"We need plenty of snacks," we were finally doing something productive - writing a list of things we needed, "oooh we should get gummy bears too."

He wrote it down while talking to himself. His appetite was out of this world.

"How are you going to eat all of that?" There were at least 2 pages written already, and all of them snacks.

"9 hour flight, baby."

Okay.

"Are we flying straight to Brighton?" I had no idea about any of our plans.

"We're landing in London then taking the train to Brighton." He clicked the pen.

"Why the hell a train? That should be our last choice." I didn't know if he was being serious.

"What's wrong with a train?" He frowned.

"Everything is wrong with a train.." I argued back, not seeing his point, "It's like taking a minecart."

"It only takes an hour by a train, and trains are comfy and cool, so shut it and obey."

I wasn't going to argue with him any further. I had no idea what was going on and didn't have the energy to deal with him.

I was really sleepy too, it was already around midnight and I didn't get enough sleep the previous night. I rolled down from the bed and dug in my bag to find something more comfortable than jeans to wear at night. I also grabbed my toothbrush and made my way to the bathroom, changing my clothes and doing the bedtime routines afterwards.

He was so deep into the planning and writing the ideas down that he probably didn't even notice how I went out and got back on the bed. I didn't want to interrupt him tho, so just curled up, hugging a pillow, closing my eyes.

"Aw, you're sleepy," I was wrong when I said he didn't even notice me, "alright let's sleep, we have a long day tomorrow."

"Mhm." I didn't even bother to open my eyes. I wanted him to turn off the lights and let me sleep.

But I didn't last long enough to see him turn the lights off. My vision went black and all I could hear was the sound of the running water which soon disappeared too.

I wasn't fully asleep though. I was half conscious, almost lucid dreaming. Then I just randomly woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like my eyes refused to close again. I realized that he somehow got me under the covers while I was asleep and put a pillow under my head.

I turned around to see if he was there. I saw his face features under the weak light that was coming from his phone screen. He turned his head eventually and looked at me.

"Hi." His voice was low, attention still on the phone screen.

"What time is it?" The room was pitch dark.

"Almost 4 a.m."

I thought I slept for hours and expected it to be already close to morning. But it turned out to be the middle of the night.

"Why are you awake?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to get them to adjust to the lighting.

"Dunno," he shrugged, "I get like this before big days."

To be honest I imagined him to have emotions made of steel, but apparently he's a lot softer. Or it was just his perfectionism speaking again.

"We're just meeting Nick, not a big deal." I chuckled, making him laugh softly.

"I don't know what's up with me," he huffed and put his phone aside, adjusting his pillow so he could lie on his back, "you and Nick are both younger, makes me kind of feel like the responsibility is on me? Like I have to make sure nothing goes wrong? I don't know, doesn't make sense probably."

I knew exactly what he meant, but at the same time I didn't.

"We're not kids, Clay," I chuckled, "nothing is on you, we're doing this together and everything is going fine so far. Just relax."

I didn't know how to help him, I didn't even know if he needed help or not. I was lying on my side, looking at him stare at the ceiling. His hair had already dried after the shower he took, and it tended to form lose curls whenever it got wet.

Almost instinctively my hand moved to brush one of those curls away from his face. He didn't react, which somehow was relieving for me. His hair was soft, felt nice to play with.

Before I could understand why my hand was buried in his hair, he shifted in a way that he could wrap an arm around my waist and hide his face in the crook of my neck.

For a second I felt like I was choking on air, not being able to breathe normally. And I knew that he was close enough to me to notice (even feel) that I was holding my breath. And that being my only encouragement, I started breathing again.

Then everything got back to normal. Somehow my confidence got back in me, remembering all the times I cuddled with my guy friends. This isn't something out of the ordinary.

I used the hand that wasn't under my pillow to continue playing with his hair. We were both silent. I was wondering if his mind was as blank as mine at that moment.

Feeling his arm get heavier on my side and his breathing pattern change on my neck, I realized that he was asleep. It wasn't long until I passed out too, leaving my fingers tangled in his hair.