I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing. Groaning, I turned around, sat up straight and opened the notification.

Keep it up.

Like that was going to motivate me.

Those three words aren't the reason why I've been sober for the past eleven months. In fact, it was my mother's diary that made me realise that I could've continued down the road of self destruction after Emilia's death. It was those wonderful memories that I shared with my mother and my best friend that have kept me alive all these months. But now, belonging to a group where I feel so appreciated and loved, was the best feeling in the world. Not only that, but being with Daniel also made me realise that I could still fight this fight.

However, they still don't know my past. Daniel may know the overall summary of my life before I moved to the States, but I know for sure that if I tell him about my depression and addiction, he will look at me in a different way and that shit scares me. So yeah, for a former addict, eleven months is a lot, but it still feels so little.

I sighed and tossed my phone to the side and headed to the shower. Whilst the steam filled the bathroom, I glanced at the mirror, where my naked body was reflected. At first, nothing special is shown, but the more you stare, the more you realise that the tiny little details can make a difference, like the scar on my hip when they removed my appendix, the birthmark of my left leg or the tattoo that showed on my rib cage. But the most important ones were the scars on my wrists. They were faint, however, the more you stared, the clearer the lines became. Once my reflection was translucent with the steam, I hopped into the shower and placed my forehead against the cold wall as I allowed the scorching hot water cascade over my body.

And more were to come.

***

"Yo Astrid!" Jack called out. "Daniel needs your help for some Spanish shit."

"And why wouldn't he text me?" Mason asked. "I'm always the one who helps him."

Oh boy, isn't he oblivious?

"Because, this is Daniel's attempt to flirt with Astrid," Alex explained. "I mean seriously, are you that dumb?" I laughed at his comment, that caused Mason to frown. However that frown quickly disappeared once Gigi kissed him on the cheek.

"Ew stop!" Stephanie groaned. "I can't stand your guys in a relationship!"

"Yeah it's exhausting!" Chelsea backed her up. "I mean, Steph, Astrid and I are the only single ones here."

Hehe, if only they knew...

"What about me?" Alex complained. "I'm single too!"

"At least you have girls throwing themselves at you! I have no one!" Stephanie pointed out as Alex grinned at her.

"What can I say," he pointed himself. "Girls can't resist this masterpiece." Stephanie threw a scrunched up napkin in Alex's direction, which he managed to avoid. I laughed as picked my bag up and headed to where Mason was.

"Do you know where Daniel is?"

"He's probably by your locker, waiting or something." I nodded and I was about to turn around when I saw Gigi eyeing me.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I quickly ran a hand across my face to check if I had anything.

"No, you're fine." I sighed and began to walk away. "But I don't recall any homework given in class."

Oh shit.

I slowly turned around and let out a shaky laugh, "Oh, just something we revised a few days ago. Anyways I should go." Turning around, I rushed out of the dining hall. Phew, that was a close one.

Once I was a few feet away, my phone buzzed. Pulling it out, I saw it was Daniel.

Did you leave the group?

Yeah, where are you?

bio class

on my way

I noticed that I had only ten minutes spare before lunch break was over, so I picked up my pace and hurried to where Daniel was waiting. Checking the halls, I knocked on the door. Daniel quickly opened the door and dragged me in. Once the door was closed, he took two steps and towered over me.

"Hey," he smiled as he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Hi," I smiled back at him.

He arched his neck and placed his lips on mine whilst his hands cupped both my cheeks. My hands automatically went up to his nape as I slightly tugged the hairs that weren't covered by the beanie, warning a little moan from him. He trickled kisses down to my jaw, finding the soft spot on my neck.

"So this is the Spanish homework you had trouble with?" I smirked, trying to control my breath.

"Yup," he looked up, his gaze meeting mine. "But I kinda understand it now."

"Of course you do," I chuckled as I played with the buttons of his flannel. "I think they are getting suspicious."

"The group?" I nodded, causing him to sigh.

"I want to tell them, but I'm still not ready," I mumbled, lowering my head, staring at the ground.

"Hey," he pulled my chin up, his green eyes meeting my deep brown ones. "I'm ready when you're ready. Deal?"

I nodded with a small smile and pecked his lips. A strand of his sandy blonde hair fell onto his forehead and I slightly pushed it back, watching him as his gaze was fixated onto my hand. "You free after school?"

"Is Daniel Matthews asking me out on a date?" I gasped mockingly as I watched him go red. "Who knew this would happen!"

"Oh shut up," he rolled his eyes, his cheeks still tainted. "Yes, I am. What do you want to do?"

"In that case," I snaked my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "Movie after school?' I bit my lip.

"Perfect," he smiled, eyes flashing.

Our kisses began soft and delicate, till it became rough. We were so consumed with each other, we ignored the door being opened.

"So this is the Spanish homework you were referring to Daniel?" A voice echoed, causing Daniel and I to break apart.

With our eyes wide with shock, our heads whipped to the door, where Mason was leaning casually against the door frame with a sly grin plastered onto his face.

😖