"Sasha, what's going on here?" Alex says as he steps into my room and I press my lips together moving away and standing up.

"Nothing." I say instantly shaking my head.

"You told me you weren't going to get involved with Nate again." He huffs and I shake my head.

"I-I know but, it's just.....you don't understand." I say wringing my hands out.

"I think I'll go." Nate says standing up and I sigh. He couldn't leave now, I needed him here. He was helping me.

"I think that's a good idea." Alex says crossing his arms and I turn back to Nate.

"You don't have to-"

"It's cool." He says quietly. "I'll peel out, let you talk." He leans over to give me a hug. "I'll call you-"

"No you won't." Alex says. "You'd better not or your ass is grass Carter. I'll make sure you don't play all season." Nate nods and slowly slides back out the window. Before I know it, he's gone and I feel a tear run over my cheek.

"Why did you do that?" I ask walking over and closing my door to keep the conversation private.

"Sasha what do you think you're doing?" He asks angrily.

"What do I think I'm doing?" I ask angrily. "I'm enjoying having a friend. You know something most average high schoolers get to have?"

"You and I both know that Nate is not just a friend to you." He says pointedly.

"You're right, he's my best friend." I say and he sighs.

"Oh Sash, he's been out of your life for four years. He's not." He says narrowing his eyes and I roll my own.

"Well then it speaks volumes to my bustling social life that he's still the person I'm closest to, doesn't it." I spit feeling more overwhelmed now than before.

"Forget hanging out with him or getting an innocent ride to school, you're bringing him into our house?" He asks incredulously and I nod.

"Yes, I am." I say crossing my arms. "Remind me why this is your business?"

"Because I'm your brother and I care about you." He says. "Don't think I don't remember the day you came home in tears because Nate wouldn't talk to you at school."

"We were kids." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"You're still kids!" He says. "He's been picking at you for years and I've been stepping in to save you."

"You and I both know he's never been the instigator of any of it." I say. "It's mostly his friends, he was just trying to fit in."

"So that makes it alright?"

"No, it doesn't make it alright!" I say angrily. "But he's apologized, we've talked it out. What does he have to gain from being my friend again Alex?" I ask. "He wouldn't be doing it if he wasn't serious, there's a good chance he'll lose his other friends too."

"What he wants from you isn't friendship, Sasha." He says and I pull back feeling insulted he'd even suggest something like that.

"I can't believe you." I say shaking my head. "First of all, I can't believe you think I'd just use Nate to sleep with him. When you know full well that sex in general makes me pretty uncomfortable. Second of all, he hasn't done anything to me to make me believe that's what he wants. And even if he does, you don't think I'd have the common sense to turn him down?" I ask harshly and he looks a little upset.

"And even if that is what I want, who cares? How is it even your business? For the record I've only kissed one person in my entire life so I'm not exactly looking to sleep with my best friend from childhood." I say sarcastically.

"You don't really think I'm stupid enough to believe you don't have any romantic feelings for Nate, do you?" He asks and I roll my eyes.

"No, I don't." I say quietly shaking my head. A total lie but he didn't have the right to know.

"Or that he doesn't have any for you?"

"Alex enough!" I say crossing my arms. "Even if he does guess what? In the three weeks we've been talking he hasn't said anything or given me some indication of it, or tried to make out with me, or pulled out a condom, so shut up!"

"See it's when you say things like that, that I don't believe you." He says. "Woah, three weeks?" He asks sounding more confused and I nod.

"Yes, three weeks." I tell him. "He's here for moral support. All we were doing was talking! He asked what's been going on with my life and I told him. I told him about how alone I feel, how much I feel overwhelmed with my skating."

"Sasha, I remember how devastated you were when he disappeared from your life. What happens if he's gone again?" He asks and I huff.

"Then I move on with my life." I say with a shrug. "But that's not what's happening."

"Why don't you just talk with me or Nik about this stuff, why does it have to be him?" He asks and I run my hands over my face.

"Because it's just different. You're my brother, you live here and you're apart of this stuff. There's some stuff I don't want to discuss with you, there's stuff I don't want to say because you've heard it a thousand times. There's stuff I feel bad about complaining about, there's things I like to talk about with him because we grew up together.

"I need him right now." I whisper quietly feeling too choked up to speak loudly. "He's here for me right now when I want him to be. He came to my competition today to watch me skate, he helped me land my triple axel....he's the reason I feel like skating anymore." I admit quietly.

"Dad refuses to let me skate my own way. He doesn't let me talk to him about anything I want, he doesn't like the fact that I've gotten more advanced on my own. Nate listens to the way I'm feeling, instead of answering me or trying to fix it he just lets me let it out. He's one of the only people who I feel like I can cry around.

"But that doesn't mean I love you any less. I'm sorry that we didn't have a great start growing up alright? But you and Nik are two of the people I depend on the most, because I know you know what I'm feeling." I say and he softens his face giving me a sad look.

"Sasha, I don't want you to get hurt. He left the club when you needed him and only because he wanted to make friends-"

"Is that what you think?" I ask. "Alex, he left because dad told him I was training to be a champion. He told him to stay away and stop distracting me, that I was serious about my future as a figure skater. Of course he also wanted to be a kid but dad scared him away."

"Dad pressured someone outside of our family into quitting?" He asks and I shrug.

"Partially, but yes." I say. "He wasn't ready for the pressure."

"I-I didn't-"

"Yeah, you didn't know." I say shaking my head.

"I still don't think this is a good idea." He says and I sigh.

"I know you don't and I appreciate your concern. But it's not up to you, right now he's doing a lot of good for me." I tell him and he nods.

"Who else knows about this?" He asks and I sigh.

"Micheal and Nate's mom." I say. "I'd ask you to keep it to yourself but if you feel the need to tell someone, that's up to you. I just want you to consider the fact that it's not just me, it's him too."

"Why were you cuddling?" He asks and I roll my eyes.

"Because it's nice." I say quietly. "Because when your own parents don't love you it's nice to be held and told that everything's going to be okay. It's nice to feel like the world isn't on my shoulders for a few minutes. And despite our relationship Alex, I'm not going to suggest you and I do that." He laughs a bit and nods to himself.

"You're not....going to him because you don't feel safe with Nik or I right?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Of course not. You and Nik are the people I trust most in this whole world. It's just nice to have a non blood-related relative as a friend." I point out and he nods.

"Point taken." He says and I nod thankful he was listening to me now. "You're lucky it wasn't Nik he would have beat the shit out of him without a second thought." I laugh a bit and nod.

"No thank god you're the sensitive one." I tease. "Look, this is important to me. I know you don't like this but you need to trust me and I need to make my own mistakes."

"Be careful." He says and I roll my eyes for the hundredth time during this conversation.

"Alex, give it a rest." I say and he raises his hands in defence. "This is me we're talking about here, I wouldn't let someone in who I didn't trust."

"So, is the reason he was here? Because the competition went bad?" He asks and I shake my head.

"No, I won. I had a really good score too, the best I've ever had." I say proudly showing him my score sheet.

"Then what's wrong?" He asks and I sigh.

"I won because I changed dad's choreography. I didn't ask him first but I needed to do it, to advance it a bit, make it more challenging. It worked."

"So I'm confused, dad's upset about it?" He says and I nod.

"Haven't you met our father?" I ask in a teasing voice. "Not the most understanding man. Whenever me or my coaches would bring up stuff like that he wouldn't even let us finish a sentence. This was the only way."

"But he doesn't want you to do it again?" He asks still sounding confused.

"That's right, he's deliberately doing something to stroke his own ego. It's going to screw me, but I can't lose Kate and Johnathan and have him coach me alone, I'll go insane." I tell him and he nods.

"Well a one-forty-one is pretty good." He says and I nod with a smile.

"I know, part of me likes the fact that I did it without dad's help." I admit and he laughs.

"Nik!" He say yelling down the hall and soon enough he's in my room too. "Look at this." Alex says and passes him the score sheet.

"A one-forty-one?" He asks and I nod.

"Point two." I add and he gives me a hug spinning me around.

"Look at you." He says and I nod proudly. "Well I think we should go out and celebrate this win. Dad won't be back for a while."

"Alright, can I change?" I ask and they both laugh.

"If you want." Nik says and they both leave while I change out of my sweatpants and into a pair of jeans. Before I head for the door I put on some mascara, change my earrings and make a split-second decision to pull the pins out of my hair and wear it down for a change.

"Alright." I say walking over and Nik furrows his eyebrows.

"You don't normally wear your hair like that." He says and I shrug.

"Thought I'd try something new out." I say and he nods.

The three of us head downstairs trying to sneak out without being noticed. Mom may have already gone to bed and dad was gone. We leave and hop into Alex's car and he starts it up.

"How about we go for a ride?" He asks and I smile with a nod.

"Only if the destination is to get ice cream." I say and he laughs.

"You drive a hard bargain Sasha, but I must say I'm down." Nik says making me laugh.

Soon enough we're pulling up to go inside but before we get through the door, Alex grabs my arm.

"I won't say anything alright?" He asks. "I'm sorry I scared him off." I give him a big hug and nod quietly.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it." I say and he nods.

"Alright guys, I know it's great Sasha won but I'm hungry. Let's celebrate more once we've ordered." Nik says and I run in after him.