"What?" I croak. He can't be serious. He wants me to sleep in the same bed as him?! Oh my god I can't do that, according to Aimee, I am a terrible person the sleep next to. Whenever we'd have sleepovers she said I always moved around too much. She also said that I sleep talk and everything I say is usually embarrassing. I've had trouble with sleep talking for a while, but it's only when someone tries to talk to me first.

For example, not too long ago I fell asleep on the couch and my mom woke me up and told me to go to bed. I responded with, "That isn't fair, I didn't get to finish, I'll do it tomorrow." I have no freaking clue what I was talking about. What if I say something embarrassing to Colton? I just can't.

"You heard me," he says. I shake my head and he laughs. "What? It's not like we're going to have sex." I gulp and my eyes go wide. "I mean I'd like to, I just don't think I can in my condition," he smirks.

"Oh my god, if I lay down will you shut up?" I ask, covering my face with my hands. He must be joking about... you know... sex. We're not even together, we just kissed. How is he joking at a time like this? I like it though.

"Yes," he answers. He slowly lays down on the edge of the bed and groans while doing so. He pats the spot on the bed next to him and smiles a huge smile.

"No, you're sleeping against the wall," I tell him, motioning him to scoot over.

"No way! What if an intruder comes through the door and I need to protect you?" he raises his brow with the Band Aid on it.

"What if my dad comes in? I'd have to protect you then," I tell him and his eyes go wide.

"You didn't lock the door?!" he whispers loudly.

"Of course I did, just scoot over!" I whisper back and this time he listens. Slowly but surely, he moves over enough for me to lay down. I stay a good three inches away from him, but I can still feel the heat radiating off his body. We both are on our backs looking up at the ceiling. We both stay quiet for a few moments.

"What do you want to know?" he whispers finally.

"I thought you were tired," I say.

"No, I want to talk to you. So what do you want to know," he repeats. I'm glad he wants to talk to me, he finally wants to let me in. I don't even know what I want to ask him.

"Why?" I whisper, turning my face to look at him. He stays looking up.

"Why does my own father beat the living shit out of me? God I wish I knew," he scoffs. It was a stupid question. "He's been doing it for as long as I can remember, but when I was younger he'd only do it when he was drunk. He'd always cry the next day and apologize, but then he'd be right back at it. Now he does it whenever he's angry and I don't even know why."

The thought of a young Colton being terrified of his father makes me sick to my stomach. "What about your mom?" I ask, "what was she like, before she died?" Colton lets out a cold laugh and I'm confused.

"She's not dead," he says sharply. "He lied, he doesn't want anyone to know she left him." My jaw drops and so does my heart. No wonder he was so angry when his dad said that the first day we met. "She left me Camryn," he says, turning to face me. His eyes are cold and glossy.

"And she knew he did this to you?" I ask absentmindedly. Of course she knew, another stupid question.

"Yeah she knew, he used to beat her too. Once I was big enough I started to fight him back whenever he went after her, but when she left..." he hesitates. "When she left me... with him, there was no reason to fight back anymore. She gave up, and so did I. What I don't understand is why didn't she take me with her. Why'd she leave me Camryn?" His question breaks my heart and I scoot closer to him and wrap my arm around his torso. I rest my head on his chest and hold him tightly. His heart is racing and his breaths are uneven. He's being so strong.

"I'm sorry," is all I can say. I've asked myself the same question many times 'Why couldn't my birth mom take me?' but it doesn't hurt me like it hurts Colton.

"All she left me was a letter," he says. "I wake up to her not being there and all I find is a stupid letter telling me how it was for her own good and that she'd be back for me," he sighs deeply. "It's been five fucking years, where the hell is she?"

I hug him tighter and I feel a few tears roll down my face. I don't think I've ever cried this much in my life. I've never actually cried for someone, except him. Only him.

I squeeze him once more and pull away to lay on my back again. "You can't live like this," I think out loud.

"Oh yeah? Then what the hell am I supposed to do?" he asks harshly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just..." I try to apologize for making him angry.

"No, I'm sorry, I need to stop snapping at you," he sighs. I try to reword my question in a way it won't offend him.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, why don't you go to the police?" I look at his face to read his expression and luckily he doesn't look mad.

"I've actually thought this through, believe it or not," he sighs. "Camryn, if I were to go to the police or CPS, I'd get taken away and put into some shitty foster home with rules I sure as hell won't follow. I turn eighteen next May, that's a little less than eight months from now. I'd rather put up with this shit for that long than be thrown in the system."

I try to process his explanation in my head but in his perspective, but anything sounds better than being beaten. Without questioning his reasoning, I try to suggest a solution.

"Have you ever thought of getting emancipated?" I ask, and he raises his eyebrow.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means to be freed from your parents say basically. It's as if you turned 18 without actually turning 18." I explain, but he still seems confused. "If you were able to show a court reasons why you wish to be emancipated and that you can financially provide for yourself, you would never need your father for anything legal while your still 17. You'd be free."

I try to read Colton's expression to see how he's taking this information. I just really want to help him. There's no way he can live like this for the next eight months.

"That's sounds risky, what if I tell a court but they just throw me in the system anyway?" I can tell he's unsure about the whole thing, but it's his best shot.

"I guess that's just a risk you'd need to be willing to take," I tell him. He presses his lips into a hard line and breathes deeply through his nose.

"I guess," he shrugs. "I'll need to look into it." He lets out a big yawn and then winces once he tries to stretch. "I think I should get some rest," he says.

"Oh, okay. Are you sure there's nothing else you want to talk about?" I ask, hoping he'll still want to talk about us. I wonder what he wanted to say and I can't help but hope he'll tell me.

"No, I think that's it, goodnight Camryn." He turns his head to the right, facing the wall and let's out another deep breath.

"Goodnight, Colton." I turn my body the opposite way of Colton and try to fall asleep. But I can't. I can't fall asleep because I'm too worried I might accidentally kick Colton or punch him or something.

I lay still for about five minutes hoping my mind will get tired enough to not care what I do in my sleep, but nothing's working. Just as I'm about to give up and sleep on the floor, Colton starts shifting his body.

I feel him move closer to me and hear him groan with each action. Then I feel his arm snake around my waist. I want to turn and face him but my body is frozen. Maybe I should just enjoy this moment without trying to ruin it.

Surprisingly, I'm way more comfortable with his arm around me, I can feel myself getting tired. I can feel my mind and body shutting down as Colton whispers something in my ear.

"Thank you, Camryn, but I'm sorry." His words confuse my tired mind and I expect him to try and get up and leave, but instead he holds me tighter and his breaths become even.

What is he sorry for?

Before my mind can try to come up with an explanation, I am asleep.

***

The next morning, I am awoken by movement on my bed. I open my eyes to see Colton carefully trying to climb off of the bed. Without him noticing, I check the time on my phone on the nightstand. It's 7:43.

Once Colton is finally standing up, I say, "Good morning." He quickly turns his head and let's out a sigh. "Didn't mean to scare you," I say, sitting up.

"You weren't supposed to wake up," he says sternly. He looks around the room before picking up his pants off of the floor. His bruises on his body look a little worse with the little light coming in from the window.

"What, were you just going to sneak out?" I laugh. He looks at me and stays quiet. "You were, weren't you?" I ask, furrowing my brows. He stays quiet. Wow, he sure has some nerve to come running to me to just run away again. "Really Colton? How classy of you," I scoff.

"What'd you expect Camryn? Did you want me to stay in your bed till ten and then have breakfast together?" he asks harshly. It is too early for his attitude, but lucky me, I get to deal with it. Yay.

"No that's not what I expected. I just thought that since..."

"Since what? Since you kissed me that means we're together?" he laughs. I can feel my cheeks getting hot with anger. I kissed him because I wanted to take his mind off of the shitty situation he was in and it worked so he shouldn't be mocking me.

"You told me to kiss you again," I remind him, crossing my arms across my chest. What happened to him wanting to talk about 'us' last night?

"Yea well I wasn't in my right mind then. Besides, I kiss plenty of girls Camryn, it means nothing."

I feel like he is purposely trying to hurt me and I just don't get it. Why would he throw the fact that he's been with many girls in my face when he knows how I feel about him. I helped him last night but he still wants to treat me like crap. Well not anymore. I crawl on my bed over to the window and push it open.

"Then get out," I say sharply. He doesn't even look at me as he steps onto the bed frame and steps onto the roof. I slam the window shut right behind him and don't even bother to watch him get in his room.

How could he be so cruel? I ask myself that question over and over until I fall back asleep. "It means nothing."

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