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A/N: Make sure you read Ch 24 first. I posted these back to back so you can see both sides

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It's the evening after you overheard Namjoon talking to his ex. You're still at Boram's, the three of you laughing at a reality tv show while eating pizza. Jeffrey has done an incredible job of distracting you, being the exact friend you'd needed.

He filled your ears with praise and affirmations all day, and was quick to rub your back or swallow you into a hug when your tears started to swell. You felt guilty for only thinking of him as an arrogant playboy all this time. He kept you distracted and comforted you at every moment, yet still remained respectful of you as a woman. You have a completely new appreciation for him as a person and friend.

Nanami is on her way; you'd called her to let her know you wanted to leave Boram's once she got off work. It only took about 15 minutes for her to burst through the door, frantically searching for you with her eyes.

As soon as she spots you, she leaps onto the couch and wraps you into a hug, sobbing hysterically. You sit on the couch as her head hangs in your lap, her seat on the ground. As she cries into your lap, you slowly stroke her hair, wondering how you ended up being the one consoling her in this situation.

"Thank you for letting me come over," she sobs into your thigh. "I missed you so much."

You smile weakly down at the top of her head. "Thank you for being patient with me," you mumble. "I'm sorry for disappearing."

She shakes her head and sits up, wiping away her tears. "I heard what that shitty bastard said about you. I don't blame you for running."

"Are you comfortable telling us what happened?" Jeffrey asks, Boram nodding next to you. "I don't want to pressure you into talking if you're not ready. But maybe an outside perspective might help you process things."

You stare at the wall for a moment, trying to collect your thoughts. You don't mind telling them the story, but you're not exactly sure where to start, or what you're allowed to say due to the NDA. Your chest still aches when you think about it.

You breathe in deeply, slowly letting out a long exhale. "I'm not really a sugar baby," you say to them. "I was doing work for him, but it wasn't sex."

"That makes more sense," Jeffrey chuckles. "I mean not that there's anything wrong with being a sugar baby. Get that bread sis. But it just doesn't seem like your thing."

"Yeah," you softly smile at him. "I can't disclose the type of work I was doing, but the end result was me catching feelings and him not feeling the same way."

You feel Nanami tense in your lap.

"I was pretty sure he felt the same way," you sigh, a lump forming in your throat. "Actually I know he felt the same way. But I overheard him telling his ex that I'm nothing more than a business partner to him."

"[Y/N]," Nanami murmurs, looking up at you through her tears. "I talked to Na- I mean him. He didn't mean the things he said. He had reasons."

"Why would he say that to his ex then?" Boram asks.

"I don't know, he even lied to me about who she was in general," a single tear falls from your right eye. "When I asked him who she was, he lied and told me she was just someone who was obsessed with him in the past. He didn't admit he was his ex."

"Why would he not just admit it?" Jeffrey asks, his face contorted in confusion. "Men don't do that unless there's something to hide, I would know. I'm a guy."

You look at Nanami, tears still falling from her eyes.

"He didn't have a good excuse," she whimpers. "He just said he panicked but had planned to tell you afterwards."

"That's sketchy," Boram frowns, gripping the couch cushion. "I know you, [Y/N]. You're a better communicator than all of us combined. There's no reason to lie to you."

"Maybe I didn't do enough," you whisper, more tears streaking down your face. "Maybe I wasn't good enough."

"Shut the fuck up," Nanami growls, standing up to smack your cheeks as she cups your face. "You're the best person on this planet. You deserve the world. You deserve every single good thing that comes your way."

Your lip quivers as you try to contain the sobs boiling up from your chest.

"You deserve all the happiness in the world, and your life will be incredible whether Kim N- whether he is in your life or not." She huffs. "I heard his side and I do sympathize with him. But his side doesn't matter if it makes you feel like shit."

"How am I supposed to believe anything he says?" you sob as she holds your face, your hands gripping her wrists. "I don't know if I can get past it. I don't want to go through that kind of heartbreak again."

Your throat is so tight it makes it hard to breathe, and your chest feels like it's about to cave in. You don't want to get hurt again. You don't want to love a man that lies to you. Or a man that talks to his ex behind your back, regardless of the reason.

The three of them pull you into a group hug, Boram and Nanami sobbing with you; Jeffrey gently stroking your back as he squeezes tighter.

• • • • • • • •

You'd spent the last day and a half mulling over what you should do. Work on Friday had helped distract you for a short while but your thoughts kept you up all night afterwards. The amount of times Namjoon had reached out got overwhelming, so you ended up blocking his number and emailing him.

It's now Saturday night and Nanami is driving you to Namjoon's place. Your stomach is in knots and your chest is still just as heavy as that awful night.

You've decided to be formal and distant with him tonight. You haven't made any definite decisions, but you're thinking it's probably best to part ways in the end. He's an idol. The statistics of you two working out were low from the start. Cutting it off after the contract makes the most sense logically.

Your heart almost beats out of your chest as you knock on the door. You know the passcode but have decided it's best to keep boundaries. You're simply an employee entering his home, it's not appropriate to enter at will.

You're slightly relieved to see Taehyung answer the door, but immediately see Namjoon standing a few feet behind him. You're not even sure what Taehyung said as he passes you to leave.

And of course Namjoon looks incredible tonight. He knows all of your weaknesses, and was going to use them to his advantage.

"H-hey." He stutters nervously.

You sigh heavily as you remove your shoes, realizing this is going to be way harder than you'd hoped. The way he's looking at you makes you want to jump into his arms and forgive him. But you won't let it happen. You're going to protect yourself this time.

You make sure to keep a straight face as you shove his clothes into his arms.

You can do it. You've practiced this one hundred times.

"Here are your clothes that I borrowed," you say to him, "I won't be needing them anymore. As per my email I'd like to keep things between us professional, and officially end this contract in 4 weeks. I am not interested in an extension."

You beeline it for his room, frantically panicking at how fast your heart is beating. The look on his face is absolutely destroying you. The guilt and regret is oozing from his pores, tearing into your defensive armor.

"Can we please talk?" you hear him ask from behind. You refuse to turn around, knowing you'll crack if you look at him.

"[Y/N], please," he begs. "Please just let me explain things to you. I didn't mean any of those things I said to Hae-Ra-"

"Don't say her name," you hiss. Just the mention of that name sends daggers into your heart. "I don't want to know anything about you personally. I'm not interested. You are merely my employer."

Your words come across colder than you intended, but you have no plans of retreating.

Avoiding eye contact, you move past him to the bathroom, closing the door behind you. Your palms press against the counter top and you lean forward, head hanging low.

How am I supposed to do this for a month? This is fucking miserable.

You feel that wretched lump form in your throat again.

Don't you dare. Don't you fucking cry.

You spend a few seconds blinking back the tears before washing your face and brushing your teeth. After a few calming deep breaths, you open the door and head straight for the bed, noticing Namjoon hasn't moved from the position you left him.

You flip onto your side faced away from where he will sleep, scrolling through your phone in hopes of distracting yourself. You hear noises in his closet as he finishes changing, slowly moving towards his side of the bed.

"I'm so sorry, [Y/N]," you hear him croak out. "I'm so sorry for lying to you and I'm so sorry for hurting you."

The pain in his voice sends throbbing pin pricks across your chest. You keep scrolling on your phone but aren't really looking at anything as one million thoughts race through your mind.

"You don't have to answer. You can just lay there in silence," Namjoon says; you can hear him fighting against the tears as his voice trembles. "But please listen. I know you want to keep it professional so just pretend I'm talking to myself. If you want to hate me after I'm done then I will respect it."

You remain completely still, unable to respond due to the mountain sitting in your throat.

He begins telling you his story, and your heart breaks as things finally start clicking. The reason he said those things to his ex, the reason he's so hesitant to commit, the reason he kept asking if you were mad, the reason he holds so many demons inside him.

"But one day she brought me food to the studio, and it was laced with poison."

Every inch of your body is filled with rage. Someone actually had THE Kim Namjoon in love with them and she fucking poisons him. You grip your stomach in an attempt to contain the nausea.

The tears ultimately escape your eyes as he finally admits his feelings.

"I like you so much, and I'm sorry for not admitting it sooner," his voice cracking as you hear the sobs.

Your tears are now uncontrollably falling from your eyes and onto the pillow.

You're hurt. You're angry. But you care about him so much more than you thought possible. You don't want him to hurt. His heartbreak is your heartbreak.

You turn over to find his spot empty and the bedroom door wide open. You slowly make your way to the living room where he sits and your heart shatters all over again.

Namjoon is slouched over on the couch, silently sobbing into his hands. He's Kim Namjoon. He's one of the strongest and influential men you know. And he's sitting on his couch alone, weeping into his palms for you.

You don't know if you can fully forgive him. But you can't stand to see him like this, nor do you want to.

Before you know it you're wrapping your arms around him, stroking his hair as he sobs into your arms. You both cry for a while until Namjoon calms down.

He pulls back to look at you, and you cup his cheek, wiping the tears.

"Let's go to bed," you whisper.

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Chappy 25 ~

Posting back to back so you can see both sides, please praise me

WE HIT #1 in #RMFF 😭💜 Thank you everyone for reading!!!

Y'all please pray for because I changed up the story at the last second after she'd already edited like 3 chapters lmao

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