I said no.

How could I marry Matt and I haven't fully processed Jin's death? I wanted to find out more but I was afraid to ask. I didn't even want to come to the funeral. It was too hard. And to think the last time I saw him I was so cold. I wish I could take it back. I wish I would have kissed him, I wish I would have said he would be a great father...I wish I told him- that I loved him.

I didn't want to move on

I didn't want to forget about him.

This hurt.

It hurt too much.

The pain was so unbearable. I would never wish this on my worst enemy.

I isolated myself from my family. I spent most of my days on my bed, just wasting my life away.

My mom and brother came down to visit. It helped for a while but it didn't last long. Every time I thought about Jin made me break down. Dream has been pretending it wasn't bothering her. But I know she cries behind close doors. She was just like her dad; showed lack of emotions. I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to be strong..but I just lost the father of my kids.

He got blown up into pieces

Would I rather him been shot? Did he have a painless death? What was his last thought?

I sighed.

It's been two weeks. Two goddamn weeks. All I've been doing is feeling worthless. I still wasn't over it. I just laid in my bed every chance that I got. I didn't go out like I used to, I just took care of my kids, and locked myself in my room. I couldn't even stand looking at Matt either. He looks just like Jin and it was just painful.

He rarely came to see me ever since I rejected his proposal.

That changed.

After I took Dream to school, I went straight back home. Cindy was feeding Junior by the time I got back. She tried to have a conversation with me but I wasn't having it. I went straight to my room and laid there; covering my whole body with the blankets just weeping again. I held on to the pink blanket. It comforted me a little bit.

I was comfortable and was about to cry myself to sleep when my door burst open. I didn't even sit up to check who it was. The specimen tugged on the blanket. I held on tightly. "Get up" he ordered. It was Matt. I wasn't stronger then him, so he was able to easily peel the blankets off of me. He still had his shades on. He looked so cute today; he wore some nice dress pants and a tight collard shirt. His hair was combed back, making his face appealing to the eye.

God. He looked so much like Jin

"Get up Quinn, this isn't healthy" he said reaching for my arm. I flinched back, but he still managed to grab onto the pink blanket. "Let go" I said. His grip only got tighter. We started playing tug of war with it. I tried to kick him off it but he held on really tight. When I thought I got the best of him, he gave one hard tug; retrieving it easily. Furious I stood on my bed "Get out of my room! And give me back the blanket!"

"Why? So you could hold on to it and cry some more? My brother is dead Quinn, that doesn't mean you should be too-

"You don't control my life Matt" I said jumping of the bed and getting in his face as if he could see it. "If I want to cry, let me do it! Let me grief in peace-

"We both know you're not going to get over it anytime soon"

I rolled my eyes. How is he so calm? His brother got blown up into pieces and he's telling me to calm down?

Matt walked over to my window and let some sun in. My eyes almost burned. I don't know why he won't give me the respect to let me grief. Cindy, Jackson, my mother, even Dream has been giving me space to cry all my emotions out.

But Matt

After letting sun in, he turned around and gave me a disapproving look. "Quinn, look come here" he demanded. I made him walk to me instead. Without my permission he started feeling up on me. I wanted to slap him, but he wasn't touching me inappropriately....and..it felt nice. He had some magic hands. It instantly calmed me. "Quinn...I could feel you have gained some weight"

Appalled I backed away and looked at myself in the mirror. Yeah my stomach got a little bigger but I was still the same Quinn. "Look what you're doing to yourself Quinn-

"Doing what?"

"Being all depressed-

"Matt- your brother got BLOWN UP INTO PIECES!"

my comment hurt him. You could tell by just looking at him. "Quinn, do you really think he would want you to lay here and cry everyday. How are your kids going to cope with this? They need you."

A hard lump developed in my throat. "Yeah everything is my fault." I said sitting on the bed. Deep down I knew he was right. But-I just needed time. I had to grasp the fact Jin is dead. He wasn't coming back.

Matt walked over to me with ease. He didn't trip on anything in his way. I wonder how he does that. "Do you want to sit and feel bad about his death for the rest of your life? I'm not telling you to forget about it, but there are people like me that just want to help. Please let me in" he said

I hesitated

He gave me his hand "do you trust me?"

I squeaked a "yes"

He smiled "good, now get up, let me take you out"

I pulled back. But he pulled me forward. I couldn't forget when he told me he loved him. Did he really mean it? Or was it said because of that moment. "I don't think I can go Matt"

He leaned in and pecked me on the lips. My heart instantly leaped and I lost my balance. I wasn't expecting him to kiss me.

Matt just stood there smiling. "I'll be waiting downstairs for you."

Before I could even say anything else, he left.

~~~

He took me out bowling. I pretended that I was having fun. But I couldn't stop thinking about Jin.

The next day, Matt came back. This time he took me and my kids to adventure landing. Everyone had fun. But me.

Matt came back the next day. He took everyone to Disney land. It didn't take long for Junior to get comfortable around him. Before you know it, my kids warmed up to him. Even Dream. She told me she didn't want another father, but here she was clinging on to Matt's neck like she used to do to Jin.

Then it hit me. He was showing me how much he loved my kids and I. He was showing me that he would make the perfect father. He was showing me that he needed a chance. Once Chance. Actions speak louder then words. And he was doing a great job at it.

So I took a risk. After calling my mother and talking to Cindy for advice, I finally made the decision.

Matt finished tucking in Junior and Dream. I waited for him outside the door. "I'll see you tomorrow" he said giving me a kiss on the cheek. He looked out of breath. Brought a smile to my face. It was cute how much he tried. "Matt.." I said

"Yeah?"

"I'll marry you"

He didn't look shocked like I expected. But a bit confused. "Marry me?"

I nodded; getting a bit excited. Somehow it felt right saying that. I needed him. He gave me encouragement. And my kids love him. They needed him in his life. I know we can't get Jin back but he would want Matt to take care of us. And I know he will.

Matt finally gave me the grin I wanted. "Really?"

I nodded some more.

He picked me up and twirled me around. "You will be my wife?"

I giggled. "Yes! Yes!"

~~~

Matt didn't want a big wedding. He wanted to marry as soon as possible, and we did just that. We got married within six months. Only close family and friends attended the small wedding. The only person that didn't show up was Jason; Matt and Jin's older brother. I was pretty disappointed but understood why he didn't show up.

Matt then moved Dream, Junior and I to a different state. We chose Florida to live in.

I heard they had nice beaches there.

Matt and I did a lot of house hunting, but we settled to a four bedroom, four bath brick house. The house was not too big and not too small. The kids loved it. We chose one of the rooms and made it their entertainment room.

Cindy stayed at the townhouse. She really didn't want me to leave but Matt was my husband now. She hasn't visited yet, she was too busy with waitressing and applying to colleges.

My brother wasn't so excited about our move either. He wanted us to stay close so he could see me and the kids from time to time. But what could he do? he trusted Matt so he didn't have anything negative to say about it.

As for Dream and Junior,They loved the move. Matt made sure to take them to the beach every weekend. It was the summer so all we were doing was having fun.

Matt started a teaching job; he taught the blind to read. How ironic was that? He was making hell of a lot of money doing that. And the most surprising part of that was that he didn't need to work. He already had a lot of money from his parents life insurance.

But he still chose to help the blind

I was a stay at home mom. Junior was about to turn four so Dream and I were brainstorming ideas for his birthday party.

"Why a house party? Why not just go to the water park again? We had so much fun last year" Dream said. She was now up to my chest. When I was her age, I was quite chubby. But Dream was still skinny and petite. I would not say that about myself. I gained a lot of weight. It wasn't as bad as how I was in high school, but I changed. A lot. And honestly, I didn't care. If Jackson were to see me now, he would be very disappointed. I told myself I would hit the gym as soon as possible but I just got lazy. Jin's death really did damage to me. I didn't even care about my appearance anymore.

My thighs were thicker, my hips were wider, and my stomach wasn't flat anymore. I didn't have rolls, I just got thicker. I knew eventually the rolls would come back.

But do I care?

"Where do you want to go for your birthday Junior?" Dream asked the little toddler; he was plopped on the couch watching transformers. He was so engulfed he didn't answer.

Dream fell silent. "Where do you think dad would want to take Junior"

"Who Matt?"

She shook her head "no, my real dad."

My heart dropped. Every time I hear his name, it just made me depressed. It's been a year and I still sometimes cry myself to sleep.

Matt came later that evening and had dinner with us.

After he took the kids to bed, he joined me in our bedroom. I tried so hard not to bring Jin up. I wanted to tell him I was finally ready to travel back to North Carolina to visit his grave. But I didn't want to damage his day so I kept quiet.

"You're awfully quiet" he said pulling my head to his chest. I just lay there debating on whether I should tell him or not. "Are you not happy?" He whispered

I lifted my head up and punched him softly "of course I'm happy. I just am having one those moments-

"Moments?" He asked sitting up; staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes. Doesn't matter if he was blind or not. He never had trouble finding my eyes.

"Forget it. I actually wanted to thank you" I finally said falling back on his chest. "Oh?" He asked combing my hair with his fingers.

"Yeah. Because of you, my kids and I are happy. I know we can't get Jin back but...you healed us. I love you Matt."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yes, yes I love you" I said without any hesitation. I fell in love with him as soon as he said "I do" he changed my life for the better. He helped me cope, he provided me a home, and loved me even when I did gain some of the weight back. It felt nice.

He started massaging my stomach "I was thinking...

"Of?"

"I want a baby."

I plopped my eyes open. Baby? Ever since we got married, he adopted Dream and Junior. So they are technically his. I never wanted to have more. I don't think my body can take anymore. "I want you to have my baby Quinn"

That did sound tempting, especially coming from him. It's funny because he and Jin were very similar when it came to love making; so passionate, so caring...

Matt suddenly sat up and buried his face in my neck "I want all of my cum inside you"

My heart started racing. His words can easily make me excited. I found his lips, and he aggressively stared removing my clothes. When they were all gone, he turned me until my face was all smothered in the pillow.

He then lifted my ass until I was on my hands and knees, my bottom in the air. I heard him start unbuckling his pants. I peeked to see his cockhead poised at my entrance. My body was on fire with desire. I couldn't stop myself from giving him everything. Palms flat on the mattress and legs spread wide, I waited for him to make his next move.

The sting of his hand coming into contact with my ass had me gasping. "Tell me, Quinn. Tell me you want this. All of this." His voice was thick. "I want this. I want you."

"I am so fucking hard for you. Do you feel what you do to me?" He asks teasing me. I clench the sheets. "Oh I want you" I whisper. He thrust against me, letting his cock slide between my folds, my slickness no doubt coating him. Then he was slowly pushing all his hard inches into me. Tears of pleasure were forming in the corner of my eyes, then slowly trailing down my cheeks. That burn and stretch of him filling me consumed every part of me. I welcomed it. When he was completely inside of me he didn't move. His hands gripped my hips, holding me in place. I pushed back against him, telling him without words I needed some movement.

Matt started moving in and out of me, slow and easy and first but as the seconds moved by, his actions became more demanding. Each time he pushed into me and pulled out, my pussy wet and sucking at his cock, my desire heightened. I wanted him. I didn't want him to stop.

"Mommy?"

My moans stopped and Matt jumped off me. Thank god the door was locked or else, Dream would have saw everything. "Mommy someone is at the door"

Matt quickly placed his pants back on. "Who would be here at this time? It's almost 11pm." He was visually angry that our night of passion was interrupted. It was quite cute. I covered myself with a towel. When he was done he ordered me to stay in bed.

He opened the door and let Dream in. She joined me in the bed as Matt went to check who was at the door.

"I'm scared" Dream whispered

"Scared why?"

"The person knocking was knocking hard. I thought you heard it" she said scooting closer "should we go wake up Junior?"

I shook my head. It was probably nothing.

Minutes went by and there was still no sign of Matt. It was not until I heard yelling that I jumped off the bed. I told Dream to stay in bed. My heart was racing so wild. My first thought was maybe it was a robber but when I got closer to the front door...I realized it was a woman.

She had on a really tight black dress on. She looked very muscular but not in a weird way. You could tell she was very athletic. She was all in my husband's face like she was about to beat him up. It was not until I saw the silver hair that I realized it was Sophia.

I didn't know whether to feel excited or upset.

When I got closer, she noticed me. Her eyes widening. Was it because I was a lot thicker then I was before? Or was it because I was just in a towel? Who knows. "Sophia? What are you doing here?" I asked crossing my arms

She blinked twice and hesitated "I-uh-I have something to tell-

"She was just leaving" Matt said

Sophia frowned "you can't make me leave"

Matt crossed his arms "this is my property. You have ten seconds to leave"

She stood her ground challenging him. "Or what?"

Before I can even let out a breath, I saw Matt pull out a gun and point it straight at her face. "Ten seconds. Countdown starts now"