"You okay?" Sophia asked me.

I was beyond infuriated but more embarrassed. She knew Quinn, and the fact she told me that Quinn hated me, had my heart shattering. Sophia walked closer but I advised her not to. I was just wondering what was taking my brother so long to get out his room. He and Queen were in there for far too long. Sophia suddenly grabbed my chin and tried to force her lips on me. I pushed her back. "Listen...

Her face fell as she awaited for my response. I couldn't help how I was feeling, and I just couldn't be with someone that afflicted pain on Quinn. I felt like she was already haunting me with this new girl. "I want to break up"

I was waiting for a slap, scream, or something worse. But instead I saw her face get all teary eyed. "I don't understand Jin. This happened years ago. Quinn is dead. Why are you blaming me-

"I'm not blaming you-

"Then why are you breaking up with me?" She said now looking at the floor. There was a hard lump in the middle of my throat and I paused for a second. Was I making the right choice? Did I even love her? Why did I even start dating in the first place? My heart can never heal. "Can I ask you something?" I said

She slowly looked up. "What?"

I crossed my arms and let out a short breath. "Why were you so mean to her? Weren't you her friend? Why did you abandon her and become her bully?"

...Jin, I was a kid. I just wanted to..fit in...." she said whispering at the last part. "If I could take it back..I would" Then she grabbed ahold of my hand "please don't do this. Don't leave me. I love you too much...I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Grow old together, die together..."

I pulled her into a tight hug before pressing my lips on her forehead.

She was too feisty for me. Earlier I tried to get away from her, and she forced her lips on me; unleashing my belt and everything. Stopping at nothing to get me to stay.

But I just can't.

I have way more respect for her then that.

"...you will find the perfect one. Unfortunately I am not that one."

She started whimpering. When I tried to get a good look at her face, she grabbed my face to try to attempt to kiss me again. Her lips slowly brushed mine and that's when Matt's door burst open. Queen and her daughter slowly slid out. She gave Matt a quick wave before making her way back down the hallway. Her eyes met mine, they illustrated pure hate. Her little girl was too busy playing with her hair to notice me, but when she did, she made sure to wave at me. Queen then picked up her daughter, gave me one last glare before leaving.

I finally pushed Sophia off me and tried to wish her the best. I let her know that there are guys out there that would give her what she wants.

"Can't believe you're breaking up with me over some dead girl that will never come back. I can tell you will never be happy in your future relationships" she spit out before strutting off; weeping in silence.

~~~

I did not want to train today. I stayed in bed for about a few hours. Nick and Zack came in my room later that day. They did not look smitten at my lazy attitude. "Please help us" Zack started. I didn't even look over to them. I continued on staring at the ceiling. "Jin do you hear me? That guy Jackson has really been egging us on"

That caught my attention. "How?"

"I think he is too good for this camp. Today's drill was to learn how to defend yourself over an enemy and he almost broke my arm when I used him as an example. I looked pathetic up there" Zack stated. His brother chuckled "he made you look like an amateur"

Zack shoved his brother and joined me in the bed; sitting on the edge making sure not to touch me. "What's wrong? I heard about the break up with Sophia, so you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head "no.... I'm not mad over that"

"Then what?"Nick said making himself comfortable on my Minnie sofa. I sighed "Do you think I'm a bad person?"

The brothers stared at each-other before both saying "no, is this about Sophia?"

I sat up annoyed "no! I just-Jackson told me Sophia also bullied Quinn..and now...I just feel like killing myself"

Everyone got quiet. Too quiet.

"Jin, we can't change it. We all suffered our karma from this. We were dumb little freshmen. If I can go back and change things, I would. You can't keep letting this effect your life. She's gone. Okay?" Zack said squeezing my foot for comfort. But I pushed him back with it. "I can't just get over it...." I said

As soon as the whole school learned about Quinn's death, everything changed. Everything just turned dark. All four of us including Dylan didn't even make it on the football team. Our grades flipped and we had no choice but serve our country. It taught us appreciation and self worth. I thought maybe if I was ever placed into war, god can just take my life away so I can join Quinn.

"Don't tell me you're having suicidal thoughts again"

Everyone stared up at Dylan. He walked through my door without a knock or anything. He stood over me like a dissappointed parent. "This happens every year Jin. When are you going to just get over it?"

I frowned. I sometimes I forget why I even forgave him. But then I remembered he had no family left. His mom overdosed, and he had no one. Her death actually humbled him into a better person. But every time I thought of Quinn, it had me mad at him all over again.

Dylan took my silence as confirmation "you need to go back home. Get some help."

"I can't just leave camp, these people depend on me...my brother depends on me..." I said laying back down. "No....you need to go home. Have a week off. Get your mind straight. I have a feeling that girl is bringing you thoughts of Quinn and it's not healthy" he said eyeing my necklace. It was a gift that Dylan gave me as an apology weeks after Quinn passed. Her face was plastered on the pendant.

"Yeah she looks a lot like Quinn, maybe this place isn't healthy for you" Zack added agreeing with Dylan

My finger tips traced the lining of Quinn's face and I almost lost it. I had to really bite hard on my lip. "Yeah you're right, I'll leave tomorrow-

"No you will leave tonight. The sooner you can get help, the better"

I didn't want to cry in front of them. I hated crying. Took a lot of energy, and it showed signs of weakness. I'm sure they were tired of hearing about Quinn by now. "Yeah, let me rest, and I'll go"

Dylan gave me a quick hug followed by the rest. "Call us before you go..." Zack said.

I faked a smile "good luck with Jackson. I have a feeling he joined the military before"

I wasn't so sure, but I wouldn't be surprised. He was just too good for his own good.

Once the boys left me alone. I laid on my bed until I finally fell asleep.

~~~~

I woke up around 9pm. I had a nightmare about Quinn. I watched her hang herself while ignoring my cries to not do it. I tried to run for her, to help stop this horrid act. But it's like the faster I ran, the slower I got to her.

Then it was too late.

I couldn't stand this anymore. I wiped off my sweaty forehead and got up. I went through my closet and found the revolver I hid from my friends. I attempted suicide twice. They were always there to stop me. But not this time. I couldn't handle the pain. I wanted to die. That was the whole reason I joined the damn army. I wanted to die as a hero, but as of right now, I didn't care. I placed one bullet in. Why not just play Russian roulette for the hell of it.

I sat on the edge of my head and placed the revolver on my temple. I pulled the trigger. A loud click went off. I didn't even flinch. I was just disappointed. I pulled it again. Nothing. Pulled it again. Nothing. One last time, as I was about to pull it, a squeak of my door halted me. Scared, I pointed the gun at whoever came in. Tiny little hands opened my door wider and Dream was now facing me. Once she saw my gun she squealed.

Not out of fear

But excitement.

She ran towards and I quickly hid the gun. She tried to retrieve it telling me she wanted to have a water gun fight.

What?

Still confused I used my one hand to stop her from moving. But she was so squirmy it was hard to.

My brother soon walked in with some books in hand. Before I could question him, he handed me all four of them. "She wants you to read her a bedtime story"

Appalled I let Dream lose and she got on my lap picking out her favorite book. It read "the elephant and the ant"

What the hell?

"Are you serious Matt? Why don't you read her a bedtime story?"

He chuckled "I AM BLIND!! besides she said she wanted her asshole father to read her a bedtime story. I mean she is your daughter after all" he smirked.

Dream got excited after Matt said that. She flipped to the first page and told me to start reading. I shot daggers at my blind brother; he's so lucky he's blind. I wanted him to see my face. "Where is her mother?" I asked

"She is trying to teach herself how to swim down at the waterfall. I mean I can't teach her-

"Why not?"

He grabbed his chin still smirking "hmmm I don't know, maybe cause I'm BLIND"

That's a stupid excuse. He's done a lot of surprising things with being blind.

"Well...I can't read her a book."

"And why not?"

"Because I-I have to leave, to go home"

He frowned realizing why.

Dream started to cry. "Can you read her a goddamn bedtime story man! She's not easy to please. She's just like you. Father and daughter-

"She's not my daughter" I said already disgusted at that fact. I don't want to be a father. Not now. Not in the future. Not ever. Dream looked up at me and poked out her lower lip "you're not?"

Her big blue eyes were already about to burst into tears. I sucked in my pride and forced a smile. "I'm just kidding"

Her smile returned and she started poking at the words. "Read, read!"

Matt was clearly enjoying this. "I'm going to head to bed. Let Queen know that alright. And make sure she's not out too long. Keep an eye on her"

"And why can't you?"

He lowered his eyes at me "maybe because I'm BLIND!"

I was about to say something smart but Dream insisted that I begin to read.

I waited until Matt left the room for me to start reading. She stood on my legs and clung to my neck watching as my fingers traced every word I read out loud to her. When I finished with the first book she clapped her hands and said "good job, another one"

"No, let's go find your mom"

Dream shook her head and pulled out another book. Once she gave it to me, she got on my bed and went under the covers. "Tuck me in"

I stood up "no, no...no. You are not sleeping on my bed-

She giggled and pulled the covers over her head. I peeled them off of her and she clung to my arm like a tick. "Read me another. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please..."

She repeated at least 50 "pleases" before I got annoyed. I gave in and read her another book. While I was reading her the bed time story, I could tell she was slowly falling asleep. I started massaging her tiny face in a circular motion just like how my father used to do when I was little. It always put me to sleep.

Within minutes Dream was knocked out; already drooling on my pillow.

I didn't get upset. The sight actually made me smile. She looked like a small little angel. I made sure to place my covers on her chest, I didn't want her to be smothered by them. I fluffed the pillow and made sure to place the gun back to where it was.

I checked the time.

10:30pm

Everyone should be asleep by now.

But I needed to check on Queen.

I quietly left and made sure to shut the door quietly. I walked to the path of the waterfall and stopped dead in my tracks when I spotted her.

She was naked.

Why the hell was she naked? I mean yeah it was humid outside but damn.

Her back was towards me. Her head was knelt down to the edge of the water. She looked like she was afraid to get any closer. I walked closer, so close I now could see everything. I tried hard not to stare. "Hey what are you doing?" I whispered

She flinched towards me; neck almost breaking because of how fast she turned. Once we made eye contact she jumped into the water. "What are you doing?!" She screamed.

I frowned as I watched her body get further from me. "Just looking out for you...had to make sure you weren't dead"

"Well I'm not!" She fired back. "I don't need a bully like you to look out for me, where is Matt? He promise to teach me how to swim"

I gritted my teeth at her comment. The word "bully" still angers me to this day. And the fact Matt manipulated me to talk to Queen made me even more mad. What was the purpose of doing that? I knew he could teach her, I just knew it. "Why are you naked?" I finally asked

She fell quiet "it's..it's hot..."

I nodded sarcastically "righhhttt. So you don't need help?"

"Not from you" she hissed getting further away to the point the water was at her neck. I shrugged "okay, well goodnight then" I slowly turned and like I predicted she called out for me "Jin...get me to land. I-I'm scared"

"Oh so you do need my help after all?" I asked switching around

She nodded now water on her chin. She started to panic "please! Oh my god! I'm going to die"

"Queen float..kick your legs and-

"Get me the hell out of the water! I can't FLOAT!" She screeched so high I had to make sure my ears weren't bleeding. I quickly took off my shirt and dove in the water. She was flapping her hands like a lunatic while screaming for help. When I got to her she clutched onto my neck so hard I couldn't breathe. I started to sink and she panicked even more. Quinn started to drown me as she tried to climb my face.

Her naked body was climbing my fucking face

I tried to calm her down but she started to cry. "I'm going to die, I'm going to die"

I slowly swam to the cave. The water level wasn't that deep, I needed to catch my breath before she killed me. Once I could actually stand, I shoved her off me. "You almost killed me, you have to learn to relax" I said

I watched her start flapping her arms again to keep from getting under the water

annoyed I grabbed her waist and made her stand up. The water stopped at our chest.

She was so annoying.

Once she realized this she started smiling. "I'm alive, I'm alive!" She said diving in for a hug. I tried to flinch away but she held me tight. Her breast were all smeared in my chest..so I pulled her off me

....and that's when I really looked at her.

Her eyes, her beautiful big brown eyes. I could stare into them all day. My eyes then lowered. I witnessed Her lips.... they were so plump and full...I wanted to taste them.

And I did.

There was a really big flat rock in the cave. He placed me on it. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him.

How did this happen. Here we were hating each other, and now...I'm laying flat on a rock while he was taking off his pants.

I'm about to have sex with my bully.