"What?"

George's mouth stayed parted after he managed to form that single word.

I didn't have anything else to say to him. All I could do was google his symptoms and hopefully not find out that he needs a penis amputation.

"Why does Clay have Viagra in his house? Am I missing something?" I can't believe this was George's main concern after finding out that his health could potentially be at risk.

"Cause someone lacks common knowledge and can't memorize things." I looked at Nick, still confused about how he managed to buy Viagra.

"Yeah, Clay's an idiot." Nick answered.

I can't with this. This is too much for me to handle in a single week.

At the same time I felt bad for George cause he looked so painfully lost and confused. I think he at least deserves to know the backstory.

"I asked Nick to buy Allegra and he brought Viagra, nothing's wrong with Clay, don't worry. He can get it up just fine."

My attention was completely on George, but Nick didn't miss the chance to make an appearance with his never ending questions.

"I am so confused. I still don't know what Viagra is," he shook his head, "all I know is that my grandma forces my grandpa to take it. Isn't it for diabetes?"

Me and George looked at each other. At first we were serious, but then we slowly started to crack a smile which was daring to turn into a laugh.

I'm sure by looking at each other me and George were trying to figure out if we should tell him or not.

"It.. uhhh.." I scratched the side of my arm nervously, "It helps with erectile disfunction."

I was waiting for Nick's reaction, but there was none.

"A reptile.. what?" And of course, he doesn't even know what that means. My expectations were unbelievably high to be fair.

"It wakes the peepee up." I decided to try to put it more simply. Well, it doesn't get simpler than this to be fair.

"Oh..." and it finally hit him.

Then after a few seconds he probably connected all of the dots. Finally.

"OOOOHHH.." his eyes went as wide as his tired lids allowed, when he remembered all the times he took the pill before bed and woke up with a boner after an hour or so.

And George is still clueless and helpless. But I don't think it's appropriate to reveal that side of the story to him now. We kept it a secret successfully so far, and those were just dark times, it's probably better to forget and move on.

"It hurts." George spoke again, trying to get our attention.

I sighed, going back to the search results. And understanding what was going on required the knowledge of some details about the look of his penis, which was not going to happen. Google results were sorted by the appearance of it.

"We need to, uhm, put an icepack on it." I cringed from the thought.

I saw the terror in George's eyes and heard the snort that left Nick's mouth. I could imagine how uncomfortable that would be, but I also couldn't help but hold back a laugh myself. Not because of the thought, but because George looked mortified.

"What are you? A school nurse?" The poor guy was trying his best to find an alternative solution.

"I mean, Nick can suck you off.." I shrugged, and this time Nick was the one with the traumatized face.

"Now that I think about it.. I'd rather eat the food you cooked than eat a dick, I'm taking back my words," he vigorously shook his head, "I'm sorry for disrespecting your cooking skills."

At least I got an apology. Even though I thought the asparagus I cooked tasted more like ass and less like paragus.

Anyways, now it was time to convince George that the only solution was the icepack.

"I'm not gonna put fucking ice on my genitals!" He was putting on a fight, "What if it freezes and falls off?"

"It's gonna fall off either way, it's worth trying!" I complained, scrolling through every search result and seeing the same icepack method over and over again.

"You know what? If it's gonna fall off, I want it to fall off with dignity," George got up, still keeping the pillow infront of his crotch, "I'm gonna go jerk off."

At first I thought that was too much information. But the situation was critical so I needed to know every single detail.

"Did he deadass leave to beat his meat?" Nick spoke after a while.

I looked at his face, trying to come up with a reasonable answer, but there wasn't any. So I just nodded and looked back to my phone.

And after a few second Nick spoke again, "Jerking off doesn't even work. It stays hard for a while and goes away by itself."

His words made me look up from my phone.

"Yeah, cause you would know."

Nick's face turned bright red from remembering his past experiences. I just laughed to make him feel more comfortable about the whole thing. Now that I know that it wasn't his fault, I kind of feel bad for him.

"It hurts!" We heard George's distant cry. I couldn't believe Clay was still asleep after all the noise we made.

"Submerge it in cold water!" I yelled back. Soon I heard the water running.

"Is he just out there putting his dick in the sink?" Nick once again made a comeback with inappropriate remarks that created a disgusting image in my head.

My previous hopes about Clay sleeping through this didn't come true. Soon he entered the living room while squinting to the bright light, looking around to understand what was going on. Yet the main problem, George, wasn't even here. So he remained clueless.

"What's up?" His voice was rough from just waking up.

"George's dick-"

I hit Nick's arm when he said those words, trying to make him keep his mouth shut at least for once in his life.

"What?" The poor guy looked so confused.

I sighed, trying to rehearse the sentence in my head before I'd say it out loud. But no matter how hard I tried to sound normal, the scenario was just not it.

So with a final breath, I spoke.

"George accidentally took Viagra pills," I pressed my lips together to force myself to continue without laughing, "and now he's a bit too excited."

I was so used to explaining things to Nick for 100 times and still not getting a reaction that when Clay immediately started wheezing, I lost myself. I tried so hard to stay serious, but Clay sounded like he was about to choke himself to death from how hard he was laughing.

"Please." I hung my head, hiding my face behind the strands of my hair so I could laugh without being to obvious.

"Can I see?" Clay blurted out between coughs and laughs.

"His dick?" Nick sounded so serious, it just made the whole thing more painfully hilarious, "I mean it's nothing special, but if you insist, he's in the bathroom."

And that's when George heard them and let go of a train of offensive sentences. The fact that the water was still running while he spoke from the bathroom, made the image of him standing with his dick in the sink resurface, breaking me completely.

As bad as I felt about it, all of us burst out laughing uncontrollably. Especially Clay. He looked like he was about to pass out from wheezing so much.