This chapter is dedicated to

@SomewhtTwisted for voting! Thank you!!

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"I can explain." Axel repeats, taking a step closer to me.

It's as though he keeps repeating that sentence for the sake of himself, as if convincing himself that what just happened is explainable and not that big of a deal.

"Let me just ask one thing," I say, warning and anger clearly heard through my tone. "Is she a cousin? A sister, maybe? Any kind of relative? Just so I don't look like a idiot when I assume the worst."

"No, she's not. I'm the idiot here." Axel mutters, looking at the ground. "I can explain."

He takes another step forward so I take two back.

"Explain then." I say, thankful that my voice is steady despite the soul crushing sadness that is starting to form inside my chest like a pool of black liquid.

"I...Fuck I don't know what happened." Axel mutters, shoving a hand through his hair.

He looks utterly wrecked, his eyes begging for me to forgive him. But, I can't look into his eyes knowing they were directed at another girl just minutes ago.

"Well, I hope you do because I don't know what the fuck is going on here and yet, even though you were the one with a girl on your lap, you're acting like you weren't here for the past hour." I spit angrily.

"Whoa, gloves are off then." Axel looks at me with disbelief in his eyes. "I don't know, there were no seats left, she came and sat on my lap. I was with friends, I wasn't concentrated on her."

"Are you kidding me?" I shriek, placing my one hand on my head. "That's it. You don't know. You weren't concentrating."

"You're twist-" Axel starts but I cut him off.

He doesn't get to place the blame on me here.

"So, if I was on Dean's lap you would be fine with it?" I shoot back at him.

His entire stance changes at this. As if I poured a bucket of rage over him, his eyes bulge, his back straightens and his jaw clenches. "Don't go there," He seethes. "You know I don't like that."

"Because I fucking love you with other girls on your lap."

"We aren't even exclusive!" Axel bursts out, his voice rising.

It would've been better if he had shot me because I know he's right. We never put a label on whatever was happening with us, never talked about it. My rage merges with my misery as I feel tear prick the back of my eyes.

"That doesn't give you a right to go off like that! Jesus, it's like I don't even know you." I feel my hand tremble, so I clench it into a fist.

"For fuck sake, Skylar! Yes, there was a girl on my lap. Yes, I don't really have a fucking explanation. But, that doesn't mean we can give up on this."

I shake my head at his utter stupidity. "Do you know how embarrassing that was for me? Having the whole group stare at me whilst I run off? Do you know how it felt when I saw her with you? The same girl you had sex with a month ago."

Axel lets out what seems to be a growl before launching off in his own speech, "You don't even understand. I can do what I want, Skylar. You're not my fucking mom. You think you've got everything sorted out but you don't. Welcome to the real world, Baby." Despite the term of endearment, acid drips off of his every word.

"I can't do this, not when you're being so unbelievably naive." I shake my head.

"What, your gonna run off now?" Axel mutters, kicking the curb. He catches my glare and rises his head to meet it. "Tell me why we can't do this then."

"Because I care to bloody much. Because what I just witnessed tore my heart out. Because I thought we had something but apparently we aren't 'exclusive'" I say, making quote marks in the air at the last word. "You're being such a dip-shit right now that I can't even see straight."

"Just listen to my point of view." Axel pleads, taking a step towards me.

"I can't because you won't listen to my point of view."

"I'm listening." Axel says, his eyes zoned in on me.

A tear runs down my cheek and I hastily wipe it away, the fight draining out of me. "Answer me this then. You're scared of commitment, aren't you?"

"What? No." He immediately answers.

"You are, think about it. You never tried to make us a couple. Never introduced me to any of your family or friends, apart from Rob."

"That's not true," He denies. "I'm not scared of what we have."

With those words stuck swirling in the air, Axel takes the final steps towards me.

In a desolate car park, with club music quietly playing in the background, I feel like my world is going to crumble at my feet.

Axel stops in front of me, his breathing almost as uneven as my own. I take a sharp breath in as he trails his hand down my good arm. As he reaches my hand, he clasps it in his own and turns it round, bringing it up to his lips.

Laying a gentle kiss on the inside of my wrist, I feel like I've discovered my own personal form of torture.

Lifting his head, breathing in a shaky breath, Axel seems to have found his too.

"I'm not scared of us." He repeats.

My tears seem to have made themselves known and unstoppable, streaming down my cheeks. "So you could do everything with me right now? You could call me your girlfriend? Introduce me to your family?"

"Yes." Axel says, with fear in his eyes.

Fear I'm not willing to live with.

"Right now, you could do that? You could do that easily without any second thoughts?"

"I don't know." Axel breaths out, tears shining in his eyes.

"Then, this isn't going to work. I can't be with someone who doesn't know where we stand and doesn't understand the importance of trust."

"I can be that man." Axel pleads, his hand that remained in mine squeezing my own gently.

I let out a sniffle, the tears not slowing. "I wanted you to be, but I'm not going to drag you into a relationship you're not comfortable with."

"What do we do now?"

"We have a break." I breath out, knowing this is the only healthy alternative we can use right now.

"I don't want to walk away." Axel sighs, tears glistening in his eyes.

I wipe away my tears and let out a nod, not trusting my words. My soul hurts to the point I think it's been poisoned by this fight.

Giving my hand one last squeeze, Axel lets our fingers drop one by one. Then he walks away.

He walks away.

I let out a sob once he's out of view, covering my mouth with my hand.

Dropping onto the pavement, the tears feel like a representation of the hurricane going on inside of me. My hand rests against my chest, in the hope that it might help ease the pain.

It doesn't.

It's like the air is poison and I can't refuse it, just like my relationship with Axel.

The cooking, the love, the laughter. It swirls round in my head like an old film strip because the memories have already had their joy torn out of them. What's left is something that I never associated with Axel before this.

I sit feeling sorry for myself. With a rumpled club outfit, a painful broken arm and a broken heart, I feel as though this day has taken a one eighty and I don't know how to turn it back around.

My tears are hot, like my anger was, running down my face. I swallow a sob down, remembering that I am still in public.

"Cupcake?" Comes a voice that I trust. "Oh, Cupcake."

Strong, comforting arms come round my frame and cradle me, batting away some of the existing goosebumps.

"What happened?" Rob asks, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my head. "Was my best friend stupid?"

The image of Axel's broken face flashes through my mind and I realise that it was in fact both of us that have messed things up.

I let out a sob and nod, knowing I'll give him the full explanation later. Rob rubs my back with one of his hands and tried to calm me down.

"Time to go home?" Rob asks, his smile gentle and full of sympathy.

"Please." I beg, my voice weak and hoarse after all of my crying.

Once Rob finds Emma, all three of us pile into a taxi.

Orange street lights flash through the window, that I rest my head on, and I count them. Hoping that maybe finding a distraction will help me keep my mind off things.

It doesn't. There's no distractions.

Back in the dorm room, Emma gives me what could be classed as the best hug ever before she goes home. Rob stays with me, helping me with my broken arm and all the annoying extra things I need to do with it.

Finally getting into bed, I think I may have run out of tears.

But as I close my eyes, I hear Rob get out of his bed. The light of his phone lights up the room as he steps out into the hallway.

But, before he does, I hear him say, "What the hell has happened between you two..." Before his voice drifts away into the hallway.

Obviously on the phone to Axel, his question brings back the memories of the past two hours.

His question brings back the wave of tears that I had kept at bay.

••••

I don't even know what to say!!

What did you think of this chapter? Too heavy?

I wanted to highlight how deep Skylar and Axel's feelings were for each other, hence the tears and breakdowns :(

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend that's happier than this chapter!

Much love,

Jade x