Did Matt really just kiss me?

He did! He really did just kiss me.

It started off slow, but sped up. As soon as I touched his arm to keep balance from falling off the bed, that's when he decided to break apart. Kissing him had me floating, made me feel dizzy and honestly, I wanted to do it again.

He was so nice, too nice.

And for once, I felt like I was genuinely liked. He didn't care what I looked like. I could be fat, skinny, tall, short, yellow, blue...it doesn't matter.

He liked me, for me.

And it was comforting.

We just sat there. Listening to my daughter munch on her food. I thanked god he was blind, I didn't want him to see how nervous I was.

"Can I ask you something" he finally asked

I don't know why my heart immediately dropped. I slowly muffled a "sure" awaiting for the worst. Matt smiled and brushed his locks from his eyes. "Answer truthfully okay?"

I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

He pointed to Dream and whispered "is Jin her father?"

Silence

How could he have known? What did I do to give him that impression? I mean he's blind, how could he possibly see it?

I was thinking so hard I forgot to answer. And that's all Matt needed to confirm it. He leaned back on the edge of the bed and smiled "so...I'm an uncle?"

"How...how did you know?"

He shrugged "I didn't. I just put two and two together." He then sat up and grabbed onto my hands "you came here to tell him right? So why is it taking you so long...?"

He just kissed me and now he's concerned about his brother? I mean Jin doesn't want to be a father. And honestly, I don't want him to be one either. I pulled away from him and stood up "I better get going?"

He got up and struggled to find me. Every time he reached out for me, I would move out the way. "Quinn....stop playing with a blind man."

"Well stop pressuring me to tell your brother...he's a dick"

He started to chuckle but stopped "Yeah he is. But he wasn't always like that. And you know it" he said finding my hands. I rolled my eyes "so what changed?"

"...your death. Well fake death. What did you expect him to do? just forget about it and move on with his life?...."

I shrugged.

"Come on Quinn, he is still in love with you. Save him the agony and just let him know before he hurts himself or-

"Hurt himself? What do you mean?"

He blushed before clearing his throat all awkwardly. I was so confused. Why was he pushing me to Jin when he just kissed me. I felt so rejected. I quickly got away from him and picked up Dream. My little girl started throwing a fit begging me to put her down so she can finish the rest of her breakfast.

"Quinn, I didn't mean to upset you" Matt said walking towards us. "No, I get it. Alright...."

As soon as I put Dream down he grabbed my waist and twirled me around. His eyes searched my face until he was looking directly into my eyes. I don't really like looking into people's eyes for too long, but for him, I can stare into them all day. "Quinn, I like you. A lot....but...I'm not going to step in between something that I know would work between you and my brother."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah..I better get going-

"Why? You're going to tell Jin about-

"No, I'm going to go train, eat, then try to put Dream to bed in the evening. then I'll go and teach myself how to swim" I said trying to slither away but he kept me in place.

"Teach yourself how to swim at night?" He asked stunned

"Yeah"

He gave me fearful look "I'll help"

He's blind, how can he possibly help? But then again, he has done a lot of surprising things.

"No Matt, I-

"Quinn, you're not going to change my mind. I'll find ways to help. Just trust me. And as for Dream, bring her down when it's bedtime, does she like bedtime stories?"

I smiled. He would make a perfect father. Unlike his brother.

"Yeah...thank you"

He returned the smile and kissed my forehead. "Everything will work out. I promise"

I don't care what he says. There is no way I'll ever talk to Jin

~~~

But boy was I wrong.

Now I was watching him strip naked. I tried not to be tempted to see what he was packing with. The last time I saw it, was years ago, but now...I felt like he got bigger. He walks up to me and squats down to touch my face; eyes shining with the blue waves. My heart leaped and I realized I was still in love with him.

I wanted him

Now

"Do you want me to continue?"

I nodded and allowed him to lean near my face

His mouth parts like he might say something, but then his lips crash against mine in an urgent kiss. He climbs up my body until he's lying on top of me. His hard mass of lean muscle, crushing me under his weight, and it feels so good and safe to be under him. His cock—hard like the rest of him—cradles between my legs. He rubs himself against the slippery opening, but doesn't try to push inside yet. It feels amazing either way. I moan into his mouth and spread my legs wider. "Fuck me," I beg him when the intensity of the rubbing becomes too much. Now I need him inside. "Are you sure?" he says against my mouth. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

He smiles, his teeth against my lips. He positions the head of his cock at my opening. My mouth parts when it slips in. He bites my bottom lip and fucks me with just the head for a moment, and it's exquisite. It feels so good that I don't want it to stop. He starts to push against the barrier and my eyes spring open and pain shoots through every part of my body. I let out a yelp and he stops immediately. The last time I had sex was when we were making Dream. I just never thought it would hurt this bad after so long. I felt like a Virgin again. "Did I hurt you?" he says, his voice full of concern. "No, it just surprised me, is all." He starts to pull out but I stop him. "No, please. I want it."

"Okay," he says and kisses me again, this time watching my eyes, focusing on my expression. He pushes again, and this time I focus all my attention on him, the way he's looking at me, the way he manages to make me feel things I've never felt for anyone. With another push, he sinks all the way into me and I gasp. The pain only lasts a second or two before subsiding. He stays inside of me, not moving. He moves the bangs off of my forehead. "Do you want me to keep going?" The fact that this athletic army solider can be so gentle and concerned about my well-being is endearing. I find myself falling just a little bit harder for him and wanting him that much more.

As soon as the pain is gone, my body warms up to this new full feeling inside of me. I feel pleasure and comforted at the same time. "Keep going," I tell him and rock my hips forward to urge him on. He moves slowly. I moan at the unfamiliar sensation. This is good, I think. This is really good. I match his gentle thrusts with my own until my clit slaps against his pubic bone. Now this is even better. Pleasure comes from the outside and within at the same time, and I start to lose myself to it. My body starts to loosen up. The less tense I am, the better it starts to feel. Moaning and whimpering comes from my mouth without me even realizing it. He grabs my hips and starts to thrust harder, taking off the training wheels. I let out an appreciative cry of approval.

This was better then the first time. Much better. It helped the fact I saw every muscle flex each time he gave me one hard thrust. I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Jin.

~~~

We went on like for at least thirty minutes. He picked me up and took me back to his room where he had me sleeping next to my baby girl.

Well our baby girl.

The bed was big enough for at least four people. Dream was sound asleep when we got there. I crawled into bed with her and Jin cuddled up behind me.

And for once it felt like we were finally becoming a family. I now had the courage to tell him.

~~~

"You're using her"

Was all I heard when I finally woke up. My whole body felt like I just got into a fight the night before. My back aches, my legs were hard to stretch and my arms had a lot of scratches. I felt around for my daughter and I sprang up when I didn't feel her next to me. I stared to panic. I hopped out of bed, only to realize I was still naked. Panicked I grabbed the sheets and used it as a cover. I followed the voices. They were coming from outside the front door. Impressed my ear to listen.

I could tell it was Jin and Dylan talking

"Do you know the meaning of the word used?" Jin asked

Pause

"You were suppose to go home and get your head straight. And you chose to sleep with a girl that looks exactly like Quinn. Snap out of it and come back to reality" Dylan said. I could tell he shoved Jin just by how His shadowy shoulder moved.

My heart dropped.

"I'm not using her"

Dylan started to laugh. "You don't like kids, but here you are playing father with her little girl."

Another pause

I didn't move until I heard Dreams hiccup. He had Dream! Dylan was saying all these things in front of my daughter!

I furiously opened the door disgusted at the fact I actually slept with Jin. He was using me cause I look like Quinn. But I am Quinn...

This was hurting my head

Still...

..he's still slept with me to fill that pain. And I fell for it.

The men all turned to me. They both had their army suits on. Dylan had an embarrassed look on his face while Jin still had that stupid poker face. He had Dream in his arms. Her thumb was in her mouth as her head rested on his cheek; her eyes were closed indicating she was still sleepy. I don't even know why he woke her up so early.

"You're up early" Jin started.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"You ready for training? Do you like rock climbing?" Dylan asked

I didn't answer him

I just grabbed my daughter from Jin and started making my way out the trailer.

"Umm Queen..." Jin said

I turned over my shoulder "what?"

"Are you just going to walk out with my sheets?"

I gave him a dirty look and nodded.

Then I left.

The only person that was outside for the most part was Sophia. She was making her way inside when we brushed past each other. Once she spotted me, words cannot describe how she was staring at me. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out I just had sex with Jin. I mean I was naked and only had his sheets on me.

I lost my confidence in telling him now.

~~~

It was only 5am. Too early for Dream to be awake. I placed her back on my bed. Cindy and Roxy were still asleep. So I quickly put on some sweats and a tank top. I grabbed a brush to comb my matted hair. This will be the last time I got to bed with wet hair. I think I was even catching a cold.

While I was placing my shoes on I heard whistles and Jin's voice. "Everyone get up! You have ten minutes to get ready and meet at the front of the trailers. Today we will climb"

Cindy got up almost immediately and cursed "god does he have to scream that loud" she said trying to go back to sleep but I grabbed her feet and dragged her out "come on, he will punish us if we don't get out on time"

She sat on the floor before looking up at me "so how did it go?"

"What?"

"You were gone the whole night. I fell asleep before I can look for you. Did you and Jin finally talk or"

I didn't want to tell her. I tried to change the subject so we can hurry up and start our daily routine

We were all ready. All the boys and girls gathered in front of the trailers and faced all the soldiers. My brother joined us and he too asked about any updates of Jin and I.

I pretended I didn't hear him.

"Alright I'm sure you guys are all cranky and everything but suck it up. Today, we will do some rock climbing, it will help the-

Sophia interrupted Zack and came forward. "The men can do the rock climbing. But you females will learn how to fight today. So pick a partner" she ordered.

Everyone stood frozen. Yesterday we learned about defending ourselves. Now we have to fight?

I could already feel my anxiety come back. My legs already started shaking. I could see Jin catch my eye. I didn't give him the contact he wanted.

I wonder where Matt was

Zack and Nick took the boys including my brother off to rock climb. As for the girls, we stayed.

Jin also stayed behind.

"Queen!" Sophia yelled out

Stunned I didn't answer. So she marched up to me and started yelling in my face "why didn't you answer the first time?"

I shrugged

Some girls giggled.

She growled, then proceeded to yank and my arm to the front. "You will be my partner. I will use you as an example. Now stand straight, look me in the eyes. I am the enemy, I have a knife on me" She said pulling out the most fakest knife I've ever seen. "Now fight for your life" she said ready for me to run up to her.

I hesitated. I looked over at Cindy. She mouthed "don't panic. Show her whose boss"

I hesitated and found myself walking towards her. And the next thing you know, I was on the floor with her boot on my neck and the knife pointed straight to my face "get up weakling and try again" she mocked.

" get up! You can take her! I know you can" Cindy said hopping from foot to foot already looking anxious.

I sat up only to see Jin by my side "get up and fight her" he said grabbing onto my collar.

Aren't we supposed to be trained for this first? I mean yeah I can take her but damn! This was not professional at all.

I shoved Jin away. He soon got angry and pulled me up from the waist. I felt totally mortified. His face softened and he started patting the dirt from my back.

Sophia looked incredibly annoyed "Jin, you don't help the weak. Don't you remember? Let her do it for herself"

I soon got irritated.

I'll show her whose weak.