I hope you guys like this longer chapter! Let me know how you all feel about this chapter.

***

I never knew pain like I did right now. I stupidly went home after school, avoiding Charles like the plague along with Damien and the gangs goonies. The gang had grown to know who I was, along with being comfortable around me and growing protective over me as a little sibling since I had been around Damien so much. In all honesty, I loved so many of them, although some still did scare me.

My hand was currently being held over a stove, the side of my arm hovering over the glowing burners. My mom gave me a sad smile as she looked at me, her eyes practically breaking as she had the same brown as one of my own eyes.

"So you never leave."

The pain was a fire burning sensation I never wish to encounter again, blossoming from under my skin as she held me. My screams were unheard and my cries unanswered, not that I really expected them to be. She threw me back from the stove and watched as I stumbled onto the cold floor, clutching my arm as tears poured from me. I often felt so soft and weak for crying, but at some point I stopped caring.

My tears were my strength, the only thing making sure I was a real live human being and not some cyborg with an automated brain inside my head. Don't think I'm crazy, I just needed the emotions raging within me to assure myself that I am, in fact, able to have emotions and feelings so well integrated into society.

But all it seems that society im cares about is money and personal appearances, along with the appearance of love. That, and being extraordinary.

My problem is, I've always wanted to be ordinary. I never wanted to be the girl with the weird eyes, nor have I ever wanted to be the girl covered in scars. I don't mind being the girl covered in tattoos, especially since not many knew of those. Now it seems though, I was the cliche girl that was in love with a gang leader; although I do wish I could say he loved me back.

I was in love with him, in case you wondered. It wasn't until I sat in art class earlier today, and was watching him like always. The sun had been beaming behind him, the light illuminating his tame skin and dark hair. I saw his soft expression regarding his friends, the way he looked at art itself.

I could love him if he chose to love Courtney. I could love him, but away my feelings as long as he is happy. I would let him have the world, regardless of my heart.

Pain across my face brought me out of whatever thoughts I had, my eyes looking back up to my mothers dark brown ones. She snarled at me, my heart breaking at the obvious distaste my mother had to her own daughter. I bit my lip as she reigned down kick after kick on my ribs, feeling my own bones groan in pain.

I'm not sure when I finally passed out, but when I woke up I took a shower as quick as my injured body would let me and practically scrambled to school. It was about 9:30, and I had missed all of first and almost all of second. When I finally did get to school, the bell rang and signaled for third period, my fucking study hall.

I ducked through the halls, trying to avoid the faces of those gang boys I knew so well. Ducking my head down didn't end up helping me in the end, because I turned a corner and pretty much splattered myself over a body that ended up looking at me with that same goofy smile he was so well known for.

Luckily, it was only Joey and Charles, and the hot headed Italian I'd grown infatuated with was no where to be seen. I raised an eyebrow to Charles since he had technically been trying to avoid the lot of them because I was supposedly 'Damien's girl' even if Damien wasn't aware of it.

"He knows." I paled while looking back at Joey, the same goofy smile on it faltering when he sees my complexion.

Just how much did he know?

"Not everything, just about me being gay and the fact I needed to make your little boy toy a bit jealous." I let out a breath before smiling back up to Joey, who in turn looked at me with a guilty face.

"Oh god, what?" I groaned at him, mentally scolding myself for even asking when he gave me a sheepish grin.

"Okay, so Damien was pretty much roped into dinner with Courtney tonight," Cue mental fake werewolf growls, "and asked me and Charles to come with him so he wouldn't be alone. I, have suddenly came down with a horrible stomach bug,"

I watched as he fake coughed into his curled fist, before over exaggerating vomiting. "And Charles here needs a date, so that's where you come in."

I raised my eyebrow at both of them, the corner of my mouth quirking back up. "And you think that Damien will be okay with this? Or more importantly, I won't rip Courtney's fake tits out?"

They both shrugged at me when the warning bell rang, Joey running off to wherever his class was while Charles just gripped my shoulder. "I'll pick you up at seven, wear red." He inched closer to my ear, my eyes widening as I noticed Damien studying us over Charles shoulder. "I know he's watching us, but Damien loves red."

Dammit Fern, what did you get yourself into?

***

I could practically feel this red dress sucking the life out of my boobs, if boobs did in fact, have a soul.

"Stupid gay boy playing stupid tricks on the stupid idiot I have a stupid fucking crush on." I grumped as I put on a pair of black Louboutins, which were, according to both Charles and Joey, Damien's weakness.

I wore a matching red dress with a mock lace neckline and long sleeves and a dip in the back, one that Joey and Charles had picked out and sent to me. I felt undeniably sexy, a feeling I didn't often have. We were apparently having dinner in a very upscale restaurant, so I had to dress and look the part.

I smiled when I crept out the front door, having forced my mom to drink a bit more than she usually would've, and saw Charles standing in a tux before a Beemer. He grinned at my appearance, my dark hair curled loosely and contacts in place.

He opened the door for me as I settled into the pristine leather seats, my eyes grazing over the various other buttons and knobs while Charles got in and started the car. The car was silent for most of the ride, Charles only speaking up when we pulled into the parking lot and the valet helped me out of my seat.

"By the way, he doesn't know your coming." I huffed, sending Charles a glare of my own.

"I kinda figured that, but I could wish you told him." He grinned as he took my hand and linked it around his arm, his eyes trailing over my long legs.

"I may be gay, but damn, you look good tonight." I laughed outright as the door opened, the air practically shifting with how different I was than everyone in this room.

Charles waved off the hostess and brought me to the back corner, before detouring into a door I didn't even notice and opening it into a small private room. Damien and Courtney both looked up, Courtney's face hardening into an ugly scowl, while Damien's eyes pretty much glazed over as he took me in.

Charles leaned into my ear as we walked to the center table, his lips brushing the skin below it. "He's going to have a hard time tonight, give him hell."

I sat in the chair in front of Damien, his have never wavering from my face. I smirked at how flushed his face had grown, and how impossibly darker his eyes had become.

"What're you doing here?" Courtney's nasal voice seemed to cut through glass, shattering any self control I had to not reach over and punch her in her nose.

"Well, Joey fell ill, and Charles asked me." I never took my eyes off of Damien as I spoke, watching as his jaw clenched at the mere mention of Charles name. "Besides, I don't think Damien really minds, do you?"

I watched as he gulped when I spoke his name, smiling when his pupils dilated. He shook his head slightly before stammering over his own words, earning a small smile from me before looking up as the waiter entered the room.

"Hello, my name is Wilson and I'll be your waiter tonight, what can I get you all to drink?" His eyes strayed from everyone to me, skimming over my shoulders and down my dress to the one leg peeking out.

"Red Wine sound good for me, what about you all?" I gave him a smile, grinning internally when Damien's hands tightened around the silverware on the table until his knuckles turned white.

"Sounds perfect, four glasses please." Charles smirked evilly, watching the entire scene play out for him.

I watched the waiter leave the room before turning back to both a fuming Damien and equally pissed off Courtney. She smoothed out her face when she saw me looking, and began to ru her hands along Damien's arm.

"So Fern, how's your mother?" I grit my teeth at Courtney, smiling graciously when the waiter brought the wine back.

We all ordered assorted pastas, the waiter staring at me with smoldering eyes that frankly, creeped me out. When he left I turned back to Courtney before slipping my heels off, rubbing my foot up Damien's inner thigh. I smiled when he jumped slightly, his dark eyes widening at me.

"My mothers good Courtney, how's your herpes?" She flushed red at my words, steam practically pouring out of her ears.

"I wouldn't know, considering I don't have any. But weren't you in the hospital a while back because of your moms drinking?" I felt Damien's eyes on me as our food came, my fingers digging into the palm of my hand.

"No, I wasn't. Although I am pretty sure you got herpes from Peter Junior year." She flushed even brighter red but shut up, turning instead to eat her noodles.

We sat in silence as soft violin music played, my smile widening as I rubbed my foot up his leg. Every once in a while he would jump slightly, his eyes burning holes into my face. I finally reached his crotch after teasing him for minutes, I traced down the line of his seam. I felt him grow aroused as I smirked to myself, his fist clenching while Courtney began to babble on about her friends and their shopping trips.

His hand reached down and began to rub up my calf, tracing patterns in my skin. I was suddenly glad that I decided to shave again instead of only a few days ago, watching as he smirked himself when I grew clammy and flushed.

I took my leg from his lap and shoved it into my shoe, standing suddenly and interrupting whatever Courtney was talking about. "Excuse me, I need to use the restroom."

I quickly rushed from the table, feeling his eyes burn on me as I retreated. I shut the door behind me, running my hands through my hair as I tried to calm my racing heart. I clutched onto the side of the sink, shutting my eyes as I took a deep breath.

The door opened behind me and shut, my eyes opening to find Damien standing against the door staring at me. "That isn't a very good game to play kitten, especially in that little red dress."

He practically purred as I cocked an eyebrow, my eyes trained on his hands locking he door behind him. "Didn't realize I was a fucking cat."

He came to stand behind me, his lips pressing on the skin below my ear. My heart raced, my lip rolling between my teeth. "You don't know what your cursing does to me, my little kitten. I call you that because you're so soft and cuddly, but when you get pissed you attack like a savage kitten."

He trailed kisses all along my jaw and neck before spinning me around, pressing my lips against his own. His lips moved against my own, opening my lips and caressing my tongue with his own. I moaned into his mouth, feeling his hands grip the skin on my upper legs.

He moved his hand under my dress and played along the skin, pinching and rubbing my inner thighs. I moaned as I felt him rub against me with his knuckles, my mind in a fog covered daze.

It wasn't until he moved my dress on my shoulders slightly when I snapped out of my daze, quickly pushing him off me as I made sure my tattoos and scars didn't show. I looked back over to him, my breathing flushed and my body completely frustrated. I could see and practically feel just how frustrated he was, his hair messy because of how much I had ran my hands through it.

"Don't play with my heart Damien, I would fuck you senseless but I need to know if you like me or not. Not in some restaurant bathroom while you're on a goddamn date with Courtney."

He practically growled as he stalked to me, his jaw tense and his eyes dark and intimidating. "Your lecturing me on that but you're on a date with Charles!"

"Oh my god you're such an idiot! Charles is gay you dumbass! I like you and not Charles!" He stared at me, his mouth ajar and his eyes wider than they had been all night. "Night Damien."

I pushed past him and unlocked the door, dismissing the room we were in all together and walking out the front door with as much dignity as I could muster.

It wasn't much, but it was some.

I texted Charles and watched as he emerged quickly, leading me into his car that was parked and idling on the corner. I sat down in the passenger side as silent tears rolled down my cheeks, Charles silently pulling out from the restaurant.

I watched Damien run out of the restaurant and look around, his eyes falling on his car leaving the parking lot. My heart panged, pain pretty much rolling through all my veins when I saw his expression. I knew he liked me, but I didn't know what was holding him back. Whatever it was, he needed to figure it the fuck out.

"What happened?" I took a deep breath before telling him everything, his head nodding along as I encountered everything that had happened. He grinned when I told him how Damien got close to fingering me in the goddamn bathroom of the restaurant, laughing when I told him how I pushed him away.

"I'm pretty screwed." I said when he pulled up to my house, my eyes falling onto the root of all my nightmares.

"Go get some sleep, tomorrow you're going to get your revenge on him. Night kitten." He teased me, laughing as he pulled from my driveway.

I went into my house reluctantly, picking up the occasional bottle from the ground and putting it into the trash. I went upstairs and showered slowly, wincing at the sore muscles I had and the bruises littering me.

I fell asleep that night thinking of Damien, and his strong hands, and this molten eyes that drew me in; even when I didn't want to. God, I loved him.

It hurts, but I did.