MATTS POV

I just know Bella will never leave me. At least I would hope she didn't. I spent all of my life just trying to be the man my father wasn't for my mom and now I realized that it was all for nothing.

I never liked my dad, the fact that god took away my mom before him is absolutely ridiculous. Now I have to go live with him and watch all of the girls go in and out of his house. I would rather be put into foster care for crying out loud. Now I feel like an ass for saying that because some people don't have a father and I have one. He's not a good one but he still is my dad.

Liz doesn't deserve any of this. She deserved the world and I am supposed to be the one to give that to her but I don't think I can. I'm gonna try my hardest to help her with mom but the fact that I've been in my room for weeks now doesn't help. I wasn't there for Liz like I should've been the past couple of weeks. But I should have been.

After Bella came into my room a few days ago I finally went downstairs and Liz was doing a lot better than I thought she was doing.

Devin on the other hand was an emotional wreck. Apparently going two weeks without seeing me has turned him into a total softie. I always knew he was deep down.

"Mate you've got to see what Bella's wearing. Tell her it's awful!" Devin says to me as Bella walks into the room with a messy bun, orange pj pants, and a yellow oversized shirt.

"Excuse me but all of my clothes are in the wash. Who am I trynna impress anyways?" She glances over at me and gives me a wink before pushing devin onto the ground.

"Meanie," Devin curses under his breath and that's when I notice it.

Not only are they really good friends now, but Devin actually seems himself again.

It's nice seeing him like that but the fact that Bella was the one to make him happier kind of hits me.

"So when did you two become besties?" I ask while cuddling up to Liz on the coach.

"When we had to text each other every day so we knew who was checking up on you and when." Bella responds.

"Fair enough." I reply while checking the time.

I go back to school for the first time in two weeks soon.

I've gotten so many texts from people I don't even know talking about how sorry they are for me but are they really? And what does sorry even mean in that context? Are they sorry that my mom died or that I have to live without a mom? Or even both? Why do people only pay attention to others when they are gone or something bad happens in their life?

I have so many questions about so many things and I don't know if I'll ever get the answer to them.

"It's Sunday, let's go hang out at the park or something." Devin says looking at me and Liz.

"I've actually got homework to do but you guys have fun." Bella replies with a smile.

"You're not coming?" I don't want to guilt her into coming because I know she has a life other than me but an hour at the park couldn't hurt.

She looks at me with a sad face, "I wish I could but I'm not doing the best in school right now." She admits and I immediately feel like I'm the one who did it. As if reading my thoughts she says, "no Matt not because of you. I just haven't been interested in learning about anything that isn't actually useful in my current life."

"Yeah but I've probably implanted that inside your head." I say and she just shakes her head and laughs at me.

"Alright, whatever you say. I'll talk to you after I'm done." She kisses my cheek, hugs Liz goodbye and waves to Devin.

As soon as she exits the door I slump back against Liz who has her headphones on.

"You know that type is hard to come by." Devin says to me and I glance at him with confusion.

"Type of what?" I reply.

"Bella. She is the type of girl every guy wants but almost none get." He says with such confidence. "Anyways lets get going."

As soon as we arrive at the park, Liz goes straight to the monkey bars. If I wasn't so tall I would totally be on those right now.

"Matt," I turn around to be face to face with one of my ex hookups.

I look to Devin who stares at me wide eyed with fear and I have the same reaction on my face.

"Hey..." I try and think of her name but for some reason I just can't remember it.

"Mara." She answers for me. Before I can stop her she puts her hand on my shoulder and tilts her head.

"I'm so sorry for you're loss, if there is anything I can do for you just call me." Batting her eyelashes she walks away and I nearly vomit.

"Why the hell did I ever do anything with her?" I gag.

"Because you were a man whore." Devin says nonchalantly.

"Just because I talked to a lot of girls doesn't mean I actually did stuff with a lot of them." I reply slightly offended.

"Chill man, I was a man slut which is even worse." I give him a 'are you kidding me right now' look.

"They are the same thing." I say and he just shakes his head.

Liz runs up to us panting. "Too much exercise for me."

We both laugh at her before I notice a familiar Jeep parked in the parking lot across from us.

Before I can even comprehend what is happening Devin whispers in my ear.

"Didn't know Brian swung for the other team."

A/N: for those of you still reading, I love you with all my heart. You guys are absolutely amazing like I honestly cannot believe this has reached 14k.