I am sad and I am hurting. It's a strange type of sadness. It's like grieving over the death of your favorite character: You knew it was fake the entire time, but it hurts you as if it were real. It's a sadness that seems illogical, but it looms over your head for a while. The events that took place last night, the words that were spat in my face, it only confirmed that there was never such a thing as Colton and Camryn. As friends, as anything. It was all in my head. It was fictional, and I need to get over it.

If only it were that easy.

I've been sitting in my room since I woke up at 11:30 in the afternoon. It is now 4. My mom came into my room and asked if I was okay, and I said of course. Of course I'm okay, I'm just a little hurt. I've dealt with insults my whole life, but never from someone I liked. Yes I liked Colton, shit, I still do, but I shouldn't.

For the past hour he's been throwing shit at my window, telling me to talk to him, "Please open your window," "Let me explain," "Camryn I'm sorry."

Why does he care if I forgive him? I'm nothing but the school's freak. Freak? Really? I'd expect Colton to be more clever. I just wish he'd leave me alone, all he's doing is dragging on my hurt and embarrassment.

"Camryn just open your damn window!" he says louder. I turn the volume of my tv higher. I hear someone else yell something and Colton yells back, "ALRIGHT!" His voice isn't as loud, but it's loud enough for me to hear him say, "I'm not giving up, I'm just leaving because I have to."

I would usually wonder where he's going, but I'm just glad he's leaving. I feel so stupid for being upset over someone I just met. This whole time I thought he could've possibly liked me back, but he didn't. My mind just made it all up and now I'm the only one who's hurt. Having feelings sucks.

After a few minutes I hear a lawn mower outside. I sit up on my bed and look out of my window. I can't see the front lawn, so I need to open the window and look to the right. When I do this, I see Colton mowing his yard. Now he's the one screwing up left and right.

I hate when my neighbors mow their lawns at this time of day. It's when my dad's on his way home from work and it makes him want to clean the yard too. The problem with that is that he always wants me to help him. He thinks of it as time to bond. It's not that I don't like to bond with my dad, but does is have to be while cleaning? And I'm especially not up for it today.

Even if Colton were to finish before my dad gets home, he'd see the difference in grass length and it will drive him crazy, "Camryn, I am a man, and it is a mans job to keep his yard clean," is what he says. So either way, I'm screwed and I'm going to have to clean outside.

About four minutes later there's a knock on my door. I already know who it is. "Come in," I say.

"Cam, get ready, we're doing the lawn." And he's gone. Ugh, not today. I don't feel like getting ready to clean. What does that even mean "get ready"?

I am ready, I'm in shorts and a t-shirt.

I drag myself to my bathroom and throw my hair into a ponytail and wet my face with cold water. Why can't my mom help him outside. "That's what my husband and daughter are for," is what I've heard a million times.

I meet my dad in the garage but he hasn't opened it yet, he's still tying his work shoes. And by 'work', I mean expensive shoes that are now old and he doesn't care to dirty. While turning around to press the button to open the garage, I pull my phone out. I always need to listen to music when I clean or else I'll get distracted.

"What the heck," my dad says. I turn around and look outside. Colton is mowing our yard. He hasn't noticed us watching him and I just want him to stop, why is he doing this? The look on my dad's face tells me he wants him to stop too, but that's because my dad is weird.

He, just like I, is a big fan of The Big Bang Theory and in one episode Sheldon explains the problem with gift giving. He states that when giving and receiving a gift, they must be of the same value or someone will look bad. Sheldon then explains how it is stressful and he'd rather not receive/give gifts to begin with.

My father has taken that to heart. For example, one morning at a coffee shop, our neighbor was behind my dad in line. My dad was feeling nice and offered to buy our neighbor his coffee and he thanked him. The next morning, our neighbor returned the favor and bought my dad a coffee. Now my dad was in a dilemma, does he buy his coffee again and continue this pattern or awkwardly buy his own coffee and wave bye to the neighbor each morning?

My mom and I both personally said that he doesn't need to buy him another coffee because two equal favors were exchanged and that should be it, it should be over. But no, the stress of what to do each morning has forced my dad to sit in his car each morning and wait for our neighbor to leave before entering the coffee shop. He says he shouldn't have ever bought him the coffee to begin with. Weird, I know.

So I know exactly what my dad is thinking right now: "Great, next time I mow my lawn, I'm going to have to mow their's in return. Then what, will he mow my lawn the time after that?"

The stress of giving/receiving gifts.

"What is he doing?" my dad asks me. I just shrug. How the hell would I know, it's not like Colton tells me anything anyway. "Hey Kyle!" my dad calls out.

"It's Colton," I correct him and I can't hold back a smile. My dad is a dork.

Colton stops and looks up, "Yes, sir?" Sir? Who the hell does this guy think he is. Camryn shut up you're just mad.

"Thank you for this, how much do I owe you?" My dad reaches for his wallet in his back pocket and steps out of the garage to meet Colton on the grass about 10 feet away. I follow, but stay behind my dad.

"Oh nothing, sir. Just being neighborly," Colton says. When did he decide to be a decent person? He's doing this just to torture me.

"Aw c'mon man, let me return the favor now, what do you want?" my dad asks.

"Dad he said it's fine, let's..."

"Actually I'm glad you asked that, sir," Colton interrupts. My dad and I both raise a brow at him. "I'd like to take your daughter out for coffee," he says and my jaw drops. What kind of game is he trying to play?

"No," I say. My dad turns to look at me and looks confused.

He looks back at Colton and asks, "As friends?" I know he's just being a protective dad, but he doesn't know how much his question hurts.

Colton looks to me and then back at my dad, "Of course." POW! What a punch to the face.

"No, I'm not going," I say and turn around to walk back to the house.

I hear my dad say, "She'll go, give her fifteen minutes." What the hell father?! Does he not know that this boy is just going to be cruel to me. He's probably going to make fun of how I like him and he doesn't like me back.

My dad catches up to me at the door and says, "You need friends Cam, you're going."

"No, I'm not." I cross my arms and look up at my dad. He can't make me go, I'm sixteen.

"If you go, I'll let you record all of your stupid shows whenever you want," he bargains. That's actually a good deal because I'm never able to record my shows on tv because he's always watching a game or recoding something else.

"Why do you want me to go so bad that you'll give your television control to your sixteen year old daughter?" I raise my brow at him.

"Your mother and I think it's a good idea for you to finally get out."

"Ouch," I say, acting as if I was stabbed in the heart. He laughs and pats me on the back. "Fine, I'll go, but only because American Horror Story is worth going out with him," I say nodding my head back towards Colton who is still looking at us. I roll my eyes and basically stomp upstairs like an upset child.

I have to keep reminding myself that my tv shows are worth it while I get ready. My dad said to give me fifteen minutes but I'm going to make him wait. I should make him wait all night until he gives up and just goes home, but then he'd probably still throw stuff at my window. I straighten my hair slightly and put on a little mascara. I throw on a pair of jeans and a plain white shirt that hangs off the shoulder. Casual.

As I walk downstairs I continue to stomp like a child. I roll my eyes at my parents as I reach the door and they give me a fake smile. My keys are on the table next to the door and I grab them. If Colton thinks I'm wrapping my arms around him on his motorcycle, he's crazy.

I walk outside and I see Colton leaning against his front door. He stands up straight when he sees me and starts to walk towards me. I press the button on my keys that unlocks the car, and I toss the keys to Colton. I don't feel like driving and having to ask him where he wanted to take me. I just want to sit and be quiet the whole time.

I don't say anything as I get on the passengers side of the car and I hear Colton sigh. I can already tell this entire encounter is just going to be awkward and uncomfortable.

Colton gets into the drivers seat and says, "Hi." I don't respond, I just cross my arms and look out the window. He sighs again.

He starts the car and starts to pull out of the driveway. It's really quiet and it's making me more nervous. I still don't want to talk so I turn the radio on and right away the car is filled with the beautiful sound of Third Eye Blind. It's one of my favorite songs too, 'Semi-Charmed Life'. This song reminds me of summer and fun times for some reason. Maybe it's because I had this song on repeat the whole time, they really are my favorite band.

"Hey I love this song,' Colton smiles. I mentally groan. Why, why do you have to love them? I lean forward and shut off the radio. I know it's petty and childish but he doesn't deserve to be comforted by such beautiful music. Colton sighs for the third time.

Why does he want me to come out with him? I just don't get it. His words last night seemed pretty final that we'll never be friends and that he only felt sorry for me. What is still confusing to me is that Colton doesn't really seem like the kind of guy to take on a charity case. Like he doesn't seem nice enough to pretend to be friends with somebody because he feels sorry for them. He seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't even care.

The silence in the car makes the ride drag on. It feels like we've been driving for a long time but when I glance at the time on the dash, we've only been in the car for ten minutes. This time I'm the one who sighs.

A few awkward moments later, Colton pulls into the parking lot of a gourmet coffee shop. By gourmet I mean the kind of coffee shop that actually seats you and hands you a menu of the different coffees and always has a cool design in the foam. I've never been here before because it's pretty pricey, almost ten bucks a cup.

Colton turns the car off and sounds like he's about to say something. Before anything is said, I step out of the car and walk towards the entrance of the shop. "Camryn!" he calls out. I ignore him and walk inside. As soon as I step in, my ears are filled with disgusting cackling. I'd know that laugh from anywhere, it's Nova.

I get it now, Colton brought me here so I'd be ambushed with insults. I turn around to walk away but I run into Colton. He puts his hands on my shoulders then looks past me, then back at me. "I didn't know they'd be here, let's go somewhere else," he says. He looks serious. Okay maybe I'm just being crazy. As much as I would love to get out of here, I've never ran away from a few mean girls. The only reason I was going to leave now was because I thought Colton was in on it, but I guess he's not.

"No, I'm fine," I say to him and he nods. The waitress shows us to a booth and hands us our menus.

"I'll give you a few minutes to decide what you'd like," she smiles at Colton. He doesn't notice because he still looking at me, seeing if I'm really okay with being here. I'm fine, I've dealt with these types of girls my whole life, I'm no wimp.

The waitress leaves and I look over the menu. I'm tempted to ask for the sixteen dollar cappuccino with a rose design in the foam just to spite Colton, but I decide against it.

"Camryn," Colton says. I can feel his eyes on me as I look over the menu.

"What?" I ask, still not looking at him.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. I look up at him because I'm annoyed with those words, but he looks serious.

"For what?" I ask, "For saying what you really think about me?"

"You know I didn't mean that, Camryn," he says.

"How the hell am I supposed to know that, Colton?" I spit.

"I was drunk and I didn't know what I was saying, it was stupid and I'm sorry." There goes those words again. I'm beginning to hate the words 'I'm sorry'. They give people an easy out of a shitty situation.

"Why do you want me to forgive you? You don't even like me, you don't even want to be my friend," I tell him.

"Dammit Camryn, haven't I made it obvious that I do like you?" he asks frustratedly. I must be hearing things because there's no way he said that.

"How the hell could that be obvious? Oh yea, maybe it was that blonde that's clouding my judgement," I say and regret it instantly. I don't need him upset with me for reminding him that I was at the party yesterday. Instead of him getting angry, like expected, he sighs and looks at his hands on the table.

"See, that's why we can't ever be together," he whispers.

"What?" I choke out.

"I do stupid shit like her and it hurts you, and I don't want to hurt you." He's still whispering, looking down at his hands and I'm wondering if he's even talking to me. The waitress comes back and asks us what we want. Colton still doesn't look up so I just ask for two caramel cappuccinos.

When she leaves, I ask Colton, "What are you talking about?"

"Can we have a completely honest conversation right now?" he asks, looking me directly in the eye. His stare is deep and it makes me hesitate to answer, but I eventually nod. "You like me, don't you?"

His question makes me angry for some reason, "If you're doing this to humiliate me Colton I swear..."

"I'm not, I swear. Just answer me," he interrupts. I can't tell if he's joking or not, he's too hard to read.

"I thought I did," I finally say. His face falls slightly but he recovers quickly.

"So you don't anymore?"

"Well, after last night..." I don't know how to finish my sentence. I still like him but I know I shouldn't so I'm not sure what to tell him.

"Well Camryn, I think I might like you," he says. Can that be anymore of an unsure answer? That is such a vague statement, if anything it just made me more confused. He must see my confused look because he continues to talk. "But here's the problem. I don't date, never have and probably won't until I can stop making stupid decisions. You see, that's my problem, I make dumb choices. I do what I want and never think of the consequences. I'm selfish and I'm a jerk, and I don't want to be a jerk to you..."

"HA! Could've fooled me," I cut in and he holds his finger up, motioning for me to be quiet. He's lucky I listen.

"The reason I'm mean is because you're the first person who's ever seemed to care about what I do and why I do it. Why? I have no fucking clue. But I like it, and it scared me. I didn't know how to act with you so I acted the only way I knew how and that was to be a dick. Last night when I saw that you waited up all night just to apologize, it freaked me out. I thought, 'Why does this girl care so much?' And I figured it might be because you like me, and I was right. I thought if I was mean enough, you'd stay away from me so I can't hurt you, but then I realized I don't want to lose you completely. Are you still listening?"

My eyes must've fallen to the table, because I need to look up when he asks me this. All of his words are so much to handle, I couldn't look him in the eyes the entire time. "Of course I am," I answer. The waitress comes with our drinks and I immediately take a sip. This cup of heaven is so amazing, no wonder it was $11.25.

"Okay," Colton continues, "What I'm trying to say is, if we were to go out, I can promise without a doubt in my mind that I'll break your heart. I know that's fucked up to admit, but it's true. Trust me, if you were any other girl I'd be perfectly okay with sleeping with you and then never speaking to you again, but you're not any other girl. I don't want to hurt you. You're the first girl I feel like I can actually talk to and you listen. I feel comfortable around you. Do you think I just take naps in any girls bed without sex? because I don't. I also don't spend half the night in a girls room either, but I did that with you."

"Colton what are you getting at?" He's confusing the hell out of me. He's telling me I'm like no other girl he's ever met and how he feels comfortable with me. Is that not what you want in a relationship? But he said he doesn't want one. He said he'd break my heart and I don't want that and apparently neither does he.

"I want to be your friend," he says. I now understand why teenage boys complain about the friendzone, it sucks. "But like a real friend, not like you and Judith because honestly it doesn't even seem like you like her." I shrug at his statement. "I know it might be hard because I know it will be for me, but I think it's for the best."

"So if we're friends, like officially, you'll stop being a secretive jerk?" I raise my brow at him. His whole friend deal seems like a good idea actually. I should've known that I couldn't just go from the school's social reject to someone in a relationship. I should've known I'd need to start off with a stable friend I actually enjoy.

"Yes, because even though you gave me a few reasons not to trust you, I still do," he laughs.

I pretend to be shocked and say, "How did I dishonor your trust?"

"Well um let me see," he says, squinting his eyes, "Oh yeah, you spy on me through your window, and you follow me to parties."

"I'm still sorry about that by the way," I tell him and he nods.

"It's okay, did that douche hurt you?" he asks. I almost forgot about Ethan. I hope his face stays ugly for a while.

"No, it just freaked me out a little," I say, trying to shake the memory out of my head. The thought of his drunken breath it nauseating.

"You know if Toby didn't stop me, it would've been bad." So the guy with the black car has a name.

"I know," I say looking at my coffee. I wonder if someone stopped the fight between him and that Penn guy. And if it did get stopped, how far was Colton going to go. "Hey, since we're friends now, do you think you can tell me about your last school?" I ask, casually taking a drink of heaven.

"Oh Camryn," he sighs, "that's a conversation for a whole other day."

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(First a/n!!! For anyone reading, I'd really love to know what you think so don't forget to comment!!)