anger fuming in my chest at my father's refusal to understand why as I child, I always felt like it was my fault mum was gone. Like it was my fault we never a family.

My father scoffs and turns the television volume up, effectively dismissing me from his presence. Scoffing myself, I storm out of the room.

All I wanted was for him to immediately tell me of course it wasn't your fault mum was gone and I'm sorry we never celebrated your birthday, we should have done.

Anything like that would have been better than what he said.

Sighing, I throw myself on the bed and bite my lip to stop from crying. I never knew my mum, but sometimes I miss the person she could have been in my life.

I wince when the front door slams shut.

My father has obviously gone out for a drink, he has never been one for talking through problems, he normally waits for me to apologise and then we move on.

I wish I could call Liam, better yet, I wish Liam was here with me.

Turning over, I curl up into a small ball and close my eyes.

My sleep is broken suddenly, leaving me disoriented and groggy. I realise what woke me when the noise repeats again.

A heavy tapping of a rock against my window makes me jump.

Pulling back my curtains, I look out into the ridiculously early dawn morning and see Liam standing below my window.

"Liam!" I gasp as I see the bloodied and bruised form looking up at me.

Not even caring if my father is back or still at the bar, I race down the stairs and throw the front door open.

"Lee," the frown on my lip deepens as his appearance is even worse up close, "what happened?"

He walks slowly through the door, attempting and failing to hide the wince and stiffness of his movements.

"I got attacked, your father he uhhh... don't worry."

He shakes his head as he trails off, I reach for his hand and hold it tight.

"Let's get you cleaned up." I say softly, I've nursed a few of my father's wounds before and I know what to do.

Liam stays silent, bruised and in pain as I lead him up the stairs and into my ensuite bathroom. He collapses on the toilet and I can see his eyes are tearful.

Without saying a word, I reach for some antiseptic and gauze. I wet the gauze in cooling water and then reach for Liam's lip.

He winces and I gently cup his cheek.

"It's alright Lee," I say softly as I rests his cheek against my stomach, "what happened?"

"I got attacked." He mumbles hoarsely as I continue to dab and clean his cuts; his split lip, his black eye, his bloody cheek.

"Why were you alone?"

It's only when I speak that I realise I'm crying too. I've always been an empath, and now, seeing Liam injured like this, my emotions are uncontrollable.

"I wasn't meant to be... it... it doesn't matter, Katie girl."

"It does matter." I defend as I dab antiseptic in his cuts.

"Your father, he told me there would be back up, and there was... until things got bad and he withdrew them all."

I feel sick.

There are no words for what I'm feeling, for what I've heard.

"He didn't?" I gasp, the question already answered.

Liam would never lie to me, which makes the truth in what he's saying even worse.

"Am I ok?" He asks, attempting a teasing smirk which fails.

"You're ok." I bend down and kiss him lightly on the only bruise free place on his cheek.

"Let's go to bed," I whisper as I clutch his hand in mine.

"Bed? Or bed?" Liam asks with a naughty glint as he stands up.

"Lee," I grin up at him, "if you can get it up, we can."

He attempts to smirk and then groans as the impact of his footfalls fires up his body.

"Perhaps not tonight, ehh Katie girl?"