Flashback

Rhea fixed her lipstick in the bathroom before leaving, heading back to the table. She had met Ryder's parents tonight and after they left, Ryder and Rhea stayed for dessert.

Her long red dress swayed with every step as her black hair was pinned up and back.

Ryder helped Rhea sit back down, placing a quick kiss on her lips. "I told you the red dress. You look ravishing."

Rhea felt herself blush. "You only wanted the red dress to distract you." She pointed out.

"True. I told you it wouldn't be so bad."

Rhea gave him a nervous smile.

"I told you they will love you and they do."

"I know, Ryder." Rhea told him. "It's not that, it's, I'm not comfortable around other parents that are well, your parents, for example. I'm making no sense." Rhea placed her head into a hand.

"Yes you are." Rhea looked back at Ryder.

"Because of my own mother, that has a lot to do with it." I gave him a tiny smile.

"It's okay. All it will take is time." Rhea listened to Ryder as he took her hands. "It's not like I'm asking you to move in with them."

That comment got a small laugh out of Rhea. "Okay. Time." She whispered as she lifted her glass of water.

"Now let's go back to my place." Ryder invited as he stood up. "As much as I love that colour on you, it will look a lot better on my floor."

Rhea blushed as she smiled at him, accepting Ryder's hand.

Now

"What are you doing here, Ryder?" I asked him in a harsh voice.

"I'm attending the function I was willing to blow off to take you and Rowan to dinner, but you said you had plans." Ryder answered with his arms folded.

"The function next door?"

Ryder nodded as he looked me up and down. "I'm assuming you aren't here with Rowan?"

I felt my heart speed up as I shook my head. "I'm here on business."

I saw the smirk on Ryder's face. "It doesn't look like business to me." I rolled my eyes as I tried to walk around him. Ryder took my arm as I stilled. "Don't roll your eyes at me." I quickly took my arm out of his grip before I could feel the unwanted emotions.

"Don't tell me what to do." I hissed at him.

"Where is Rowan?"

"At a friend's house." I said, backing away.

"So you let him stay there, but you won't let me see him unsupervised."

"Rowan has known them since he was born. He doesn't know you." I seethed out.

"And whose fault is that?" The tone in Ryder's voice was pulsating out the rage.

"Yours!" I snapped before turning completely, going back to the room Luke was in.

I saw the hurt in Ryder's eyes at the truth, but I didn't care, I kept walking until I was next to Luke.

Luke must have felt the tension because he pulled me aside, asking if everything is alright.

"Yeah." I gave him a large smile. "Another dance?" I tugged at his arm as we stepped on the wooden dance floor, my heels clicking.

I had the unsettling feeling of being watched again as Luke spun me around and my hand landed back on to his shoulder before the tempo slowed. Music started for an intimate dance and I wasn't feeling too comfortable for it, but I could feel a wave of determination sweep over me.

Suddenly my eyes went to the door of the room and I saw who was watching me. His brows furrowed and piercing blue eyes straight at me, Ryder didn't look too impressed.

I grabbed Luke closer as I smiled at him and accepted the dance. I could feel the hole Ryder was drilling into my back as I kept smiling at Luke, feeling confident and determined. I'm not sure if it really was me feeling it or not but I didn't care, I needed the boost.

We were nearly done dancing, the music getting softer when Luke spoke again. "Would you like to go out for dinner next week?" He sprung on me.

It surprised me and I was lost for words. It was something I wasn't expecting. "Pardon?" I half laughed as I stepped back, brushing the hair off my face.

It was that moment that my phone vibrated and I jumped to it immediately, thinking it was Sasha. I looked sympathetically at Luke. "Sorry, I've gotta take this." I walked away as I answered it, leaving the room. "Hello?"

Suddenly a hand took my arm, half dragging me down the hall. I looked at the person and pushed him off me. "What the hell, Ryder?"

"I had to get you out here some how." He growled at me. I dug my heels in and looked at my phone. Then it clicked. Ryder rang me.

"Bastard." I snarled at him, shoving my phone back into my clutch. "Get over yourself, Ryder. I'm a grown ass woman and I can go out if I want to."

"With friends, not dates. We are still married."

"We are separated."

"For now." Ryder added.

I sighed and agreed with him. "Yes, for now. Until we officially get divorced." I snapped. There it was again, the hurt in his eyes as I stepped back. "Now excuse me." I left him there, in the hall as I went to enter the room again. But Luke stepped out, coming to me.

"Is everything alright?" He asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah, just a bit light headed." I lied, walking in with him. I gave Ryder a final glare, a warning, before I left him there.

****

Dear R

My partner and I are separated for a while, but not divorced. I still care and love my partner, but they don't reciprocate the same. My partner is considering a divorce and may have started seeing someone and I am not ready to let go. We have a family together. I need some advice please.

Anon.

I chewed on my pen as I typed away. I had my phone playing my ocean sounds as I sat on my bed.

The fan was blowing on me, trying to cool me down, the first day of our first heatwave of the season. It was only 7:30am, my coffee on the bedside table as my hair blew gently against my skin.

I tapped a nail against the laptop as I thought. This letter was a similar situation to me. I'm separated but not divorced, I want the divorce, I have a family with my ex, I want to start seeing someone again, well, I wouldn't mind it to be honest.

Luke was great last night. After the party, we left, taking me home and was a gentleman.

Now I'm in my bed cross legged, working on a Sunday morning. Rowan was coming back about ten.

Sipping on my coffee, I tried to think on what I could offer anon as advice. I have to be neutral. I can't pick a side. If I could I would say let it go and get over it.

Sighing, I got up with my mug to go to the kitchen. I wanted another coffee, but the weather is too hot for it.

My house phone rang on the kitchen bench and I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Good, you're up." I heard Ryder's voice.

"Rowan isn't here. Call later."

"That's not why I'm calling." He said, making me move the phone back to my ear.

"I don't want to talk about last night."

"Open the door." Ryder stated.

"Excuse me?" I frowned. Door? Then I heard the knock on the front door. I sighed in frustration as I went to it and opened it. "Ryder." I gritted out, hanging the phone up.

I watched as he looked me up and down, making my frown deepen. I looked at myself and gave a small gasp.

I was only wearing a singlet that barely covered my backside. I left Ryder by the door as I went to my room, taking my satin gown off the end of my bed, pulling my arms through as I returned to the lounge room. "What do you want so early in the morning?" I groaned out to him.

"What time will Rowan be back?" He asked. I scratched my head.

"Not till ten, a friend has him and they are off doing what they do on Sundays." Sasha is an avid recycle artist. She collects old furniture and antiques before doing them up and reselling them.

"Oh." I saw Ryder's face drop. "Then while I wait..."

"You don't need to wait here." I curtly told him.

Ryder went to my sofa and made himself comfortable. "I think I might."

I rolled my eyes as I turned away from him, closing the front door.

"About last night." Ryder started, making me freeze in my tracks. I knew he would bring it up.

I shut the door and turned to him, flipping my hair up in to a high bun. "Last night was none of your business. That was very rude of you."

"I know and I want to apologise."

That stunned me. "Pardon?"

"You are right. If you want to go out on dates then who am I to stop you?"

I heard the different tone in his voice when he said dates. This was killing him. But if he is so hurt by it, then why say it?

"But, I want you to tell me."

My eyes went wide as I placed my hands on my hips. "I will do no such thing!"

"I want to be the one that looks after Rowan." Ryder snapped.

"Oh." Rowan, right. Ryder should, he is the father. "I see."

Ryder got up from his spot and moved closer to me when I heard my phone in the bedroom ring.

I quickly went to it, welcoming the distraction. "Hello?" I called out as I answered it.

"Rhea! Is it okay we drop Rowan off early? He is a bit upset."

"Um yeah, sure." I answered her. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, he just misses you, I think."

I wasn't too surprised. I walked back out to the lounge. "Okay. I'll see you in a few." I hung up and placed it on the bench, looking at Ryder. "You get your wish, Rowan will be home soon."

Ryder came to me and I went to step back, telling him to stop when he took a hold of me and pulled me closer.

"Why can't we be one family?" He said softly to me.

"Because it isn't going to work." I told him flatly.

"But Rowan needs both his parents in his life."

"And I'm giving that to him! Under my conditions." I tried pushing him off me, but Ryder was stronger than me. I needed him off me, I could feel him against me, in me.

My breathing had quicken and a huge wave of desire came over me, and I wasn't sure if I actually owned it. I felt my heart race as it belated against my chest.

"Should we both owe it to Rowan to try to work this out?" Came his low voice. His face got closer to mine as I tilted my head away, trying not to kiss him.

Instead, Ryder's mouth went to my neck as he kissed and sucked and nibbled on my skin, making me go wild. He remembered I like that.

My hands went to his head as I pulled at his hair, pulling his face away and turned my head to kiss him.

Our lips locked as Ryder picked me up, my legs curling around him as he held me. He carried me to the bedroom and together we went down as I saw his hand move my things out off the way.

The desire and lust was so strong, I couldn't stop. Ryder's hands went to my gown, untying it, his lips never leaving mine. I could feel his hands under my shirt, slowly lifting it up, groping me, feeling me.

I pulled away from him as I took a lungful of air and Ryder nibbled on my ear lobe. I wasn't sure what was happening, but I still couldn't stop. I took his lips again as I felt my panties slowly coming down.

Then there was a knock on the front door. We both stilled and instantly, the desire I was feeling was gone.

"Momma!"