I raised the back of my hand to my mouth and stifled a yawn. I had woken up this morning before my alarm could wake me up. It was a continuous occurrence for three months now. I had another one of those dream-filled nights where I'd woken up sweating or aroused. Every dream had me either pinned against the wall or completely submitted to Rogue Slade. I hadn't uttered that name in three months.

The dreams about him didn't happen as often as they had in the first few weeks that he dumped me at the hospital, but they still happened regularly. It had become so normal that I'd stopped thinking about the wicked things I fantasied about Rogue Slade. Really, any sensible woman would forget about him after what he did.

But three days ago, someone just had to talk about him at the office, despite doing everything I could to stay clear of anything that had to do with him; even gave up on my project and the future ones that tied to him. All of that, and it had to take one conversation and one glance at his picture, then everything had completely loosened. It triggered something inside me. It was as though what I had tried to forget and move on from, something that I did so well to hold down had risen from the very depths of my heart, and I couldn't push it back where it belonged.

Where was he now? What was he doing? Did he regret everything he had done? Was he ever sorry for how he had treated me?

Even though Hanna didn't remember anything that happened, that the only thing she could remember was that night she was walking to my flat and then waking up at the hospital, I still couldn't believe Rogue had nothing to do with it. I still felt in my heart that he was guilty, so why was I thinking about him in a way that I shouldn't be? I disgusted myself in every way. I was pissed at myself. Rogue Slade had no place in my head or my heart.

My co-worker, Erica, stopped pacing in my cubicle and plopped down in the chair facing my desk, pulling my attention to her. "Robert is moving mad now. Everything I do, he says I should do it like you. He compares every idea of mine to yours," she fumed, her delicate features matching her frustration. "You should just take back the project, Beth."

"I can't. You've worked hard on it for the last three months and you're at the end. I can't swoop in and take it back. Besides, you really did a good job. Just forget Robert. He will come down from it."

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, then pushed her dark hair aside to rub her neck. "Remind me why you gave it away again? It's a great project, one that might have moved you up."

I shrugged, chewing the inside of my lip. "It wasn't the right time. I was going through something personal, and I didn't think I could shoulder that responsibility anymore." More like I didn't want anything to do with Rogue and his company. There could have been a chance that I might bump into him, which was why I avoided the project like the plague.

"Have I told you that I met Rogue once? It was just briefly but god," she gushed out, brown eyes sparkling and her cheeks rosy. "He was perfect and intimidating, although, he was very charming and gave off a cool guy vibe. He complimented my clothes and said he liked my bow. Why do you think I started wearing bows?"

My stomach knotted at the mention of his name, and I almost snorted. Charming and cool. Of course. It was his favorite persona. I wouldn't blame Erica for falling for it. If I didn't know him and met him, I would have believed that he was indeed perfect, but after knowing what I did, I wouldn't put anything nice in the same sentence with him.

I smelled Hanna's perfume before she appeared in front of me with a bouquet of flowers in hand. Lilacs. The scent wafted around my cubicle, and I breathed it in. She looked better than she had ever done. She had moved on from what happened three months ago and never attempted to talk about it. I wish I knew if she was really alright. I couldn't even ask her. She always seemed moody every time someone talked about it or even hinted at it, so we all left her alone, feigning ignorance.

Jason, on the other hand, had pulled me aside a week after leaving Rogue. He had apologized, saying he was ashamed and that he only wanted to find his sister and didn't care about the means. I forgave him just for that, knowing I would have done the same thing or worst for Stephanie. Rogue ended up taking credit for finding her, which had made me laugh in disbelief. He even went as far as staging the kidnapping; from how he found her and the place where he traced her to. What made me even more surprised was him saying he had caught the kidnappers, but somehow, they had escaped his clutches.

"Beth! Someone sent you flowers." Hanna handed me the bouquet while I blinked up at her, unsure. I didn't know anyone who would send me flowers. Who could it be from?

"Who is it from?" asked Erica.

"I don't know, but there's a card inside. Open it!" Hanna's giddiness was making me nervous. My hands trembled, and the bouquet felt heavy. There was a white card inside. I took it out but wasn't ready to open it. "Come on, Beth. I'm getting really anxious here."

I rolled my eyes. "West Ward," I read the name scribbled on the card. I remembered who he was. We met at a club, but I was confused about why he would send me flowers. I went out on a date with him, but he ghosted me the next day.

"Why is he sending you flowers?" Hanna whispered in confusion. "Didn't the guy ditch you after the first date? It's been a month! What does he want now?"

I stared at the card for a handful of seconds before I opened it, and sure enough, there was an apology inside. He also wanted to see me again. To talk about what exactly? I was happy he hadn't called for a second date. The only reason why I accepted the first one was because I was being polite.

The first date had gone nice. He was hot, no doubt. He was funny as hell, and truth to be told, when he didn't call me back again, I was sad. I had enjoyed his company so much. West was charming and he had made me laugh. He gave me two hours without thinking of Rogue.

"He wants to see me again. I'm not sure I want to." I put the card back in the flowers and kept the bouquet on my desk. "I wouldn't even call what we had a date. We just had normal conversations and there wasn't even a kiss. What does he want now?"

"It has to be something if he's reaching out to you again," Erica retorted. "Maybe he's been thinking about you and finally realized that he can't breathe without you, so he wants you back."

I glared at Erica. I hadn't put much thought into dating him or anyone for that matter. I was fine and happy being single, or maybe I was just fooling myself. Maybe there were some parts of me that had wishes. No. I shook my head and threw away that idea. No more.

"I think she's still hung up on someone else," Hanna insisted as she stared at me with a knowing smile. "Even though you have denied it, Beth, I know there's someone."

"Don't be ridiculous." I laughed without being amused. I was keen not to dive into that conversation about who I liked.

Hanna bent to meet my eyes. "Who is he? If you're not telling me, then it has to be someone you don't think we will understand." Then she gasped. "Wait, is it Robert?"

"Robert?" Erica almost shrieked out. "You like him? The Robert that we know? That one?" She stared in horror at me.

I grimaced. "It's not Robert, for fuck's sake. You're crazy."

She looked at me questioningly, making me feel like I was under examination. "Then, there isn't a good reason to decline West."

"I don't want to go out with West again," I said, as I suddenly stood, pushing my desk chair with enough force that it went rolling toward the wall. I looked at them in an apology. Why was I angry? There was nothing to be mad about.

"Well, I know why I would definitely accept. He's hot as fuck and he's rich, but I know you're not the superficial type." Leaning back in my desk, Hanna crossed her arms over her chest and furrowed her brow. "I've met him once and he's charming, attractive, and impossible to resist."

"Girl, if you don't want him..." Erica stared at me like I was mad, but I was indeed mad. Someone like West Clayton was harder to find and impossible to keep. He liked me, and he was different from the other guys I went out with. We actually did like each other, and he was reaching out to me again to explain his disappearance, so why couldn't I entertain the idea? I knew the answer to that. I just wouldn't put it into words.

I turned away from them and busied myself with straightening my computer screen so it was facing the right way again. It was easier to think without them reading into my every expression. "It's fine. It's done with. I have already moved on. If he had not reached out to me today, I wouldn't remember I ever went out with him."

"Except he remembers you and he clearly hasn't moved on from his intention." Hanna half-smiled, as if her answer had somehow been a victory for her.

"How about you accept his date, then fuck him and ditch him afterward? There can't be better revenge than that."

We stared at Erica for a few seconds, blinking. Hanna was the first one to break the silence with a laugh.

"What? Why would she waste her time and not get a reward for it?" Erica's tone said she didn't understand why we weren't on board with the idea. "Having a one night stand with West doesn't sound like a bad idea, right Beth?"

Hanna nodded. "She's right. When was the last time you had a one night stand? Your sex life is becoming really sad, and I haven't seen you have fun in months. You need this. You need a spark in your life."

They were right. I haven't had fun in months. I felt misplaced. Like I was where I didn't belong, which was crazy because this was my life four months ago. Why was this any different from what it used to be?

When I excused myself to the restroom, I locked the stall and sat on the toilet seat. I picked up my phone and dialed West's number, swallowing past the ball that had lodged in my throat.

He picked up after a few seconds and greeted smoothly, "Hello, Beth." His smile carried over the phone, through the speaker, and straight into my skin. I could practically hear his delight in his tone.

"Hi, West," I said and found that I was unable to hide the grin in my voice. "Thank you for the flowers."

"I take it, I'm forgiven?"

"Don't push it."

He chuckled lightly. "It's really good to hear your voice, Beth, and I'm hoping you will give me a chance to explain why I ghosted you. I promise you there's a good reason."

I shuffled my feet on the ground and cleared my throat gently. "Listen, it's really fine. I got the message loud and clear. You don't have to explain anything to me."

"Beth," he drawled my name out weakly. "Give me another chance, please. Go out with me tomorrow. I will clear all my schedules. Just one chance. Don't deny me that."

My muscles automatically tensed. I should say no. West was great. He was everything I would want, but if he wanted a chance to explain himself, why wasn't I in a hurry to accept? Why was I annoyed that he wanted to explain? Why was my annoyance misplaced? Because the explanation that I wanted wasn't coming from the man I wanted it from.

"Sure, why not," I found myself agreeing, but mostly because I was trying to prove to myself that it wasn't what I was thinking, and maybe it was because Hanna and Erica were both right. I needed to have fun.

"Great. I'll text you the details. I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see you too." Lies. As soon as the decision was made, I knew it wasn't right. I leaned back against the wall and breathed in, shutting my eyes. The decision settled everywhere in my body, wrapped around me uncomfortably.

As soon as the decision was made, I felt like calling back to cancel it. But maybe, maybe all I needed was a spark in my life. And maybe that spark could be West Ward.

But Rogue...

Rogue nothing. He was gone. He had been gone for three months now. If he had cared, he would have reached out by now, but he didn't. Why was I still holding on to him, then? He was a manipulative psychopath. He shouldn't be having any piece of me at all.

I had gone mad. I was crazy. It was time to stop thinking about him. Time to move on from him. Whatever piece of him that lingered inside my mind, it was time I fished it out and throw it away.

————-

It was after eight, I had just finished going over the work I had today. Walking to the window, I dialed my mother's number and gazed outside, the city glittering with life. I had missed her call earlier, and I knew she wanted to check on me, hear my voice. She still thought I went on a vacation; she and everyone else, and I couldn't tell them where I had been. Where should I start? Who would believe me? It was pointless to start a fight that I couldn't win.

The call went immediately to voicemail and I clicked end. I left her a message, asking her to call me.

I tilted my head down. and it was then I noticed a figure across the street, watching me. My breath caught as I took a step back, but I didn't leave. I couldn't see his face, but the man was definitely wearing a suit. He kept staring at me, not even caring that he was caught. Who could it be? Could it be.....?

Spinning around, I headed out the front door in my bare feet and opened the door. I took the elevator down to the lobby. Stepping out of the elevator, I spotted the doorman, Henry, standing outside, and I quickly looked around, but there was one in the lobby so I jogged toward the front doors.

As soon I was outside, I located the spot where I had seen the man watching me from, but there was no one there. I looked around again. No sign of him. My heartbeat around my chest.

"Are you looking for something, Ms. Wallace?" Henry asked me from behind.

I touched my neck then rubbed my arm before I turned around and flashed him a small smile. "No, no, it's fine. Have a good night, Henry." I headed for the doors.

"You too," he called back.

I hurried inside the elevator and pressed the buttons for the doors to close. When the doors closed, the elevator immediately began ascending, and I leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes, letting out small breaths.

It felt like forever, my stomach flipping, and my heart racing, but when the elevator finally stopped, the doors opened, and I raised my eyes, stepping out from it.

Three roses were placed in front of my door. They were both black. One was wilted and the other was alive. I took a step forward, glancing around the hallway, but there was no one there. I squatted and picked up the roses, then flinched when I pierced my fingers with the thorn on the fresh, black rose. The wilted one was smooth. No thorns. Sucking on my fingers, I stood on my feet.

A sinking feeling was swimming inside me. I didn't know who sent these roses to me, but what I knew was I didn't want to keep it. Walking up to the trash can, I opened it and threw the roses inside. It made me feel better. I walked up to my door, unlocking it. As soon as I was inside, I locked it again.

I didn't notice the man hiding in the shadows, watching me.