Chapter 27

"I demand answers now!" I roared.

James sat lazily on the couch watching some TV while I was fuming for answers. Never in my life have I ever felt so angry with a person. We were meant to tell each other everything and here he sits and watches TV like nothing happened.

He strolled down the programmes and settled to watch jersey shore. He looked so intense while he watched a fight scene between some immature adults. If he wants some drama, I'll give him some.

I walked up to him grabbing the remote and switching the TV off. I threw the remote across the room, so he would be able to get it that had made him glare at me- at least I have his attention "Are you Jesse's mate?" I hissed, searching for any answers in his eyes. But all I saw was amusement and his body shook with laughter wanting to come out. I glared at him, giving him daggers. That had made him laugh hysterically. "What is so funny?" I questioned, with my arms across my chest.

He rolled on to his stomach, laughing at me and hitting the coffee table while at it. I looked at him puzzled. Why was he laughing? I'm being serious and he chooses to laugh at this time. I hated Jesse and if they are mates mate, it isn't a topic to laugh hysterically at.

I kicked his body which held laughter in him. When my foot connected to the side of his stomach he instantly looked up at me smiling with amusement, but frowned once I glared at him. He stopped laughing and got up, straightening himself while he was at it.

"I am not Jesse's mate." He finally replied. I knew he wasn't lying, because he sounded so genuine. He laughed aloud throwing a cushion at me, which had made me catch straight away because it was more of a reflex.

I finally felt relief that Jesse wasn't his mate. He was too good for her and she was a complete bitch. If James was even her mate I'd probably talk him out of mating her. I know it's cruel, and I've mentioned I will be there for him. But Jesse is so evil and she wouldn't be right for him. She doesn't know how to treat people, she's probably walk all over him. And I knew James he'd probably let her because she was his mate, a guys weakness is always his mate. And Jesse being Jesse would take advantage of it and probably cheat ion James.

I always thought my father was a brilliant man, but destiny gave him an immature mate and a useless son, and a slutty daughter, and well I'm the only normal one, I think. Sure I'm not bad as them, but I feel so depressed at times, I feel like the worlds closing up on me. I just hope life can get easy for me and everyone around me.

I looked back at James. The shocking part of the day was when James looked up at her. It was like he recognised her and wanted nothing to do with her. He felt disgusted and surprised at the same time.

"Then why did you pull away from her" I asked curiously. Had Jesse done something with James? How did he know her?

"Look first off I don't have a mate and I'm sure of it." He said ignoring my question. It was like he was hiding something big. Something he didn't want me to know. Something that could trigger a memory that he kept hidden from the world to see. But the shiver that went up his spine when I mentioned her name didn't go unnoticed. He looked so disgusted when I mentioned her name.

I opened my mouth again to repeat the same question, but James glare made me keep quiet. "Drop it" James growled. I stood there in utter shock. James was never this defensive, and how can someone be so sure that he doesn't have a mate. This doesn't make sense? If Jesse wasn't his mate then who was?

"Who is she?" I asked this time I grew impatient. He just stood there, with a firm glare that could kill me. Sure I was upset the way he got so defensive when I asked about whoever this mate of his is. But why get all angry with me? He shouldn't have leaded me on. I thought he loved me and out their somewhere his mate is walking around. So why does he have to play with me.

I felt hurt. Is he using me? Does he have any feelings towards me? Is this a joke to him? Does Alina mean nothing to him? Why would he make me go through all this crap?

I felt anger bubbling up inside me. That bastard! He's the only person i can trust. I trust him with my heart. And here he's only messing me around. I felt so hurt and betrayed by his actions and words. How cloud he?

"What?" he asked looking confused.

"I said, who is she?" this time all the anger that bottled up inside me, I let it out. I sounded like a bitch, but I dint care. If I'm nothing to him, he's nothing to me. He stayed their keeping his mouth closed. So his mate is out their somewhere.

All the torture my mate and family put me through was all taken out on James. He was meant to be better than them all. He was the one to take my broken heart and fix it, but he's the only one to break me again. I felt crying my sorrow away again. I love James. I know nothing could ever happen, but where is the love we had before. The kiss and love we shared. It's all gone.

"James, who the fuck is she!" I cried.

"Please Mariah drop it" he begged while his tears swarmed in his eyes. The vulnerability and sadness on his face told me something wasn't right here. He must have met his mate. I felt guilty for shouting at me, but then I remembered he played with my heart.

"You're just like them! But you're much worse" I spat bitterly. He looked hurt and his jaws clenched, he looked so sexy, but i hated him right now.

"She's dead!" he screamed. I was taken aback. He stood their growls vibrating from his chest, he breathed in heavily. His tears poured out, he looked at me shaking his head. He turned around so his back was to me. He leaned against the wall. I could hear his cries which were whispers. He was crying for his decease mate. I felt like a bitch.

I stood there looking at his back in disbelief. I still couldn't believe his the two words which escaped his lips. She was dead. Part of my heart was breaking. James is such a good alpha and the main part of him got taken away from him, his mate. She was meant to rule beside him, give him his children. I felt so guilty, the way I acted like a stubborn person. James lost his mate, and here mates are abusing their mate, when people like James has lost theirs.

That was the reason he never spoke about mates or even mentioned it to me. The reason why he never believes in them. It was all because his mate had died. She had left the earth, leaving him in distress. A large part of him was now gone, so here he is now faced with sorrow.

I felt tears swarming in my own eyes. James didn't deserve any of this. Sure I love him but I would rather have him have a mate than him being with me.

I was being childish, the fact that his life was much worse than mine. Sure my past hurt, but his has to be more painful. He has no family, nobody he can speak to. He keeps his emotions hidden away from anyone before they could reach them. It must be hard to lose a mate. From seeing my mothers reaction and James they were so different. But no matter what it looked painful to lose a mate. And James is still young, and a young alpha werewolf who has lost his mate already.

From what I have heard, losing a mate is much worse than anything imaginable. Some say most wolves that lose their mate at a young age, go all rogue. Some say they are dead at heart, and he has nothing to live for. But what shocks me more is that most people mention them as living zombies.

But the shock was James didn't look anything compared to the things a person would go when they lose a mate. No, James looked like most alphas. He is full of life, full of determination and full of joy. I felt annoyed I couldn't detect any of it. I'm a useless friend.

I walked up to him quietly, talking each step silent and slowly. I lifted up my hand slowly, putting a hand on top his shoulder. I could feel his body shaking violently, while he just wept. I moved around his body, so the space between him and the wall had me in between it. I took his trembling body into my hold. He easily melted his body and soul into me. I wrapped my arms around him comforting like a mother to her child. This is the first ever time I had seen James this emotional or even cry. James always seems so happy, seeing him like this surprised me.

I would never understand how it feels like to lose a mate. But watching a strong headed alpha, weep in my arms, pouring his heart out meant it wasn't an experience of anyone's life.

Part of me felt sorry for my mother, but here is a perfectly example, James has lost his mate, and he doesn't drink or do drugs, and matter of fact he's turned out okay. Sure he's hurting inside but he's not abusive like my mother or even my mate. What does Adam have in his life that is so bad that he can be this violent and aggressive? James had a tough time.

"Mariah I loved her so much. But they took her" he whispered.

I stood their not understanding a thing. Was she murdered? I didn't have the courage to ask him. Maybe next time would be a better time to ask him. He seems so venerable and asking him such a question may make him go worse than this.

"Who?" I questioned, when I was able to find my voice.

"The people who were meant to be my family" he cried out, but his fists were balled up. I quickly took his fists in my palm squeezing it. He unclenched his fists staring at me, with surprise. The sudden surprise of me taking his fist in my hold and involuntary cooling him down. I was shocked myself, which had made me pull my hands away from him, but he just looked so sad by my actions. I felt like i was his medicine, I was someone to him like his mate was. But i refused to believe it. "They killed her because she was the daughter of the enemy alpha. It was all status and pride to them. They didn't care that she was my mate. They didn't care she was going to rule by my side. No all they cared about was their stupid fucking pride." He cried out

Now I knew why his reaction to his father- tom was the way it was. But something doesn't add up, I wouldn't believe tom would do something like that. I just think it could be a misunderstanding and James must have jumped to conclusion. But I scratched all my thoughts when I looked up at his face. He was determined that his own father had killed his mate.

I didn't feel any jealous about his mate; I just wished she was alive. I would do anything to bring her back. James doesn't deserve this. It's sicker that his family took her away from him. It just angers me that he could have a life and a family with her but no they took it away from him. He could have been my alpha and my life wouldn't be so messed up.

We both slid onto the gorund while his body shook in my arms. I held him protectivley, like how i hold Alina.

"James they are nothing but bastards. They don't deserve anything. I have no words to express myself on how your feeling. Sure I've been through shit, but not like you. My father always told me; when you find your inner self, praise it. Praise it for the fact that it had still kept you strong. James most wolves that have lost their mates have gone rogue. And here you're still a happy man. James your the only person I feel worth living for, sure I love Alina and wouldn't want to commit suicide. But when I met you, you were another reason for me to stay strong"

James was leaning against me as our bodies were squashed together. I sat against the wall stroking his hair. I gently placed a kiss on his forehead. He looked into my eyes, tilting his head. The tears once their disappeared, he looked at me with consideration.

"You do know Adam is my brother" he said sheepishly, but his expression showed disgust and danger. But the sadness in his eyes didn't go unseen.

I went grid for a second, repeating his words that were now killing me with daggers, "W-what?" I stuttered, still trying to understand the fact that Adam is his brother.

"Your bastard mate is my little arrogant brother" venom dripped forms each word that spat out of his mouth. He shook his head in both disappointment anger, when his brothers name was mentioned. I bet he still loves his little brother but hearing from what he had done, definitely upsets James. I bet it's hard for him to believe his own little brother could be this vicious.

That is the reason why James goes quiet when Adams name is mentioned. I realise how stupid I am not picking up on any of the obvious signs. James is Adams brother. Btu they are nothing alike. While James is actually a good reasonable alpha, Adam is a ruthless, disappointment for an alpha.

"Does that mean Tom took her away?" i asked carefully.

All those years I have known tom, i knew he wouldn't do something so horrific. But it seems like people just shock you. I felt so angry. His own flesh and blood killed his mate. They took her away from him. They must understand that a mate will always be a mate. I felt my wolf trying to take over, trying to reach the surface. But I pushed her back down. What was done is done. We can't bring her back. If let my heart breaking for his mate and especially for him. He has to bear with the pain.

I ran my hair through his hair, while he fiddled with stubble. I could tell he was nervous about talking about his family, but I had to get this over and done with. So far we have established, he's Adams brother, his mate had gotten murdered by his father. It just saddens me more is listening the pain in his voice when he spoke about it.

"Yes" he answered.

I felt my heart breaking when his vice just didn't sound like the happy James. It was a different James. I felt tears prickling in my eyes. Not because of my life but because of his. I don't care about my past or what happened. Right now James life is what I need to look into.

"Oh James "I whispered as I threw myself on him. Sure I was shaken up by the fact that this is Alina's uncle and Adams brother. But what Tom has done is disgusting. He killed his own sons mate.

"James how come I have never recognised you?" I whispered while he cuddled up to me.

"Because I was hardly around, you children." He laughed, which just earned him a smack. "I've seen you few times playing with Brad and my little brother."

"You have?"

"Yes. That's why your name rung a bell. Adam would come home saying 'Mariah this, Mariah that'. He had one of the biggest crush on you. He always came up to me, saying what if I'm not her mate. As a big brother I would just give him hope. But is funny how it planned out."

"He liked me" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes he did. Adam was always quiet and shy. But around you he would act all macho. But now I'm not so sure. He's not the same little brother i use to have. I still can't get my head around why he's such a pathetic, ignorant person. He raped you and abused you. That's not the little bother I use to know."

"Then are you Leo?" i aksed finally undertsnading why Tom, Tammy and Adam had called him Leo.

"Yes I use to be called Leo. But I changed it. Too much memorys are bought back by that name. Every time she would say Leo in my name in her angelic voice, made me cry. It brought to much memories. I changed myself so everything that triggers my memory about her would be erased."

"What's her name?"

"Aretha." He whispered her name breathlessly; a smile came onto his features. He looked in a daze when he said her name. It made me smile that at least part of her was still alive, she may not be alive, but in his heart she grows and grows. I wish I could have met Aretha she seems amazing and perfect for James. Sure I never met her but she seems amazing.

"She must have been amazing" I said, having my own daze about his perfect mate, a giggle slipped through my lips as i could imagine James running around like a love sick puppy for her. James gave me a confused laugh, which made me laugh.

"She always has been." He spoke tenderly, staring into a distance, and then his eyes met mine.

"James or Leo" I giggled. I referred to both names. But the frown on his face made me stop. we both were in silent, as his head still stayed on my lap while I stroked his hair.

"James do you remember my dad?" my voice almost broke down but i held it together.

He surely must know my father if he knows me as a child. The happy times I thought to myself.

"Yes" he said breathlessly. "I remembered him being one of the most trusted men in our pack. When my father forced the role onto me, being an alpha, your father would try to stop my father being so strong headed in his views. He would support me and understand me. To be honest you have turned out like your father. You know when we met my parents at the supermarket." I nodded, remembering the day in such detail. "Well that had been the day I had put all the pieces together. Adam being the alpha, which happens to be your mate, and then the name Mariah rung a bell, and Mercedes was a big give away, I finally came into realisation who you really were. Anthony's little girl. I remember him always talking about you to. He always said my little Mariah. I'd laugh at the time because he'd refer you as a little angel, but when you were away playing with Adam you'd seem like a devil" he snorted.

"Well in my defence he did pull my hair, and give me cooties" i whined, defending myself, which just made him laugh at me.

"Will you go back to him?" James asked all of a sudden, while a sad face came onto his features.

"No!" I snapped. "After what he's done to me I don't think so" i gritted my teeth.

I may have been weak and pathetic back in the day, but no way in hell will i ever go back to him or anybody who tortured me. Sure I'm not mean, but i won't take shit form anyone anymore. I have a life of my own and no way will a start a new one with Adam.

"Thank god" he muttered under his breath. I ignored the comment but i was still curious to why he was smiling. I rejected his little brother and here he's smiling at me.

"How do you know Jesse?" i asked, still curious as to how they both knew one another.

"Well it's embarrassing to say" he said sighing.

"Tell me" I begged.

"No!" he begged with his eyes for me to stop begging. But i needed to know how they both knew one another.

"Tell me!" I whined

"Well.... she use to be my stalker" I burst into laughter, while he looked pained and definitely not amused... Jesse a stalker. No wonder why he looked disturbed when he had looked up at her. He shivered again and shaking his head like remembering her name was dirt.

I felt bad for doubting him and I truly understand now why he keeps his entire secret from me.

James intervened our hands together, playing with strands of my hair. He lay perfectly onto my lap. It shocked at how intimate and lovey dovey we look. But i could tell this wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. This was something genuine.

"Mariah?"

"Hmm" he got up from my lap looking up at me.

"You know after I lost her, I thought I would be a dead person inside but it all changed. All changed once when a girl had a little girl and she walked into my life."

"What?" I was slightly confused but shocked to what he was saying? Was he referring it to me?

James took my face in his soft palms boring his grey eyes into my chocolate brown ones. His eyes twinkled while he stared at me.