This has to be a dream, there's no way that this is happening, everything's just too perfect. I know she was upset when I broke the news about the scheduling conflict to end all scheduling conflicts. But at the end of the day there was nothing to do but be supportive.

This wasn't what I had planed for our evening, I just thought some nice romance could be in order after a few busy weeks, but I was happy to make an exception.

The amount of times I'd pictured this bordered on creepy, but Sasha was the most amazing girl I knew. I always wondered if we were meant to be more than friends when we were little and now she loved me back. Every girl I'd ever kissed or messed around with before her never felt right, something was missing.

The girl who hated me two and a half months ago and refused to talk to me, was my girlfriend. She was back in my life as the same person she was all those years ago, but we'd grown up. I'd changed and so had she, Sasha had become mature and she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Every time I got to put my arm around her or kiss her I thought about how lucky I was.

I dreamt about her, wondered if she was alright, worried about her. She was mine and I was hers.

I carry her up the stairs and bring her to my room at the end of the hall, shutting the door. I worried that she might not really be ready for this, we'd only been official for a few weeks now. But I'd known her for ten years, I watched her get more and more beautiful everyday.

She wraps her arms around the back of my neck and kisses me quietly. This didn't feel wrong, everything felt intense, it was like there was no air to breathe in the room.

"Wait." I whisper and set her down.

"What is it?" She asks and I smile.

"One second." I say quietly and she nods.

I find the candles I had from last weekend and quickly put them on the nightstands and dresser in my room, trying not to overdo it. I know how cheesy it is but I knew Sasha wanted to feel special. She was important to me and I wanted this to be perfect. Then I light them as quickly as I can and turn off my bedroom light, leaving a warm glow in the room.

When I look back I see her standing with her eyes closed. I laugh a bit and walk over standing behind her. "Nobody said you had to close your eyes." I tell her and she smiles. "Open them." I run my fingertips up her arms and I hear her gulp.

"Oh Nathan." She whispers and I smile, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"I love you." I tell her quietly. "There's no rush."

She nods and turns around to face me, running her hands over my chest. "I want this." She tells me, pressing her lips together.

"You're sure?" I ask and she nods. "There's no undoing this." I remind her and she smiles.

"Who else would I want to do it with?" She asks with a laugh. "I've loved you as long as I can remember, you're my boyfriend and I'm ready." She says more quietly, pushing up onto her toes. "Just because it's my first time doesn't mean I'm unsure."

I smile and bring her close, leaning down to kiss her again. I pull my shirt over my head and lift her up, laying her down on my bed a second later. I feel her legs wrap around my waist and I groan.

For a while we roll around in bed, hands running over each other, completely intertwined. I didn't want to rush it and I didn't want to push her into something if she wasn't ready. I feel her shift around as she pulls her shirt over her head and my eyes roam over her body.

Once again I'm taken aback by just how pretty Sasha is. I could never get tired of her body, she's completely breath-taking. I move my hands up over her breasts, feeling the soft lace under my palms. She sighs and throws her head back on the bed, only driving me crazier. Sasha has no idea how hot she is.

I feel her hands move to my pants and she starts undoing them, I can't control how I feel anymore, I want her too badly. I feel myself go hard and she sighs, running her hands over my back again.

Everything just felt electric, nothing felt forced or wrong. We flowed together, one thing after the other in perfect harmony. I pass her skirt running my hands up her thighs instead and I hear her breathing get faster. This skirt drove me crazy, it fit her perfectly and was just a little too short.

I reach up and pull down her tights. When I reach her underwear I take them too, pulling them all the way down her gorgeous legs. She reaches behind her to undo it but I grab her arms.

"Leave it." I whisper in her ear and she smiles.

The whole skirt with no underwear thing was doing evil things to my mind. She looks at me with wide eyes, wondering what I'll do next and I smile pulling back off of her. I kneel on the floor and grab her hips bringing her closer. Now she looks even more confused but I smile, kissing the inside of her knee.

She gasps a bit and I move up her thigh, placing another one. I pull the hem of her skirt up to her hips and she gives me a strange look. I get further up and place one on her hip and I watch her chest heave up and down.

"Nathan." She whispers, sitting up. "What are you-"

"Relax." I say holding her shoulders. "It's nothing bad."

"What is it?" She asks and I smile, holding her hip and giving it a squeeze.

"Remember this?" I ask and slide my hand over, moving my fingers over her once and her eyes shut. She nods quickly, licking her lips. "It's just like that." She turns a bit red and I smile, giving her a small kiss.

I knew that this wouldn't be any fun for Sasha, that's why I treated this so seriously. It's going to end up hurting and she's making a sacrifice for the two of us. I just want her to enjoy it to some degree, remember the experience differently.

She lays back down on the bed and I smile, kissing my way back down her body. She's squirming around by the time I'm back to her hip and I start working my way closer to her centre. I start at her entrance, hearing an audible gasp and I slowly swipe my tongue up.

"Oh." Is all I hear from Sasha and I smile a bit to myself.

I just continue what she seems to enjoy, eventually she stops worrying and fully gets into it, running her hands over her face. I hold her waist, listening to her heavy breathing. I knew how unfamiliar and strange all of this must seem for Sasha, all I wanted was for her to get lost in the moment and just feel.

"Nathan." I hear her gasp and I keep going, knowing she's close. "Nathan." She sounds more frantic now and I smile. "Oh my.....-" She gasps and I feel her legs tightening around me. I keep going until her legs go limp and when I pull back to kiss her thigh again, she's got her hands over her eyes, breathing in and out.

"Oh my god." She whispers to herself and I move back on top of her.

"Look at me." I say quietly and she moves her hands away from her face. "Alright?" I ask and she nods, pressing her lips together. She leans in and gives me a quick kiss and pulls back, resting her hand on the side of my face.

"That was nice." She whispers and I laugh to myself.

"I'm glad." I tell her and kiss the side of her neck. She groans slightly and I work to unzip her skirt. I pull it down slightly and feel my heartbeat pick up when I realize she's guiding my own pants down too. I pull back and pull her skirt down the rest of the way, followed by my own pants.

I lean over and quickly rummage through my nightstand and find the one thing I forgot the first time, a condom. Her eyes widen and I put it on the bed next to her.

"Are you sure you're sure?" I ask and she nods. "We can stop now, just say the word."

"Nathan I'm sure." She whispers and I nod. She sits up and reaches behind her, taking her bra off. "I'm done waiting, I know what I want." She says and leans in close to my ear. "Make me yours."

I feel like I'm sweating. I'm so out of control with my breathing I almost can't see straight. I don't think I've ever wanted somebody like this before.

"Move up on the bed." I whisper and she nods, sliding up so her head is on one of my pillows. I slowly take off my boxers, the last piece of clothing to go. I crawl back over her, kneeling between her legs and I pick up the foil wrapper.

I rip it open and watch her eyes, totally captivated in fascination as I grab the condom and roll it down. I lean back down, supporting myself on my elbows.

"Listen to me." I whisper and she nods. "This is probably going to hurt a lot." I warn her and she nods. "If you want to stop, tell me. If you want me to slow down, tell me. Sasha I need you to talk to me when we do this alright?" She nods again and kisses my cheek.

"Alright." She says and I kiss her forehead.

"One last time, are you-"

"Yes I'm sure." She says with a laugh and I laugh a bit too. "I love you for being careful and I know you don't want to hurt me, but I trust you."

"Okay, sorry." I tell her and she smiles, giving me a quick kiss.

I move back, brushing up against her inner thigh. As soon as I'm aligned with her entrance I kiss the birthmark on her stomach and caress her hip.

"Deep breath, Sash." I whisper and she nods.

I brush up against her and I hear her gasp a bit, I make eye contact with her and she takes a deep breath. I slowly and carefully start to push into her.

"Ah." She says quietly. She closes her eyes and I know she's in a great deal of pain. I wait a second and listen to her breathing get heavier. "Keep going." She whispers and I sigh moving in to about half-way.

Then I just start to feel awful, I watch as tears run over her cheeks and she presses her lips together. I never wanted to put her through a bunch of pain, and knowing it only felt bad for one of us was just making me feel guilty.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and she shakes her head.

"It's alright." She says through gritted teeth. "Just wait a second."

I listen to her, trying to keep still. I wanted her to have time to adjust to it properly.

"You can move." She whispers and I wipe her tears away with my thumbs.

"Are you sure you don't want to stop?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"I'm sure, Nathan if we do it two years from now it'll still feel exactly like this." She reminds me and I nod. "It's alright, just do it."

I take a deep breath and press in as far as I can go. Sasha's squinted her eyes shut again and digs her fingernails into my back.

"Are you alright?" I ask and she nods, taking deep breaths.

I can feel her stretching over me, adjusting to this. I didn't want her in pain but I did want to do this with her. I wanted it to be me, and as slow as this is I'm thankful it wasn't someone else first.

I was just trying to keep my mind clear, I couldn't get-off this fast it would be a disaster. But everything about this was so perfect.

"Can I move?" I ask and she nods taking a deep breath.

"Just go slow." She whispers.

I listen, thankful for any sort of relief. I pull out at bit and slide back in hearing a quiet gasp. She nods, encouraging me to continue. I go slowly, in and out just a bit each time.

"Are you still okay?" I ask and she nods.

"I'm fine." She whispers and I slowly start to feel her relax, the tension seems to leave her body and I feel her wrap her legs around my back.

I keep the same pace knowing I didn't want her to feel overwhelmed. I wouldn't change anything without her expressed permission.

"Nathan." I hear her moan over my shoulder.

"Talk to me Sasha." I breathe. "What's going on?"

"It's okay." She whispers. "It's starting to feel good."

I felt relieved by her saying that, it gave me a lot of comfort. This wasn't something I could take whatever liberties I wanted with, doing that could really hurt her.

"Well I don't know if good's the word." She whispers and I laugh a bit. "But it's tolerable."

"That's what I'm going for." I tease and she laughs a bit.

"A-are you.....you know....."

"Close?" I ask and she nods. "I've been close since I put on the condom." I tell her and she laughs a bit through her teary eyes.

"You can go a bit faster." She whispers breathlessly. "If it helps." I nod and take her up on that offer, starting to move in and out a bit faster. She wraps around me completely and I feel a ball of heat starting to form at the base of my spine.

"You feel so good." I whisper in her ear, knowing I don't even sound like myself. I hear her sigh in my ear and I start to tip over the edge.

"I love you Nathan." She says quietly and I can't take it anymore.

"Baby I'm there." I tell her and she nods quietly.

I fill the condom, feeling that ball of heat explode. I grip the headboard and finish quickly. "Fuck." I breathe and nearly collapse on top of her. "Are you okay?" I ask suddenly feeling worried and she nods with a smile.

"I'm perfect." She whispers.

I slowly pull out and she presses her lips together. I get up and get rid of the condom, throwing it away and walk back to Sasha who seems happily out of it in bed.

"Hey." She whispers with a guilty smile and I smile too, crawling in next to her.

"Hey." I say quietly, kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry, I know that probably wasn't a whole lot of fun."

"Of course it was." She says with a small laugh. "I wanted that with you, nobody else. You're right, it didn't feel wonderful but it was alright by the end."

"I love you." I whisper. "I really do, Sasha. That was a big deal." She nods and moves over, laying on my chest. "Thank you for trusting me."

"I love you too." She whispers back kissing my chest. "These kept running over my neck and chest the whole time." She teases, hooking her fingers over the dog-tags and I laugh.

"Sorry." I tell her and she smiles.

"I don't mind, it makes me happy to see you wearing them." She whispers.

"Are you really alright?" I ask, putting my hand on her waist. I was worried she might regret some part of this deep down inside, that maybe she thought she should've waited.

"I really am." She says, running her fingers through my hair. "Do you know how often I get hurt when I train? Compared to breaking my nose and getting a concussion it felt wonderful." I really laugh at that and she laughs a bit too. "There's not a part of that I regret Nathan." She says very seriously. "I wanted to do it and I knew what it entailed, it was worth it."

I lean down and give her a quiet kiss and I feel her wrap her arms around me tighter. She pulls back a second later and traces her finger over my chest. I flinch a bit under her touch but she just smiles, looking back to me.

"Do you think we were inevitable?" She asks looking back to me and I smile, running my fingers through her hair.

"Absolutely." I whisper and she smiles. "We've been close since we were six, we always told each other everything, I've always loved you, always had feelings for you, even if I didn't know it at the time. Even if we never made up and went our separate ways, I would be thinking about you until we crossed paths again.

"There's this thing I can't explain with us." I tell her and she nods. "I feel connected to you, I know I trust you and that we're here for each other. No matter if we got together at twelve or thirty-two, we'd still feel like this."

She nods a bit, kissing my chest and I sigh, running my hands over her back. "I'll never felt anything like this before." She whispers. "I don't think I ever will again, god that's scary."

"Terrifying." I nod and she smiles. "But wouldn't have it any other way."

"Neither would I." She whispers, pressing her face into my chest.

I found myself feeling really happy for the rest of the night, not just because we'd had sex, but because we'd been connected in a whole other way. Because we were as close as two people get, and there's nothing more fitting for the two of us.