I'm cold.

I'm shivering.

I'm scared and not completely sure abobut what happened to me, that I feel this way. Like not moving, breathing, speaking, nothing. After Bain came back with Ryan she got me dressed again and I she looked at me like I was going to fall apart.

But I didn't.

I didn't say a word.

Now I'm curled in the back seat of Trip's car with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. Ryan is sitting next to me her arm wrapped around my shoulders rubbing my arm whispering, "I'm so sorry."

I want to ask her what she's sorry about, why she's so upset, but I can't. Bain is sitting up from his leg bouncing in the passenger's seat looking like he might explode any minute. Running his fingers through his hair I catch a glimpse of his knuckles, split open and bloody from beating Jacob so hard.

"Everybody can stay at my place until we figure out what to do. My parents are gone for the week at a business meeting in New York." Trip says and turns into a driveway of a big mansion. Bain says nothing but keeps staring out the window, leg bouncing, fists clenching and un-clenching on his thighs.

Everyone gets out of the car except me, but just when I think I could get out Bain opens my door and picks me up bridal style. My heart beats faster and I look up into his green eyes and he looks at me. I sigh and close my eyes pressing my cheek to his warm hard chest.

We all get inside the house, I'm too tired and too warm against Bain to be able to open my eyes and look around.

"We'll be upstairs, you guys can stay in the guest bedrooms down the hall. They have bathrooms and towels and the Kitchen is just farther down the hall, make yourselves at home, no worries." I hear Trip say softly.

"I feel terrible. This is all my fault I shouldn't have left her side." I hear a sad sounding Ryan whisper and Trip sighs and I hear suddenly Bain's heart beat faster.

I decide that's my new favorite sound. Bain's heart beat. Steady. Strong.

"It's not your fault. She needs rest." Bain says his voice rumbling deep within his chest and he sighs walking away from Trip and Ryan.

I take a deep breathe smelling deeply his delicious cologne that always seemed to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and my senses feel alive. He lays me down in a soft bed pulling the blankets over me. I hear him gulp and I had a feeling something just happened. So softly I thought it was just my imagination, but when I opened my eyes he was turning his back to me and laid down on a couch on the other side of the room.

I bit my lip suddenly feeling more. It's Bain he brings it out of me. Sometimes I wish he hadn't but he does. I lick my lips and do something I'm not sure is right.

"Bain?" I whisper out into the dark.

There was only silence for a couple of seconds. Then, "Yeah?"

I bite my lip. "Lay with me?" For a couple of minutes I hated myself because I thought I just made a big mistake. Then he slowly gets off the couch and walks towards me. I scoot over and he lays down on that side. Nobody moves.

I lay on my side feeling the heat radiate of his large body and he lays on his back staring at the ceiling. I decide this was enough for me and closed my eyes going of to sleep knowing that I was safe with Bain.

---------------------------------------------

I am so angry. Angry with Ryan, angry with that damned Ben, angry with myself. I was supposed to protect her dammit. I was supposed to be there to make sure nothing happened! I clench my jaw and take deep breathes trying to release my tense muscles careful not to wake Ashley. How could I do this to her? How can she forgive me so easily? I put her in danger and she still wants me close to her.

I look next to me at her beautiful sleeping face and her sexy pink pouting lips that I just want to kiss. Her long lashes fluttering and her lips twitching talking to herself softly makes me think shes having a dream. She scoots closer to me and I sigh and give in to her wrapping my arm around her shoulders and let her lay her head on my chest. I sigh and breath in her soft scent and rub her arm her skin like fucking silk.

What is this girl doing to me?

And how stupid is she for wanting to be this close to me?

Doesn't she know I'll just fuck up her life?

Fuck her, fuck me, fuck life.

I sigh and rub my eyes. A part of me says that, but then a very small part of me I didn't know I had is telling me to stop. To wave the white flag and give up and trying to be this person I've become. To let Ashley in and just kiss the hell out of her and hold her and make her mine and only mine. The selfish part of me.

I don't even know what the hell I want anymore.

No, actually i do.

I want a drink.

-------------------------------------------------------------

ASH AIRWOOD

I woke up feeling better than I thought. I slept better last night than I have in a long time. I stretch in the unfamiliar bed feeling the empty space beside me. I sigh and fall back on the bed laying down again. I just don't understand him. One minute he doesn't care, the next goes out of his way to make amends with me, and then he leaves me. I just don't understand what he wants.

Suddenly I smelt bacon.

And where there is bacon, there is me.

I hop out of bed and follow the amazing smell of bacon trailing out of the room down to the kitchen.

"Wow," I sigh, "That smells really-," I stand there frozen staring at Bain's figure tossing around bacon in a pan with a small kitchen towel thrown over his shoulder.

Did i mention he's shirtless? Because he's shirtless. I shake my head partly wanting to look and partly feeling like it's way too much to handle considering last night.

I close my eyes tight and take deep breathes trying to not think about it.

I gulp and he looks up. "Morning lazy." He tosses the bacon expertly in the pan then serves it onto a plate with a grease drainer his biceps and back muscles flexing at the slightest of movements.

He pushes the plate towards me with another plate with a tomato, sausage, and cheese omelet towards me. "Eat up, you need it." He sets down a glass of delicious looking orange juice and I sit down in front of it all breathing in the delicious smell. I was starved. "You... cook?" I ask surprised.

Bain smirks his cheek making that adorable parenthesis around the side of his mouth making him look oddly charming. "Of course I cook. Belly and I don't always eat take out, you know? Someone's gotta do it. I just happen to posses the talent."

Cocky. I hesitantly pick up the fork and he raises his eyebrow. I eat a part of the omelet flavor exploding in my mouth.

"Well?" He smirks.

"Oh. My. God." I start to eat more shove the food in my mouth. Bain chuckles. "Well Trip and Ryan left to go do some stuff so we have the house to ourselves."

"A-alone?" Please say no....

Bain smirks. "Completely."

Shit.