~Jason~

It's been long since I felt pain. I don't feel pain rather I inflict pain on other things. The last time I felt pain was when my mother died, that was five years ago and ever since then, I've tried my best to stay away from things that'll make me feel anything. I've come to understand that when you stay close to people you are prone to get hurt. Either the person you are close to makes you feel pain or something happens to the person and it makes you feel pain. Ever since then I stopped letting people in, I haven't felt pain up till this moment.

The first time I learnt about mates in school, I was so ecstatic from only the thought of it. I thought of how I'd protect my mate from bad stuffs, how I'd get my mate the most expensive things just to make her happy. The thought of it alone was amazing. Imagine a fourteen year old already designing a mansion that would befit his mate. Yeah, that was how excited It made me. When I first learned about mates I vowed then that I'll always protect my mate and she'll never have to shed a tear, except happy ones. So imagine how I felt when I found my mate unconscious and almost bleeding to death.

When BFG told me that she was abused by her former pack I was livid. I wanted to go and tear them apart but the thought of leaving my mate did not sit well with me. It made me uneasy. I expected her to be wary of me but what I didn't expect was for her to be scared shitless of me. BFG sugarcoated what she went through, so I didn't think that she was going to react the way she did.

When I came out of the bathroom to see her sitting on the bed. I was really happy that she was already awake. I was brought to a stop by her beauty. It was so captivating. Even though I've been with her for three weeks I'm still not used to her beauty.

I was still looking at her when she suddenly winced and clutched her head. I was angry at myself for getting carried away and forgetting that she was hurt. I quickly rushed to her to her and held her head in my hands. Her head must be aching badly. I held her head in my hands and asked her if she was alright in a soft tone so that she won't be startled. I wasn't expecting the reaction she gave me. She removed my hands from her head quickly as if they were burning her and she dashed to a corner in the room muttering 'sorry' over and over again.

I was confused and didn't know what I did wrong. When I tried to move closer to her she flinched as if I was going to hit her. I raised my hand to touch head see if she was burning up but she flinched again like she was expecting me to hit her.

I felt so helpless. I don't know what to do. Then I heard her mumbling repeatedly. What is a BFG and why does she need one?

The pain I felt at that moment was so excruciating. It felt as if I was being stabbed in the heart over and over again. My heart was breaking into a million pieces and I don't know what to do. The last time I felt like this was five years ago and ever since then I've always blocked out people. I don't know to handle this feeling so my anger got the best of me. I didn't know when I started hitting the wall over and over again while saying 'fuck' repeatedly. I expected it to remove the pain I was feeling even if it was a little bit but it didn't. Why does she need a BFG and what the fuck is a BFG?

"What the fuck is a BFG?" I shouted. I never wanted to shout but my anger got the best of me. I try to help and she flinches but she wants a BFG. What can it give her that I can't?

I was lost I'm my turmoil that I almost didn't hear her. " BFG is m-my m-my" She stuttered out but was cut short when someone barged in. I was angry that someone barged in without knocking. I turned in anger to shout at the person but I met with Andrew's worried face.

He bowed his head and asked with a worried tone. "Alpha I heard your voice. What's wrong?"

I'm not a person that socializes with others anymore and I don't hang out with anyone or have fun, but Andrew does so he might know what a BFG is. He must have heard about it.

"She needs a BFG. What the fuck is a BFG?" I asked angrily. I don't like the fact that I don't know what my mate needs and I'm resulting to asking someone.

"I don't know Alpha. Maybe Caleb will know what that is"He said.

Caleb.

I'm not the type of person that is jealous of another. Actually, I'll say that I've never been jealous of anybody before because I was provided with everything as a kid. I was not jealous when Andrew found his mate and was always lovey-dovey around her but I'll have to admit that I'm extremely jealous of Caleb. He was the first to find my mate and I'm sure she's not scared of him like she is of me so I have every right to be jealous. Right?

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up only to see Andrew standing there. He said he wanted to call Caleb and I had forgotten to reply him.

"Then go get him. Don't fucking stand there staring at me, Andrew" I looked at my mate to see her cowering in fear while clutching her head. I'll have to call Daniel too. "And also get her a doctor" I told him as he was about to leave.

I stood tense at a corner in the room waiting for Caleb to come. I glanced at Kenzie and I saw that she was starting to hyperventilate. I've never felt so helpless in my life.

I didn't wait for long because Caleb came in with Andrew. I didn't expect what Kenzie did next.

She ran to Caleb and embraced him. Not only did she embrace him, she embraced him .

Caleb hugged her to his chest and she brought her hand to his chest. The action did not sit well with me and Koda. I am a dominant wolf and we don't like to share what is ours but if I want Kenzie to trust me I'll have to be silent and not react.

Caleb looked at me and pointed at the bathroom. I tilted my head to the side not sure of what he was implying. Andrew obviously understood because he came to whisper In my ear.

"I think he wants to take her to the bathroom and talk to her, Alpha" He said.

I growled loudly at that. I don't like the idea of my mate and another boy together. Even if the boy is her brother or friend, it does not sit well with me.

Caleb gave me a pointed look and I thought about it. Maybe Caleb could tell Kenzie that I'm not a bad person and she'd accept me. She'll no longer be scared of me. I nodded my head at Caleb.

Caleb lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around me. I growled at that too. I don't like her touching someone that is not me. I don't like her holding someone else.

I heard the click of the door as I sat on the bed. I don't know what to do if Caleb doesn't convince Kenzie that I'm not like her Uncle. I held my head in my hands and felt like crying. Kenzie is making me feel emotions that I don't know that I can feel.

If Caleb does not convince her, I'll do it myself. She does not need someone to tell her that I'll not hurt her, I'll just have to show her that I care for her and won't hurt her.

I was already tired from everything that has been happening. Since I found Kenzie, I've not slept a wink and it's already taking a toll on me.

I sat on the chair with my hands on my head waiting for my mate to come out. When I heard there footsteps I stood up from the bed but I made no move in getting closer to her in case she freaks out again.

I looked at her waiting for her to speak. I was anxious on what she'll say. Maybe she's not convinced that I'm a good person and wants to leave me or maybe she wants to get to know me.

I waited for two minutes and was about thinking the worst when she spoke.

"Hi A-alpha,My n-name i-is Kenzie" She said nervously while looking at everywhere except my eyes. Her sweet voice put me to a stop.

My God!!

Her voice sounded like an Angel's. Even better. I was carried away by her voice that I forgot to reply her. I know that she must have summoned all her courage to say just that sentence.

She was still not looking at me and I didn't like it. One bit.

"Look at me Kenzie" I said. When her eyes met mine, I was blown away by her eyes. The color was vibrant and they were mesmerizing.

"My name is Jason. I'm really sorry about you past" I saw her flinch at that and I regretted saying it. I saw the fear on her face but I was quick to reassure her.

"I'm sorry that he did that to you,but I don't want you to be scared of me because I'll never hurt you. I'll understand if you don't trust me. I don't expect you to trust me....... Yet. But please try not to be scared of me, it breaks my heart".

I just told her my mind but I'm also scared. I'm still scared of what she'll say. I know that it'll be really hard for her to forget what her uncle did, but I'm not him and I'll never do anything to harm her. I won't say that I'm perfect. I have my faults but I'd never do what her uncle did to her or anyone.

" I'm s-so s-sorry that you feel t-this way be-because of me. I can't promise anything t-to you yet but I'll try" She stuttered out. Hearing these words from her made me feel lighter. It felt like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I nodded my head at what she said. At this point I'll settle for anything.

"I don't expect you to get used to me immediately. Its a gradual process kitten. I'm just saying that you should try and get to know me, okay?"

I saw her nose twitch when I caller her kitten. Does she not like it? Have I gone too far? I called her a kitten because she looks so cute like one.

I was staring at her and got carried away by her beauty. She's so beautiful.

I felt someone trying to mindlinked me and I opened the link for them.

"Alpha, the doctor has been waiting here. Can I send him in?" Andrew said in the link.

"I'll tell you when to send him in" I don't want to overwhelm Kenzie by bringing in another person. She had stressed herself too much today and I don't want her to overwork herself more.

I turned to her and she was still standing at that spot. " The doctor is coming in now to check on you, Okay?"

The tired look in her eyes answered my question.

"Lie on the bed and rest. Let me get Daniel. I want you to recover fully Kenzie" I said with concern. I really want her to recover fully. I don't like seeing her sick. I also want to know how she'd be when she is strong and healthy.

Too tired to speak, she laid down on the bed.

"That's good" Happy to see her complying, I moved towards the door to call the doctor. I almost got to the door when I remembered something. Earlier she was asking for a BFG. As that was the first thing she asked for maybe it was important to her. I decided to ask her what it was, maybe I could get it for her.

"Quick question. What's a BFG?"

She looked at me while smiling nervously " BFG is C-caleb "

Oh!!

How is Caleb....... BFG. Did she give him a nickname or something. My face must have shown how confused I was because she started explaining it to me.

"W-when I-I met him, I-it was in the forest and BF... Caleb is h-huge and f-friendly so I n-named him BFG. It me-means Big Forest G-guy" She said.

"Oh! Now I get it. I'm sorry for shouting earlier. I was just frustrated because I didn't know what it was and you needed it then" I explained.

She looked at me like I had grown to heads.

"You d-don't have t-to apo-apologize to me" She said while waving her hands in the air.

"Why?" I asked, confused. Why should I not apologize? I scared her in earlier on because of what I did so she deserves an apology.

"'Cause you're an A-alpha" She stated as if it was obvious.

What did she mean by I'm an Alpha.

It was then that I understood what was going on. No one has ever apologized to her before not to talk of an Alpha. I've decided that I'll start complimenting her in everything she does. I'll tell her that she looks beautiful every morning. I'll get her flowers anytime I can and she'll not lack anything.

"I'm sorry" I said with a pointed look on my face and dared her to reject it. When she saw the look on my face she quickly mumbled 'no problem' while blushing.

I nodded my head and told her to rest while going outside. I closed the door quietly behind me. I walked down the small passageway that led to my living room. As an Alpha I was living in the penthouse while the pack members live below. The pack house has eight floors except the penthouse. It was pretty big.

I got to my living room and saw Andrew, Caleb and Daniel (the doctor) sitting there with smiles on their faces. When they noticed my presence, Andrew and Daniel lost the smiles on their faces and their posture became erect.

Okay!!

"You can go check on her now. If she's sleeping do not wake her up" I said to Daniel. He nodded his head and left the room.

Looking at Andrew I raised a brow" Any message for me?" I asked.

"No Alpha" He said while shaking his head.

I dismissed him and went back to the room to know the condition of my mate. I was about to open the door when Daniel came out.

"How is she?" I asked with a worried tone. "Is she okay?".

" Yeah she's okay. She just need to rest very very well. Let her rest for two weeks then we'll see" He said while looking at her chart.

I let out a sigh of relief and thanked him. Going inside the room I sat on the bed and stared at the sleeping angel and at that moment I vowed again to protect her with my life.

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#17th August, 2020.