Chapter 8

Jerking in my sleep i could hear the cry of my little girl sending me into a frenzy. Awaking from a deep sleep was never a happy time for me, but a mother would sacrifice her sleep for her little baby.

As I tried to get up a heavy hand lay on my stomach. Turning towards the culprit I heaved the arm off. To my surprise James had slept through the torturing cry of a little baby. He is one heavy sleeper I laughed watching him sleep peacefully.

I leaned over her cot, gently placing my hands under her back; I lifted her up tenderly cradling in her arms. Her cries got even louder, I knew she was definitely hungry.

I turned towards James blushing as

i removed his arms from my toros. i carried Alina to the kitchen making a bottle of milk.

Being two she didn't wake up as much as she did when she was smaller. Once her bottle was made I ran back upstairs.

I tiredly sat back into the bed as Alina drank her bottle. I yawned and my eyes turned towards James who slept peacefully.

But heart plummeted when I thought of Adam. I remembered the moment we were alone. He was always sweet and charming, that was the real Adam I got to know. I wondered why he didn't want people to see the real him. Looking back now I could only frown at the distant memories. Every time I remembered him it seemed to be always about by the horror of the rape. I shook away the thoughts and held back my tears. What he did to me is unforgivable. I wanted to forgive him but my heart couldn't forgive what he had done. I was truly broken.

I stroked her hair, her curly hair had grown allot since she was born. Her skin had gotten tanner, achieving a natural glow. She looked so unreal but yet so real. I thought about my life if I hadn't been exiled. Would I be able to look at the mate that had hurt me? Could I look at the people who I called family? Most of all, could I allow Adam to be her father?

I know I'm being selfish, The risk was too deadly to let him near her.

"You know you're beautiful" a husky voice spoke. I jumped up, my heart pounding from shock. Alina finally finished her eyes gently closing. She was finally fast asleep so I settled her back into the cot.

"Who is Alina's father?" he asked tenderly after I got comfortable. My gaze turned away from his..

I froze slightly as I felt his tender voice speak out to me. He realised my stiff body as he sign. He has never asked about Alina's father before. But now all of a sudden he asks about him.

"Why do you ask?" my voice wasn't clear. I wasn't going to cry over Adam.

Every time I remembered him and that Alina is his daughter, it always sends me into a pool of tears. But not anymore. I'm fed up of crying over people that caused me grief. The people that caused me much distress and pain. The people that I thought would love me and protect me, but they are the only ones who hurt me the most.

Everytime I stare into Alina's eyes, it always reminds me of his. The eyes that haunts me. The eyes that stared back at me while I was weak. The eyes, that looked at me with hatred and anger. My mate's eyes, the piercing green eyes.

"You never talk about him do you" James added

"Yes well he's my mate" I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting this conversation to carry on any longer.

"So why aren't you by his side? Raising your child together" he didn't get the hint and threw another question at me.

I doubt it Adam would ever let me by his side; he would have thought I'm a weak alpha female for his pack.

"He kicked me out" this time my voice trembled. Only if James stood by my side and watched the moments of horror. The moment when each tear rolled down my bruised up cheek's, the moment I cried my way out. Only if he was with me. He would be my only saviour.

He's my only knight shining armour. Not my bother nor my mate. Only James.

"What do you mean? Your mate is the alpha" he asked confused. Since only the alpha can exile you from the pack. I nodded in response.

I never told James much about my mate; I just thought it wasn't important. I was starting a new life and leaving my old one behind so no need to bring it up. But I guess I would be totally honest with the only guy who has given me this life. "How could he do that you're his mate" his jaw clenched, while he hissed.

James never spoke much about his mate. Mainly I think because he can't be bothered finding his. But when he spoke about mines it wasn't like him. Only if he knew what I went through for years. The pain and emotion's that my soul went through. My heart felt weak and damaged. It's broken goods that can never be repaired.

"Well he has never been the best alpha. My old pack is now known for their ruthless attacks."

'The ruthless Teel pack' is the new name of my old pack. Before it was called 'The Teel moon pack' but since Adam took over he changed it. It has been said that my old pack are starting to be known for their ruthless and ferocious attacks. There has been no pack that has ever defeated them since I left, no rogues or hunters dare's to enter their territory. Which is good because less attack on the pack, but I feel sorry for the member's.

Since I left I know Adams wolf has been crying out to me and the reason for his wolfs attack is because of my loss.

No matter what I love his wolf, it's just Adam I can't face. His human side makes me sick to my stomach. His wolf has always been loving and protective but Adam has never been anything like his wolf.

"What did he do to you?" this time he was more cautious scooting closer to me, while he sat up beside me.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you have a baby with him and yet you don't want him to know about her. I know he rejected you and bullied you, but you can't just keep Alina away from him" his voice held a disappointed.

I couldn't fight back my tears as one rolled down my cheek's. I aggressively wiped it away, avoiding any eye contact with James. I really want to tell him what Adam did but I didn't want him to look at me with disappointment either.

He sat closer, as I looked into his eyes; they showered me love and pity. I hated the way people look at me with pity. I'm not weak. "He raped me James" Finally my tears exploded. My heart cried out while my hands clenched into fists. I wept while I felt his strong arms wrap me up like a cacoon. I felt safe.

His grip was tight, and I could hear his breathing hitching, I could hear his bone snapping, I knew he was going to turn into his a wolf.

"James" he didn't even look at me or answer me. I touched the side of his cheek, so I could turn his face towards me. I cupped his face . Hiccupping, staying strong I spoke finally "I don't want you to feel sorry for me. Everything happens for a reason, if I hadn't been exiled, I would never have this career. Become this independent. Most of all I would have never met you. I'm glad everything had happened to me, look at me now." He chuckled, knowing what he's turn me into. Someone who's strong and someone who can put up a fight. Before I never used my strength instead I held back when people treated me like dirt. "Most of all he gave me Alina." My hands were shaking violently. I hadn't even realised. It was the fear of my past that was making me like this.

Their goes what I said about people feeling pity for me. But it hurt's so much; the agonizing pain that you feel realising your own soul mate hates you. He hates you so much that he will carry out any dirty act to emotionally or physically scar you.

"Look, we are going France tomorrow, so maybe it will help you. We shall call it a vacation not for business. I'll take care of your models." Even though I wanted him to take over everything, knowing him he would just try and get my models into his bedroom and no way am I having that. "I'm not going to get into their pants, I'll be strictly professional"

Thinking about France, was annoying me slightly. The reason being, is because I have never left Alina alone with a nanny. I don't even have a nanny, but James had called a nanny to take Alina for 2 weeks. Apparently she's really good, but since I am really protective over Alina it had been a really tough decision for me. I'm not a person to have nanny, my child is my responsibility so I never like people taking care of my baby. Just thinking of leaving my Alina behind really irritated me. I didn't want to leave, but I remember it's business.

"James will you always be here for me? Even if my past catches up to me, even if people want to hurt me" I asked

"I will always be by your side. You don't have to ask" I laid into his arms.