All day long I have been contemplating in my head of rather or not last night Abe saw me cut myself on my inner thigh. I hope not.

I know it sounds stupid and crazy. It's just, last night I was out on a date after being asked by one of the guys who was nineteen years old and one of our regular's when he tried to assault me. Of course I fought back and in the end ended up escaping but, he hit me really hard and all I could think about was how it was my fault. I should have known better than to have gone on a date with anyone.

Then afraid that the sheriff's department was owned or corrupted as I have known the ones from where I grew up at were, I just did what I always resorted to. Eating and or cutting. Since there was no good junk food, I resorted to that.

I don't like being this way and this fucked up but then again, that's life sometimes, right? People need fucked up people to make them feel better about themselves.

When Abe knocked on my door, I was terrified. Afraid he might have seen me do the cutting but, he didn't mention anything. In which he seems to be the kind of person that would have so since he didn't, maybe I'm in the clear.

After closing up the diner, Rudy gave me a ride back to the house while he left and went to meet up with some friends to play his Thursday night Poker game.

I stayed at the house and turned on the TV. Then not an hour after I started a movie, I heard the front door open and looked out the corner of my eye and saw it was Abe.

I noticed him standing in front of the living room entrance, looking at me as I continued to look at the TV.

I had hoped he would head off to bed and leave me be but no such luck as I see him walking over towards me and plops down beside me on the couch.

"What are ya watchin'?" He asks.

"Nothing in particular." I reply as I take the remote and begin scrolling through some genres.

"Listen..." I hear him begin. "I know it's none of my business but, last night, were you hurting yourse....." He started but I stopped him.

Damnit! He DID see.

"You know, you really should work on not eavesdropping." I snap at him.

"I wasn't. I was legit, on my way to my room and when I walked by I heard you crying and I don't know, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He snaps back. "Sorry for giving a shit." He says under his breath before standing up and getting ready to leave.

"Wait!" I burst out loud while standing.

He stops and turns to look at me and now I feel embarrassed as ever.

"What?!" He asks.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. And I would like it if you didn't tell anyone." I tell him.

"I won't under one condition." He says.

"What?" I hesitate to ask.

"Tell me why you do it." He says.

I look at him and am taken back a little as he is one of the first people to actually ask me that and be genuine in wanting to know the answer. So I sit back down on the couch with my hands on my lap.

"I haven't done it in a while. When I do it, I just feel better. It's more out of habit for me. Just like my emotional eating habit, I do this as well. To punish myself." I confess.

Damnit! Even I wasn't this opened to my therapist years back.

I next notice him walk over beside me and take a seat on the couch to my left.

"What do you feel you've done to punish yourself in that way?" He asks.

"I just made a mistake is all." I replied. "I really don't want to get into what happened." I tell him.

It's quiet for a moment and then I hear him let out a breath before saying anything.

"Okay. Just, I know it's not my place right now but please don't do it again." I hear him ask with plead in his voice.

I look at him and notice his eyes are tearing up.

"Okay." I promise him.

We end up hanging out for the next couple of hours and watch a couple movies before heading off to bed.

I guess maybe he isn't such a bad guy after all. Although my judge of character has gotten a bit rusty lately. Who knows, maybe we could become good friends.