Marcus returned sometime later and walked straight past Jade's door, not in the mood to deal with her. She had become unpredictable. One minute she would be blank, the next she was screaming and throwing plates at you. Her moods change in the blink of an eye and she was difficult to deal with. Marcus mentioned it to the doctor, and they said to bring her in for further testing, but Jade wouldn't leave her house. Her family stopped seeing her every day and though Marcus understood, it was almost as if they had given up on her. 

They now see her once a week and normally she just stares into space, ignoring them all. He knew he should remind Jade of her occupational therapy appointment, but he knew there was no point when she wouldn't go. She refused to leave the house. She refused to do anything but yell at him. Marcus knew what it looked like when someone gave up, and that is what Jade had done.

She had given up.

Marcus knew the only thing keeping her alive was her brain damage because he knew if her body remembered how she wouldn't be here. He was stuck on a sinking boat where he couldn't leave and knew he would only end up hurt.

He wanted to shake Jade and drag her out of the house. Realistically he could, but he didn't want to deal with the backlash of Jade and losing her trust. He opened another beer, and he knew he was drinking too much, but it took the edge off.

He quickly drank the whole drink, not tasting a single bit before walking over to Jade. He didn't bother knocking on the door and when he walked into her room he wasn't surprised to see her lying on the floor again. 

It tempted him to pick up her sleeping body and take her anywhere but here, but he didn't. He walked out of the room leaving her on the floor and sat on the couch waiting for the sleeping dragon to wake up. He knew he should put her in her bed, but she would just yell at him when she woke up if he did. He learnt that the hard way. 

When Jade woke up from her nap she wasn't surprised to see herself on the floor. She knew Marcus was in the house because she could hear him in her kitchen.

"Can you help me?" She yelled and soon he was standing in her doorway, furious. He crossed his arms over his chest, causing his muscle to bulge out of his shirt.

"Oh, so now you want my help?" He raised a single eyebrow at Jade, and she glared back at it.

"Yes." She gritted through her teeth hating to ask for help.

"Why should I help you, Jade? Whenever I try to help you push me away or throw plates at me." Jade pushed herself up as she continued to glare at him.

"Well, if you will not help, fuck off then." She tried to get herself into her chair and failed. Her brain still told her to use her legs, but they no longer worked.

Marcus stood there and watched her struggle a few times before sighing and picked her up, back into her chair. She was weighing less and less every day. He tried to make her eat, which usually ended up cursing him out, so he gave up and let Jade do what she wanted. There was only so much he could do. 

Once Jade was in her, she wheeled herself into her lounge room and turned on the tv for noise.

"You need a shower," Marcus said as he followed behind Jade and he wasn't surprised when she said nothing, but stare blankly at the wall.

"You also have an appointment tomorrow at 1 pm." He waited for a response but got nothing.

"You going to talk to me or just sit there and stare at that fucking wall for the rest of the day." Jade wheeled herself round and stared up at Marcus.

"What would you like me to talk about? How I can't walk, or how fucking fried my brain is, I can't even remember how to brush my teeth. Or how I shouldn't even be fucking alive. Would you like to talk about how I wish I was dead because being dead is better than a fried cripple." She saw Marcus flinch, and she wheeled herself closer.

"Would you like me to talk about, how if I could hold a razor blade I would happily slit my wrist and not have a second thought about it. If my body remembered how to kill myself, I would, because I don't want to be like this. You should have fucking let me die." She punched Marcus's stomach because that was all she could reach. She wanted to slap him across the face for saving her, but she couldn't reach.

"You should have fucking let me die in that horrid country. Instead, you made me like this. You made me a cripple and I fucking hate you for it. I hate that you wanted to save me and couldn't let me die to save everyone else. I don't even fucking care that you left without telling me because even then I didn't hate you the way I hate you now." Jade was panting as tears ran down her face. Her body and mind felt so heavy as she was struggling to keep up with everything going around her.

She looked up at Marcus and saw the hard lines etched across his face. His eyes were telling her one thing while his face and body language told her another. She watched as he bent down to her height and placed his hands on either side of her chair, so he was eye level with her.

"I would rather you hate me than you be dead. I have seen too many men sacrifice themselves, and I would not let it happen to you. You should be glad you came home because not everybody did, Jade. i tried to save you but don't be blaming me when I didn't save you." With that, Marcus left Jade with a frown on her face. Jade tried to remember what happened, but every time she did a headache would start.

"Wait!" She yelled as Marcus got to the door. He stopped and turned around to see Jade still in the same spot he left her.

"Who. Who was it?" She prayed it wasn't her team, but the ache in her gut told her otherwise.

"Corporal Taylor." Marcus watched as Jade's world shattered once again and instead of staying he left because he was a coward and didn't want to hear Jade blame him for saving her and not her teammate.

Jade watched as Marcus shut the front door and when he was gone she clutched her stomach and screamed. She didn't care who heard her as she screamed out in pain as her heart splinted into two.

She knew. She knew it had turned to shit. It was meant to be her. Instead, she was a cripple and had lost someone who was too young and full of life to leave this world. She rested her head on her useless legs and cried. She cried for her friend and his family; she cried for herself and cried about everything. However, bubbling under the surface of pain and grief was anger and hatred. Not only for Marcus but hatred in herself.

Once the tears were gone Jade felt numb. It was a numbness that spread through her body and didn't stop. With a numb heart and mind, she wheeled herself over to where she kept her secret stash and grabbed the first bottle of alcohol she could find.

She cracked open the lid and took a swing. The taste of whisky burned her throat, and she didn't care as she took another sip. She knew she shouldn't drink, with the heavy medication she was on, but she didn't care. The liquor warmed her body, as her mind slowly turned to slush. The numbness in her body disappeared and was soon replaced with a void of nothing.

She swung the bottle to her mouth again and placed it between her legs and wheeled herself over to her couch. She grabbed her remote and put on some mind-numbing tv and she slowly made her way through the bottle of whiskey all too quickly.

Marco drew the short straw after dinner on who would see Jade. He thought it was sad that they had to draw straws literally, but after hearing her meltdown a few hours ago neither of the brothers wanted to deal with the backlash.

"Why did you tell her? She wasn't ready?" Marco finally asked. The sound of Jade screaming would be something that would haunt his memories for a while. The raw sound of grief was enough to make any grown man scarce.

"Would you rather her angry and sad than what she has been? She is wasting away. I would rather she hates me for the rest of my life then see her waste away to nothing." Marco shook his head, wishing sometimes his brother would think before he spoke. She wasn't ready to know that information. She was already broken enough and from what he heard and Marco was sure the last piece of her broke.

"How much can a person feel before they truly break Marcus? Remember that next time you open your mouth." Marco grabbed the key and left to go next door. When he opened the door, he stopped in his tracks by what he saw. He quietly closed the door and walked over to where Jade was passed out with a bottle of whiskey spilling into her lap.

"Have you come to tell me what a bad girl I have been?" She slurred, causing Marco to stop. He watched as she grabbed the bottle from her lap and swing it towards him before taking the last sip of the dark liquor.

"You're drunk!" He stated as he walked closer. No, she wasn't just drunk, she was plastered.

"Did you drink all this?" Jade said nothing as she looked at the empty bottle with a frown. She wondered where it had all gone, and how she could get more.

"No, it just disappeared like magic." She waved her hands around the place before placing them on the side of the chair to get up.

Her actions were sluggish, and Marco raced forward to catch her before she collapsed on the floor. Jade started the laugh like a hyena when Marco caught her and supported all her body weight.

"I forgot these fuckers don't work anymore." She laughed again, and Marco picked her up and carried her into her bathroom.

"You stink of alcohol." He placed her on the toilet as he started the shower for her. Marco waited until the shower was warm before he stripped Jade, who was babbling something about slugs and dinner.

"I thought you liked the pee-pee, not the vee-vee." Marco ignored her, placed her on the chair that was made for her shower and got to work washing her as she still couldn't do it herself.

"You are talking nonsense." Marco didn't know what to do. He knew he couldn't tell Marcus because he would flip his shit and he couldn't let her family because they would also have a fit. Marco finished up quickly and dried Jade and put her into some clean clothes, and into bed.

He left her alone while he grabbed some water and some aspirin, knowing she would need them in the morning. When he walked back in Jade had her eyes closed, but he knew she wasn't asleep. He placed the water on the side of the bed and sat down and watched Jade.

"I just don't understand." She slurred with her eyes still closed.

"Understand what Jade?" He watched her take a deep breath and when she opened her eyes he could see the pain there. It was written all over her face as clear as daylight, how she was struggling to adjust to her new life. How everything in her life became so much harder and he cursed his brother for telling her about Taylor.

"Why couldn't I just die. Why did I have to be saved?" Marco didn't have an answer and stayed with Jade until she closed her eyes again. He quietly got off her bed and jumped a little when a hand reached out to him.

"Can you stay the night, please? I don't want to be alone." Marco said nothing as he gently removed his hand and walked over to the other side of the bed and removed his pants and shirt. Once Marco slipped into bed, he could still smell the faint scent of whisky coming off Jade. He pulled Jade close to him and held her tight as she cried all night and into the early hours of the morning.