♡ ♡

I stretch my arms out in front of me, and I can feel how in desperate need of a shower my hair is.

I pat it down while I turn and look at the purple carnations that I put in a vase on my nightstand.

While slinging my legs over my bed, I let out a yawn. Nico and I talked in his car for two hours after he parked in my driveway to drop me off last night.

My heart hurts every time I remember the story about Amara. Having to witness your sibling die must be a type of pain that you never fully heal from.

My phone buzzed against the counter while I turned the shower on, ready to have my hair back to normal and not look insane.

A text from Nico read, 'I'll be in your driveway at 2. Be ready.'

'Or else?' I typed back.

'Or else I'll come in that house and drag you out myself.'

How bossy. He didn't even use please.

I pull my clothes off before getting into the shower, scrubbing my scalp while my body and hair got wet. We were going downtown for a little bit, even though I wasn't too sure about what we were going to do.

Once my body and hair were clean and I had sung about 10 different songs, I shut the water off and stepped out. I did a little smirk to myself, knowing that I had used all of the hot water, so my brothers would have to take a cold shower.

I put a pair of jeans and a shirt on after I blowdried my hair, and put half of it up.

I grabbed some shoes out of my closet at 1:55 pm. Once they were on, I left my room and headed downstairs.

Rio was cooking in the kitchen, but I did a face of disgust seeing how bad it looked.

He looked me up and down, "Where are you going?"

"Downtown."

"With Cross?"

I paused. A small smirk formed on his face, realizing that he was right. I slapped his arm slightly, "Yes. But don't tell Romeo."

"Got it, boss," he said while going back to cooking his food.

Nico pulled up in the driveway, and Rio looked through the window. He nodded his head, "Cool car."

Nico waved his hand slightly at Rio, and Rio smiled while doing it back.

I stepped out into the bright summer sun, squinting my eyes slightly as I made my way over to Nicos' car.

As I sat down, before I could even buckle my seatbelt, he grabbed my face and pulled it toward his. My lips moved in sync with his, a smile forming on my face as I kissed him. I put my hand on the side of his face, feeling the very slight stubble of hair on his cheek.

He pulled away and gestured towards the cup holder. I smiled even wider seeing that it was an iced coffee.

He started to pull out of the driveway, and I looked forward, seeing Rio staring at the both of us with disgust on his face since he had just watched us kiss. When the smoke from his food suddenly intensified, I saw him mouth, 'Oh shit' and go back to focusing on his food.

While we drove, my heart nearly stopped beating when he reached across the seat and grabbed my hand.

"You look beautiful," he told me.

Even though he was complimenting me and speaking sweetly, he still had his usual emotionless face. I smiled at him, "Thank you."

"Are you hungry?"

I shrugged, "A little."

"We'll get food then."

It was a Tuesday afternoon, so there weren't too many people out.

He parked along the side of the road, and we both got out at the same time.

I tilt my head up while walking towards the sidewalk from the road. Feeling Nico put his hand around my waist made me turn to look at him, and he said, "You were going to trip on the curb."

Oh.

After I stepped up on the curb, he released me, making me mentally frown.

"So," I breathed. "Where are we going?"

He shrugged, "I don't know."

I sighed. I told him, "You know, you were in my dream the other night."

His eyebrows went up, and a small smirk formed on his face. I hit his chest, "Not that kind of dream, perv."

Although I wouldn't mind that.

"We were fighting zombies," I told him.

"Boring ass dream."

"Oh, okay then," I crossed my arms. "What would've made it better, since you're the CEO of fun I guess?"

The corners of his mouth turned up, and he didn't answer my question. He pointed to a small stand selling food, and said, "Come on. Lets get you something to eat."

We approached the hotdog stand, but Nico didn't get one. I called him lame and told him to get one, but he shook his head and said he wasn't hungry.

We stopped to sit on a bench so that I could eat. Luckily it was in the shade, and there was a slight breeze that kept me from getting hot.

I bit into it, looking out at the people in front of us while I ate it. I could feel Nicos' eyes on me, but I ignored it. After I took my second bite, and I could still feel his eyes on me, I turned to look at him.

"What?" I asked. "Something on my face?"

"There could be," he said.

My eyebrows lowered, not understanding what he was talking about. He sat up while adjusting his pants, and I just shrugged while continuing to eat.

Once I was done eating, he let out a breath that I didn't even know he was holding. I pulled some hand sanitizer out of my bag, squeezing some of the strawberry and vanilla scent onto my hands. I held it out to put some on his, too, but he scowled at the pink bottle.

"Stop being a wuss," I told him, and his mouth turned up slightly.

He let me put some on his hands, and I watched as he rubbed the liquid into his hands.

We stood back up, and he kept his fingers wrapped around one of the belt loops on my jeans as we walked.

"Come get trained tomorrow," he told me. I nearly laughed at how he asks me to hang out.

"Okay - oh! Come here!" I tug on his arm when my eyes fell onto a shop that I wanted to go to.

I dragged him behind me as we entered the store. I smiled at the worker, but declined her help when she asked me if I needed help finding anything. I knew exactly where to go.

I stopped in front of the ribbons. He asked me, "The fuck are these for?"

"Tieing my hair," I told him, looking at all of the different colors.

I bit the inside of my cheek. I started rambling, "What color do you think I should get? Obviously white and black are classics, I have to get them. But what other color? Blue, green, maybe r-"

"Pink," he cut me off.

"Hot pink? Pastel pink? Coral?"

"Pastel."

I picked up the pastel pink ribbon. I smiled while looking at the baby blue one, and picked it up.

I walked to the cash register to pay, and Nico followed behind me. He ended up handing the worker a $20 bill, paying for my ribbons. I felt bad that he spent his money on me, especially since he had just given me $500 the other day.

As we exited the store, which had the air conditioning way too cold and annoying pop music way too loud, I started to pull the blue one out of the packaging.

"Hold out your wrist," I ordered.

His eyebrows lowered, "Why?"

"Because this blue one is for you, and I'm gonna put it around your wrist," I spoke as if it was obvious. "Now, hold it out."

"I'm not wearing a fuckin' ribbon," he glared at it.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

I let out a huff. Because I am psychotic and should be in a mental hospital, I start to wander off of the sidewalk and towards the road.

Nico quickly grabs onto me and pulls me away from the road, now making me walk on the side further away. He shook his head and held his wrist out, "You're insane."

"I know," I smiled, even though I was bluffing and wouldn't have actually walked onto the road. "But get used to it."

I tie the baby blue ribbon around his wrist, and I smiled once it was on. I pulled the pink one out of its packaging and wrapped it around my wrist. I'd put it in my hair tomorrow since I didn't have a mirror right now.

"Do you like it?" I asked him.

He turned his head to look at me, "I'll answer you if you kiss me."

I stood up on my tiptoes, pressing my lips against his quickly.

"Now, do you like it?"

"No."

I rolled my eyes.

And for somebody who claims he didn't like it, it kept it on for the entire next few hours that we walked around Boston.

Once my knees started to hurt from walking because I swear I have the knees and back of a grandma, we started heading back to his car.

We got into his car, and his hand instantly when to hold mine while he started driving.

I hummed along to the radio as he drove me back home, the beautiful sunset glowing down onto us. My favorite sunsets are always when they are pink and orange, it makes me feel like I live somewhere tropical and not in Boston.

He pulled into my driveway, and I bit back a frown.

"Come to my house tomorrow," he said while tightening his grip on my hand to stop me from exiting the car.

I turned back around, "Really?"

"Mhm."

"Say please?" I spoke in an overly sweet tone.

He rolled his eyes, and I knew he wasn't going to say it.

"Please."

I think my heart just melted. It's dripping, and I'm gonna pee it out and die.

"Okay," I smiled at him.

He released my hand, allowing for me to exit the car.

I entered my house, still having a stupid smile on my face. I was worried that if I smiled any longer, my face would get stuck like that because my mom always told me that that would happen when I was a kid.

But she also told me Santa was real, and that turned out to be fake.

I started walking up the staircase but paused once I reached the top of the stairs.

Music played loudly from Rios' room, and I started to wonder if he had friends over. I tried to listen for voices, but I couldn't hear anything over the loud music.

I walked over to the door, knocking on it, just in case he could hear that. He didn't open the door, so I knocked again, but he didn't answer again.

I slowly opened the door, and felt a little confused when I saw that it was just Rio. His back was facing me as he played a videogame on the computer, and I yelled over the music, "Hey!"

He didn't hear me, so I walked over to him and smacked the back of his head. He turned around quickly and rubbed his head, "Ow?"

"Why are you playing your music so loudly?" I asked, but my feelings quickly shifted seeing that he had a bottle of vodka on his desk.

I grabbed his face and forced him to look up at me, staring at his eyes. As he spoke, I noticed his words slurred together a bit this time, "Yea, I'm drinking while I play a videogame. So what?"

"You're not supposed to-"

He cut me off, "I'm so tired of you guys always telling me what I can and can't do. I want to have fun, I'm a teenager."

"I'm just looking out for you, Rio," my voice softened.

He rolled his eyes, "Well, can you stop? I don't need your help."

"Rio-"

"Can you just leave me alone, Elle? I'm tired of you guys breathing down my neck all the damn time. Let me live," he spat, and I felt my heart start to hurt a little.

I'm just looking out for him.

"You know what mom and dad would do if they knew you were drinking," I spoke.

"Don't tell them," he stood up from his chair. He took a step closer to me, staring down at me. "You tell them my secret, and I'll tell them yours."

I knew that he was talking about Nico.

"Rio...." my voice trailed off. "Why don't we talk about this once you're sober?"

He rolled his eyes. He picked up the bottle of vodka off of his desk and abruptly started walking out of the room. My eyebrows lowered as I started following him down the stairs.

He walked over to the kitchen sink and held the bottle above it, "I'll dump it down the sink right now if you'll stop being a coward and just tell mom and dad about your boyfriend."

"Why?" I almost stuttered. "That has nothing to do with you, Rio."

"You're scared of them. I see it in your eyes. You're scared of them because you know that they don't love you as much as they love Romeo and me," his words felt like a knife to my chest. "Stop fucking being scared, Elle. Life is too short, so just fucking tell them. Stop caring about everyone's damn opinion of you."

My mouth hung open. He was right, and I hated it.

"I....I'm not even dating him-"

He cut me off, "Oh my God, come on, Elle! You clearly fucking like him! I'm trying to help you, the same way you're trying to help me. Stop being afraid of them, and tell them! And I'll stop being afraid, and tell them about my drinking."

"These two things are different, Rio."

"Maybe. But don't come in and try to help me, then get mad when I do the same thing to you," he said while putting the vodka bottle back on the counter.

I stared at it, waiting to see if he would pour it. But he didn't.

He walked past me to head upstairs, but stopped right beside me.

"Stop being afraid," he spoke quietly.

He kept walking, and I listened to the sound of his footsteps.

Once he was gone, I took a deep breath. I ran my hands through my hair while I leaned against the kitchen counter, thinking about what he said over and over again.

My parents are never happy with anything that I do. If they hear that I'm hanging out with Nico, they'll probably make me stop since he isn't a dentist or doctor.

But I like being around him.

I could still hear Rios' loud music as I stood in the kitchen.

I pulled out my phone and texted Nico, 'Are you home yet?'

Before I could even set my phone down, he replied, 'Not yet. Is everything okay?'

'Any chance you could come pick me back up again?'

'On my way.'

I waited by the front door for him. It gave me flashbacks to middle school, where I'd stand and watch cartoons while waiting for the bus that I'd sometimes miss if the episode on the TV was really good, but I suppressed the memories.

The second I saw his headlights pull into the driveway, I opened the door, not even caring that I wasn't bringing anything with me.

His eyes look at me with concern as I open his car door and sit down in the passengers' seat.

Before he can even ask me anything, I ask him, "Can we go get ice cream?"

He nodded.

I sat in my own thoughts while he pulled out of the driveway. I tapped my knees, looking at the trees while he drove toward my favorite ice cream shop.

Maybe Rio was right.

Maybe it was time to stop being a coward.