For the first time in 27 days, I finally felt like I could talk to George and Nick instead of just replying to their texts dryly. I wanted to talk to Nick more, but I felt so guilty towards George that it forced me to text him first.

hi :]

omg

a smiley🥺

He never replied this quickly before

:]

are you okay???

I narrowed my eyes, feeling like he was yelling at me through text. I should just call him.

And again, he never picked up this quickly before.

"Are you okay? What did you do?" He got straight to his point, thinking I probably wasn't doing well if I called him.

"Relax, I'm okay." My voice sounded so much weaker than I thought it would. I think he thinks I lost my mind completely.

"Open the camera then." George really couldn't believe I was doing okay.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Realizing that the disaster was unfixable, I sighed, turning on the camera.

He was taken aback. The dark circles around my eyes were not the only thing distinct on my face. I also lost a bit of weight and looked different in general. Even I could see the difference. I looked half-dead.

"Don't mention it, I know," I sighed, looking at his dropping face, "I'm better now, I promise."

George nodded, definitely not trusting my words as much as his eyes. I couldn't do anything about it. I can't prove him that I'm good after disappearing for almost a month and showing up with a zombified look.

"I want to apologize for the mess I put you through. And for how I handled it too. I'm sorry." I spoke, not having enough courage to look at the screen.

"Lizzy, please don't," he pouted, "I already blame myself enough, you saying that makes me wanna curl up and die."

"You did nothing wrong. It's all me, but I'm working on it. Sorry again."

He sighed from my words, once again saying that I shouldn't apologize. And there was nothing coming out from our mouths for a while.

With a lot of courage, I finally spoke.

"Hey, uhm.." I was probably blushing from nervousness, "erm.. have you spoken to.. Clay? Lately?"

George was surprised from my words. He parted his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He smiled instead and tried again.

"He called Nick. Like yesterday." He was still smiling, which made my face burn even more.

"How.. how is he?" My heart was pounding in my chest from something that shouldn't have affected me so much.

"Just like you." George pressed his lips together.

"And that is?"

"Says he's okay but looks lifeless."

I started pushing my nails into my fingerpads out of anxiety. I never did this before, I'm seeing a new bad habit developing.

He noticed how uncomfortable I looked and realized that his remark was going to stay unanswered.

"You can talk to Nick for the details tho." George smiled.

I nodded, thanking him and ending the call. I think I forgot how to be human and communicate. I've been talking to the plushie more than actual people for the past 3-4 weeks.

But I need to call Nick now. I feel guilty that my main interest in calling him was because I wanted to ask about Clay, but it doesn't mean that I wasn't happy to talk to Nick too. I missed him.

I texted him before calling. I only call without a warning when it's an emergency.

Hey :)

Just like George, it felt like he teleported to my chat.

who dis?

I rolled my eyes with a small laugh. Is there a situation that is serious enough for him?

your mom

mommy🥺

I knew if I kept texting, we'd never get to the actual point. So I asked if I could call, and he called instead of answering.

"My prayers have been answered. You're still alive." Was the first thing he said when I picked up.

"Unfortunately." I chuckled.

"Shut up," he sounded really serious, "turn the camera on, I wanna see."

"See what?" I laughed.

"If your eyebrows and hair are still there," there he goes again, "and hopefully some tits."

When I tell you I almost hung up-

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I just wanna see you." Both of them just wanted to judge how I was by my appearance. And I couldn't blame them, I'd probably do the same.

"I look as bad as you imagine." I said before clicking the icon.

"I don't think that's pos-" he got cut off by my dead eyes staring at the screen, "you never fail to exceed my expectations."

I couldn't help but laugh at how stupidly sharp his remarks could be. And he wasn't going all out on me too, probably thinking that I was still sensitive.

"Can I ask you something?" My voice got way smaller than it was before, as I went to the topic unexpectedly.

"Go for it." Nick was rather curious.

I took a breath, looking away from the camera again before opening my mouth.

"You spoke to Clay.. George said." I sounded so confusing, but he started smiling. The same smile as George's.

"I did." That smile of his could actually be used as a mental torture.

"Uh- how was he?" My voice was so hesitant. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.

"Almost like you. All you need is a blonde beard and you'll be twins." Nick was able to keep a straight face delivering his sentence, "Too bad I forced him to shave. He looked ridic-"

"Is he getting better?" Even though I interrupted Nick, my voice sounded smaller than his.

There was a silence for a moment between us two. Nick looked like he was deciding between saying something or keeping it to himself.

"He'll get so much better if you say that to him personally."

He said it.

What do I do now? What do say? Should I-

"Okay."

Oh god, I said it.