This chapter is dedicated to @AriaMay15 for voting! Thank you so much :)

••••

I miss him.

I miss his jokes, my days seeming darker this past week.

I miss his smile, how it used to light up the whole room.

I miss his body and how he used to hold me tight.

I miss him.

It increases as I walk onto campus, knowing that he's so close to me. Yet, I can't touch or see him.

Plus, I still can't think about him without wanting to break down.

So basically, this past week has changed nothing.

Although it has made me appreciate my friends a lot more. Emma, Rob and Brooke have a been a constant support.

It's safe to say lots of ice-cream has been consumed.

Plus, fact that I should probably throw out my swimsuit because there's no way I'm going to fit into that anymore...

Talking about Brooke, I'm on my way to meet her right now.

Our dance troop is facing against the school tomorrow night, at the sidelines of the football match.

It's high stakes, with the whole school going to be there.

Including Axel.

Dammit, I cannot stop thinking about him.

Blowing out a breath in annoyance, I shake my head and head to dance practice.

••••

"Finally!" Brooke shouts as she spots my walking into the studio. "Get your butt into those dance shoes."

Although she may be supportive about my emotional dramas in my dorm room, Brooke in the dance studio is a force to be reckoned with.

"Sorry," I sigh. "Rob was begging me to watch more Project Runway."

Which is true, after staring the series in the beginning of this mess, I seem to have reignited Rob's love for it.

Which needs to be stopped, he's now commenting on my clothing choices.

"Right, let's get started!" Brooke calls.

I head to the front of the class to start demonstrating, loosing myself in the music.

••••

"That was good, Liza you have to work on your rhythm." I instruct.

Practice went well but it kind of has to at this point. I managed to stay at the front the whole time, due to my concussion being cleared, but being able to only move one arm made things a lot more difficult.

"That's great guys, rehearsal over." Brooke announces.

Letting out a sigh of relief, I go and grab my bag. Swinging it over my shoulder, I make my way out of the building.

••••

Approaching my dorm, I'm almost one hundred percent sure I look like a mess.

With my hair tied up, dancing clothes on and a red, sweaty face I pray I don't see anyone until after my shower.

Clicking open the door, my wish has clearly not been met.

Because standing in the middle of my dorm room is Axel.

His presence immediately consumes me, my nerves lighting up in anticipation. My hands long to touch him and my mouth longs to speak to him.

He stands with his hands in his pockets. Wearing blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt, it seems as though he planned his outfit to specifically kill me. His eyes look almost as tired as mine and his mouth is in a frown.

Rob and Axel's murmurs stop as soon as I open the door. They both look up at me, Axel immediately straightening up his posture.

His eyes take me in from the top to the bottom, my cheeks light up scarlet as I remember my hideous appearance.

Not being able to stand his gaze, or the painful ache in my heart, I clear my throat and let out a small smile. "Hey."

"Sorry, I was just leaving." He immediately apologises.

I suck in a breath at his voice. Hoarse and deep, it sounds as though he's been crying.

His apology makes me want to cry.

Of course, the one time his cockiness disappears, is the one time I don't want it to.

"It's fine, I'm just going to head for the shower." I mumble, willing my voice not to crack.

My tears threaten to make themselves known as Axel nods at Rob before brushing past me and going out the door.

His smell hits me like a bullet, bringing back memories of cooking, hugging and laughing together.

All the times I would hug him and bury my face in his neck, inhaling that scent and now it's just washing past me as I let him go.

I let him go.

Watching his drool-worthy body retreat down the corridor, a tsunami of intense sadness hits me.

Tears drop down my face, slow and unsure like my feelings.

Arms delicately engulf my form, Rob giving me a soul-soothing hug.

"We seriously need to sort this out." He whispers as he strokes the top of my head.

"I don't want to load it all on you. You're already helping Axel."

"Let me help you."

••••

Two hours, a box of tissues and lots of tears later, I feel a lot lighter.

After talking things through with Rob, I realise that I have been pushing him away.

Pushing away the man I love.

I didn't tell Rob that, I initially thought Axel should be the first one to hear it.

But now, I don't know if he'll ever hear that I love him.

Because even though I was pushing away feelings, he was the one with the girl on his lap.

Something I can't forgive him easily for, if not at all.

He needs to work for it.

With determination flowing through my veins, an unknown feeling in the past few weeks, I head to my closet to pull out my skinniest jeans.

I remember what Rob told me, a hint of a smile across my lips.

Show him what he's missing.

••••

With November quickly coming to a close, students seems to be a mixture of excitement and dread.

Dread for exams and excitement for Christmas.

Ah, the joys of being a uni student.

However, all I feel is desperation flowing through my veins.

Desperation to see him.

After my talk, I want to explain it all to him.

But, I can't. Not when we're still on our break - a break that we so desperately need.

Walking along to a coffee shop, the football team pours out of the field after their pep talk.

A day before every match, they have training in the morning and then a pep talk from their coach at night.

Which is clearly working, since our school's team is on a winning streak. Which I mostly believe is down to Axel, but then again I'm very biased.

But I can't be, not anymore.

So as the team pours out, I know that Axel will be there. I know he'll be smiling. I know he'll be in his prime.

Like two sides fighting against each other, I don't know what to do.

One part of me wants to walk closer, see Axel even. But the other side warns me against it, remembering in full detail what he did.

I listen to the second side.

I regret it immediately.

But I stick to my words, even though others don't.

••••

"I can feel that headache just by looking at you." Rob winces as he takes in my hair.

Dressed in black sports leggings and a dance top, my hair and make-up are already done.

My hair is slicked back into an extremely tight pony tail and my makeup is simple but with a coating of red lipstick over my lips to try and class it up a bit.

Today is match day and also the day my dance team is competing against the school's one.

Nervous is an understatement right now.

"I know, I can already feel one forming. But it'll be worth it. I've got to give this my all."

Rob grins at my enthusiasm as I go and change.

Due to my broken arm, I can't take a main role like I usually would. Instead, I'm near the back, which means minimal movement in this routine.

The circumstances are annoying beyond belief.

Wearing a bright red top with black stripes round my sleeves and back shorts with red detailing, I feel a sense of confidence wash over me.

If only he was there to cheer me on.

I internally scold myself about thinking about him - every time I do I want to break down and cry. Anyway, he'll have his game face on today, due to the match, so I should have mine on too.

I should. But I don't.

••••

The screams are deafening, the smells are intoxicating and the weather is body numbing.

It's freezing.

But I barely feel it, my thoughts concentrated on the task at hand.

All of the team members are exactly on time, thank god, so we're on time.

The girls of the other team have been glaring at us since we arrived. They're eyes accusing and honestly quite menacing.

We're all gathered in a locker room type of thing, before we get called out.

When we suddenly hear the commentator begin to speak, we all know that there is no going back.

Ladies and gentlemen, as the players have their break, we're going to have a dance off! Between the UCLA dance troop and their new competition. Whoever wins, gets to represent the school from now on. Please give it up for these two teams!

Brooke links my arm with hers and my nerves seem to disappear.

All I have to do now, is dance.

••••

It's Skylar's time to shine! Do we think she can do it?

Plus, Axel made a return! What did we think of him?

Also, I would like to pint something out! I've seen loads of comments saying that Axel was kissing another girl. This isn't actually true, he just had Blossom across his lap with her hands round his neck.

There was no kissing! Just to clear up any confusion :)

I hope you've all had a safe and happy New Year!

Much love,

Jade x